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June 6th, 2013 10:56 PM #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
I would not tell anyone close to me (other than my husband, obviously) ahead of time, no. BUT I do find it helpful to use potential names in places like Starbucks, where you have to give your name and they write it on your cup. If the Starbucks guy can't figure out what the heck I am saying after three repetitions, I don't consider it a usable first name. If you're pregnant, you may be able to strike up a conversation with strangers about names, too. They will be able to point out glaringly obvious problems without you actually being concerned about their opinions.
June 6th, 2013 10:58 PM #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
We have always shared first names, but I leave the middle a secret until birth. My DH is pretty influenced by what others say about names and telling people our name choices has backfired in the past for us because people have expressed displeasure with them and then DH gets cold feet (or finally lets his true feelings known...) about the name. This happened for the name Mirabelle ... we were all set with it and he said he liked it and when we told his parents and they said it was frilly and strange, he backed out. So, I can see the point of not wanting to share names if you may be the type to worry what others say.... however for me personally, I would rather my family be honest if they truly do not love a name up front rather than after she (haha we don't know how to have boys- so babies=she to me!) has the name and it's harder to change...or I'm more attached. Then again, if I'm truly in love and attached to a name, no one is talking me out of it.
The closest thing we came to not sharing was this past pregnancy. Everyone knew we were using the name Lucille because it was a name we had picked/agreed on for almost 2 years at that point! Twin B had no name though and we didn't share the name with (most of the) family for over a month. I mostly didn't want to share the name because DH was on the fence about it and it was a bit more of a bold name than some other names we'd been discussing... I could forsee his mom saying it was "weird" and him backing down from it and I really didn't want to lose this name! So, I used it as a tactic to get DH to get attached to it before we told people. About a month after we picked it, I was about 29 wks pregnant and we were hosting Thanksgiving. We decided to tell everyone the name started with a C -- and let them guess throughout the day. Then we announced the name over dinner. It was kind of fun and I really liked that we both got to fall in love with the name alone before sharing it. I think the mistake we made in the past (the Mirabelle issue comes to mind, but there have been others) is soliciting feedback too early before we were solid on the name ourselves.
So my short answer is that I DO like sharing names before birth, but I think you need to let the names stick with you a bit before you bring them up so you are ready to handle all comments (positive and negative ones).Wife to one great guy
Mama to six pretty ladies: Scarlett (13), Penelope (10) Alice (4), Fiona (4), Lucille (2) & Coraline (2)
& 4 angels gone before us: Christian (7 wks), Amos (6 wks), Naomi (16.5 wks), & Hosanna (6 wks)
~We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.~
June 7th, 2013 06:33 PM #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
I honestly don't know which way to lean in this situation. On one hand, it can be great to share/discuss the names ahead of time, to get some feedback, bounce ideas around, or even to "try out" a name first...see how it sounds to have relatives/friends say the name. But at the same time, I wouldn't want relatives jumping down my throat because they think a name i choose is weird, and I'd have to give it up or put up with the crap talk for a whole pregnancy.
For myself, personally, I think I would maybe toss out a few names here and there, but not announce the actual name until the birth (though I'm picturing it now, and it's rather amusing..probably all tired and just be like "this is ......"). I know that I could not get away with keeping it a total secret, but I wouldn't want it to be a situation where from the instant I'd find out the gender, everyone would know the name. I'd probably get tired of it.
My brother's twin sons will be born soon, and it is driving everyone crazy that they are not telling the names ahead of time. Especially my mother. She acts like it is such an insult that they wouldn't announce the names. Someone else wrote, complaining, on my brother's facebook about it, and my brother replied that it's hard to announce something that is not set in stone yet, but everyone would know soon enough. I'm fine not knowing their names. I already know they are boys, and they are being taken a month early, so there are alot of other worries right now, more important than trying to guess what the names are.
To each their own.Alyssa
Married since 06/2015...TTC 2016...hoping for a 2017 Miracle!
List under construction, as always
June 7th, 2013 06:48 PM #17
Everyone knows bub is a boy - but only a very very small handful of people know the name & that's the way it'll stay until he's born.Mummy of One (& a bit...)
-- Dominic Jameson: 3rd November 2013
-- #2: EDD 21st May 2017
Dom's future brother/s: Bennett, Bowen, Ciaran, Elijah, Elliott, Emmett, Finnegan, Grayson, Harrison, Quentin
Dom's future sister/s: Aveline, Aven, Calla, Eleanor, Helena, Iris, Noelle, Rosalie, Sadie, Wren
June 8th, 2013 12:52 PM #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
- SD, CA
We've shared our girl's name with family since it is a name that honors 2 family members. I particularly want my Grandma Ione to know that we want to name a daughter after her. In case we have a boy, she still knows that our plan had been to give a daughter her name.
My family also know that a boy will have a middle name, Sanders, after my deceased mom. We haven't shared Desmond with our family yet. Again, in case we have a girl, my family still knows that I would have honored my mother had the baby been a boy.
I guess that's the only reason family knows. I really don't need them to approve (although they whole heartedly love the choices), but I'd like them to know that we've put a lot of thought into honoring family. Plus, it makes them feel like they can connect more with the baby since the gender is a huge surprise to us all.Mama to Desmond Sanders