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  1. #116
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    758
    Quote Originally Posted by pinkballerina View Post
    Gender disappointment is a very real thing and a normal reaction. You are not disappointed you are having a son, rather mourning the daughter you thought you were having.

    There is such a taboo around this and it makes women who suffer it feel worse than they already do. There is no need for that.

    It does NOT mean you don't love your baby or make you any less of a mother and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You just need to get used to the idea.

    You need to get yourself excited about having a son. When you think of the wonderful things about daughters, imagine the ones you already have, and not missing the one you aren't carrying.

    If left untreated GD can turn into postnatal depression and you may end up resenting your son for it. Try to get used to the idea of a boy, and get excited about it, and if you don't, please speak to a doctor about it because those feelings most get worse when he arrives if you don't deal with them now.

    As for names, what are the names of some men who inspire you. Family, friends, books, movies? What Are their names? Think about that, and go from there.

    If its any consolation to you I too had a gender preference, I was convinced my daughter was a boy and after being sad for about 10 minutes about the son I would not be having, I got over it, and was thrilled to have a daughter. I too hope this baby is a boy but having mothered a daughter, I know all the fantastic qualities little girls have and how rewarding and fun raising a girl will be, so I'm not scared to have another girl. I will love my child regardless so having a slight preference does not make me less of a woman or parent.
    I totally agree. And I know, for a woman sometimes naming girls is so much more fun. I don't have a lot of boy names I like, and don't get as excited talking about boy's names as I do about girl's names. I hope to have more girls than boys, really.

    Cordelia and Gretchen are your daughter's names? There are so many nice names (interesting names too) that go well with these names:



    But for now, don't concentrate on the name. Mourn the daughter you won't be having, and get yourself used to and excited about having a son. You've had two girls, now a boy, and really that's kind of nice. I'd like to have 2 girls and 1 boy, really. And what strawberry_fields said about her son still giving her flowers? That's just darling. You can raise your son to be a gentleman that respects women, and that's such a great opportunity (because lets face it, we really need more guys who are "true gentleman" and don't get mad at a girl for rejecting them).

    Talk to a professional as well, and THEN after you've come to terms with your boy, look for names. And like pinkballerina suggested, look into male figures/heroes/characters that inspire you and your husband.
    Last edited by liviajoan; June 8th, 2013 at 06:44 PM.
    aurora- autumn- ashwyn- bambi- bernadette- calliope- emmalou- henriette- indigo- ione- january- lark- leela- llewellyn- lydia- marnie- molly- narnia- noelle- oralee- penelope- philomena- rain- raven- roxy- ruby- snow- tessa- thora- waverly- willow- winter- wren- zoe | abel- aesop- angus- banjo- bartholomew- bear- bruce- burkley- darwin- elliot- finn- flynn- foster- henry- indigo - knox - laszlo - lyle - navy - nemo - noah - otis - oakley - rainn - thatcher - thomas - thompson - titus - zen

  2. #118
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,708
    I'm not a mom, and won't be for quite some time, so I don't have as much experience as some other posters, nor do I know what your going through. But I still don't think it's right for anyone to judge or criticize you for how you feel. Your feelings are completely justifiable. I'm very sorry for what you're going through, both the disappointment and the health issues.

    I understand what you mean about boys' names feeling lackluster... I can make lists and lists of girls' names I love, but with boys - nothing ever stands out to me. The only boy name I truly LOVE is Desmond.

