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Thread: Naming when you aren't into it?
June 5th, 2013 05:03 PM #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
- Newport, RI
I only have sisters, so the whole boy thing is a foreign concept to me. Raising the girls has been nonstop fun... dressing up and tea parties and ballet and princesses... I'm a very girly girl, so it just worked for me. With boys, I find the baby clothes unfortunate... the nursery decor boring (I mean, seriously, does EVERYTHING need a damn football on it?).... it's just all so blech to me. It's not cute in the least. So, shopping has been non-existent. I've been out shopping, truly I have, but I'm not into it. I tried the gender neutral route, but it's just not me either. I'm really trying to do something. I made myself purchase one baby item a few weeks ago. It ended up being a basic onesie that I stuffed into a closet. Side note: I never purchased a basic onesie for either of my girls, so it was just really... pathetic. Doing this all by force isn't working for me either. It definitely does not get me excited, it just makes me more miserable.
The boy baby names are just boring to me. Some are okay, but none really do it for me.
At this point, I wonder if maybe I shouldn't even worry about shopping or naming. Trying to convince myself to do it seems to have the opposing effect.Mom to:
due July 2013
June 5th, 2013 05:22 PM #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- London, England
I'm sorry to say this, but it sounds like you're digging yourself into a hole. A boy nursery doesn't have to be macho. You can choose wallpaper with little animals on them, or stars or fairytale creatures, or you can go pink if that's what you want to. Clothes, I'll admit, are a bit boring. It's more of a challenge finding cute boy clothes. As for what he'll be like, that you can't know. My brother loved ballet and dressing up and playing fairies as a child, he had two older sisters and a father who's not very macho. It has a lot to do with what you and your partner are like.My darling Marian Illyria Aphrodite, March 2013 & Little Bunny (a girl!) due 9th of February 2014
June 5th, 2013 05:26 PM #10Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
I have a son and before we found out he was a boy I really thought he was a girl. Probably because we'd be talking a lot about girl names. Anyway, I was surprised to find out he was a boy and it did take some time to get used to the idea.
A few suggestions/Thoughts for you-
1) Yes, boys are different than girls. But don't let what is in the store make you feel like boy decor has to be boring. Do a Monet themed nursery, or Lord of The Rings, or heck, Gone With The Wind. It doesn't have to be footballs. Does your husband have hobbies or a favorite book? Maybe use that as a starting point? Cruise around Pinterest for awhile. There are lots of neat boy ideas out there- but they might not be in the store.
2) Your son will only be a baby for a little while but you will always be his mother. So I applaud you for seeing a therapist. Whatever you need to do to get yourself ready to love your son is what you need to do. Maybe it's just fear of the unknown of raising a boy that is clouding your emotions right now? Whatever it is I hope you can get past this stage and be excited to be his mother.
June 5th, 2013 05:32 PM #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
I'm with @ottilie. I've experienced GD but nothing as severe as this.
It may sound harsh, but this is coming from another parent who has suffered GD and I say this as kindly and as gently as possible but perhaps you should have thought about TTC a little longer if you are that absolutely strongly opposed to a son. I admit to wanting a son rather than a daughter, but I knew I could love and be excited for a girl just as I could a boy, which was why we went ahead and TTC. Its 50/50.
You can do a gender neutral nursery. Cream walls with baby blue and light grey accessories. Bonus point for being versatile and easy to change if you ever have another daughter.
As for clothes, I would say yes, there is less selection. But if you find them all boring then perhaps you are looking in the wrong shops. Have you looked on the Pumpkin Patch (link here) website? I buy most of my DD's clothes here but constantly find myself wandering into the boy section and oooohing and aaahing at the beautiful boy clothes. Nothing cuter than a little baby boy wearing a pair of dungarees imo!
Boys can love ballet and dressing up just as much as girls.
It seems your issue here is gender stereotyping than gender disappointment..You'd never know, your daughters might wake up tomorrow and decided they hate all things pink and decided to roll around in mud for the rest of their childhood.
I'm an extremely feminine woman who would identify as being typically girly-girl but I still would love a son so I don't think that really comes into it.
Your son could grow up to be just like your daughters, you get no guarantees with children.
♥Mama to Amelie Clara (2008) & Daisy Madeline (2013).
Lucy, Ivy, Maya, Rosabel, Victoria, Alice, Molly, Juliet, Annabel, Sofia.
Charlie, Arthur, William, Isaac, Noah, Finn, Vincent, Alexander, Zachary, Oscar.
June 5th, 2013 06:00 PM #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
He won't be a baby forever. Tea parties and adorable pink dresses don't last that long, and gender isn't the most defining thing.
But I bet your girls are going to have tons of fun dressing him up like a pet and inviting him to their girly teas.
Cordelia, Gretchen, and...
Valentine (naming a boy Valentine could really soften the blow) or Valentin
Eglamour (come on. this can be fun.)
Harold ("Harold and the Purple Crayon" is a classic)
Julius (for July)