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Thread: Taking your husbands name?
June 8th, 2013 01:50 PM #16
I changed mine. My maiden name was long and frankly, it was unattractive. My husbands surname is 2 two syllable name starting with Mc, and I always loved it because it was simple and nobody would mispronounce it, as nobody could pronounce my maiden name.Lamb: 21/03/11
Sparrow: EDD 03/09/13
June 8th, 2013 01:57 PM #18
I'll admit to being torn on this issue myself. But that's speaking as a one-time divorced woman. I happily took my first husband's last name - his was very simple and easy to say and spell and my maiden name is very Italian and has been a hassle my entire life. I dreamed of being able to change it ever since I was a little girl!
But it's not a simple process. It's a pain in the rear end actually, all of the stops at government offices, all the letters you have to send. Ugh. And then 6 months later the marriage fell apart. So not only was I a devastated mess but now I was stuck with his last name - unless I wanted to go thru ALL of that work to change it back again. Who wants to go thru all of that twice in one year???
So I kept it. Then a couple years later I met my second husband. He's wonderful - and very traditional and it really meant a lot to him for me to take his name. More than I can explain, his heart was set on it. So I went thru it all again - dropped my first married name, put my maiden name in the middle spot, and took my new husband's name again. I still get mail for all 3 names - my maiden name, my first married name, my current name. As I said before, it's a real p.i.t.a.!
But overall, I'm glad I did it now too. To me, yes it's the patriarchy and all that (I consider myself a very modern feminist), but it really does make a marriage feel like one whole family unit. Also, it meant the world to both of my husbands - I'm sure there are men out there who don't care but most of the guys I've ever brought up the topic to, do seem to prefer the tradition. Also, I've been told by women who didn't take their husband's last name that that can also be a pain once you have kids. The kids generally get dad's last name so mom's last name doesn't match and it can cause administrative issues. But I can't speak about that angle from experience! Go with what feels right to you and your future husnandChristine
Pregnancy #1: lost to mc, 10/11
Amelia Joelle arrived on 11/28/13 at 7 pounds, 4 ounces of pure beauty. Couldn't be happier to finally be mommy!
June 8th, 2013 02:13 PM #20
I'd change mine. And I wouldn't ever join my name with future husband's- so much more hassle and confusion!
My reasons for why:
- I'm very traditional and taking husband's name has always been done in my family
- I'm not massively attached to my surname
- My identity doesn't depend on my surname
- I'd like to have the same surname as future husband and future children
- I don't need to keep my maiden name to feel close to my family
- People expect it- I'd still get called Mrs Smith even if I wanted to be Mrs Jones
- There are boys in my family to carry the name on
- I just want to!
June 8th, 2013 02:39 PM #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
I changed mine. His was more aesthetically and aurally pleasing, and I had little to no attachment to my own. I changed it for many of the reasons already listed - I wanted us to have the same name, etc.
♥Mama to Amelie Clara (2008) & Daisy Madeline (2013).
Lucy, Annabel, Rosalind, Ivy, Alice, Lilia, Rosabel, Victoria, Faye, Anastasia, Molly.
Charlie, Noah, Arthur, William, Dexter, Henry, Luca, Ethan, Samuel, Isaac, Finn.
June 8th, 2013 02:52 PM #24Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
We have no intention of getting married (been together for 20 years) but if we did I wouldn't take his name. Simply put, I see no reason to, for me there are no benefits. If he was willing to double barrel his as well I'd do that as our kids have both our names, but I wouldn't take his alone.Mum to Mousie, Foo, Bumptious and Pudding.