    I know you haven't had much luck finding room decor you like for boys, or clothes. There's a blog that I follow called Bluebird Vintage. It's run by a mom of four, 2 boys and 2 girls. She has a baby boy, Sailor, and she puts the links to all the places she bought his clothes/bedding/etc. I thought it might provide some inspiration for you: http://bleubirdvintage.typepad.com/

    Here are some other cute, non-typical boy clothes and such I found:

    Clothes
    http://www.shopminikin.com/bobo-chos...-multi-lemons/ (this is super expensive but the idea's cute!)

    http://joefresh.com/en/category/kids-baby-boy (although this is a Canadian store, I think there are only a few in the States - if that's where you are)

    http://www.etsy.com/shop/thiefandban...on_id=13259031

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/15298789...by+boy+clothes

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/12693745...by+boy+clothes

    http://www.bonlook.com/bleubird-vint...-collaboration

    Decor
    http://www.etsy.com/listing/15286455...by+boy+nursery

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/12215997...earch_type=all

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/11567432...by+boy+bedding

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/71231132...by+boy+bedding

    Sorry for so many links... Etsy is a really great resource for inspiration! Ditto Pinterest. I really like the previous suggestion of framing pages from children's books as decoration. You could also put wall decals on. Oh, and I thought this had some pretty cool ideas: http://cuffedforlife.tumblr.com/nursery

    I wish you the best of luck, and I sincerely hope that things improve for you soon.

  3. #120
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Newport, RI
    Posts
    151
    Quote Originally Posted by liviajoan View Post
    I totally agree. And I know, for a woman sometimes naming girls is so much more fun. I don't have a lot of boy names I like, and don't get as excited talking about boy's names as I do about girl's names. I hope to have more girls than boys, really.

    Cordelia and Gretchen are your daughter's names? There are so many nice names (interesting names too) that go well with these names:



    But for now, don't concentrate on the name. Mourn the daughter you won't be having, and get yourself used to and excited about having a son. You've had two girls, now a boy, and really that's kind of nice. I'd like to have 2 girls and 1 boy, really. And what strawberry_fields said about her son still giving her flowers? That's just darling. You can raise your son to be a gentleman that respects women, and that's such a great opportunity (because lets face it, we really need more guys who are "true gentleman" and don't get mad at a girl for rejecting them).

    Talk to a professional as well, and THEN after you've come to terms with your boy, look for names. And like pinkballerina suggested, look into male figures/heroes/characters that inspire you and your husband.

    I don't really have much time to get excited. I only have a few weeks to purchase everything and find a name, if that. I don't know how my health problems will impact my delivery, or if it will make me go early or if it won't affect anything at all. I've spoken to a professional and honestly, I left feeling worse (I had another appointment Friday and it really upset me). His position is that my cancer is no big deal, gender disappointment is no big deal, and everything will "work itself out". I'm of the opinion that things don't "work themselves out" unless you help yourself, which I'm trying to do.

    I can't really think of any male figures/heroes/characters that inspire us that we like the name of. I do like Thaddeus that you suggested, though. I have compiled a brief list, a few posts up. I don't know though. Some days I feel okay with those names and some days I hate them all.
    Mom to:

    Gretchen Sofia
    Cordelia Violet

    due July 2013

  4. #122
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Newport, RI
    Posts
    151
    @ bounceparty & strawberry_fields --- thanks for all the inspiration links!

    The girls have no clue I'm disappointed. They are 3 and 4 and the three year old already expressed great disappointment in not having a sister to play dress up with, so I would never say anything to encourage that thought process. My husband knows about my disappointment, but we don't discuss it. I'd rather them be excited than have to worry about me.
    Mom to:

    Gretchen Sofia
    Cordelia Violet

    due July 2013

  5. #124
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    718
    Just for the record I have a friend named Alaric who simply always goes by his full name. He openly despises the nn Ric and I have never once called him that, so just in case you decide you like that name more, don't be discouraged. It usually only takes a one-time correction for people to remember not to use it. About a year ago though (when i first heard it as an option that I adored) I did ask him how he felt about using Ari as a possible nn and he said he thought that would work well and be a much better choice. I'm sorry for how rough you've had it lately, and I wish you luck with everything. Congrats to you and your family, and at least take comfort in the fact that the pregnancy is almost over so hopefully your health and your mood both improve very soon. Everyone here is rooting for you. =]
    Dominic James~ (5)

    Gabriel : Jude : Ramsay : Roland

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