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June 3rd, 2013 12:54 PM #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- May 2013
- North Carolina
What did you want to achieve before you started a family?
This could be practical things or just fun things that you wanted to do before having kids. Did you want to get married first? Buy a house? Save up X amount of money? Go to Europe? Did your goals change at all before you had kids (maybe you set some that turned out to be unrealistic?), or did you achieve them all? Whatever your experiences, share them here!
The only ones I have are get married and buy a house. We are getting married in October so that's one down, one to go. I have no idea as to the financial aspect of buying a house (so any tips on this would be welcome!!) so I have no idea how long that will take, but hopefully not more than 5 years. I am 22 right now and hope to be able to start having kids around 25. I think maybe we should add save up a few thousand dollars as well before having kids. I know hospital bills are expensive, and so are kids.
Last edited by dcterry; June 3rd, 2013 at 12:57 PM.Current faves:
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June 3rd, 2013 01:10 PM #3
I wanted a few things before kids:
-buy a house
-finish school/choose a career path
So far all I have done on this list is the married part.. and we decided to try for our first anyways! I have one more year of school (which I can finish with or without a child present, so that wasn't an issue). We can wait a little longer for a house. We can travel with a child, etc. Apparently everything changed for us once we got married lol.Shannon, recently married my BFF and TTC our first <3
June 3rd, 2013 01:31 PM #5
I wanted to be atleast 25, married for a few years and have no debt. I'll be 25 in a few months, we've been married three years and we finished paying our student loan debt at the beginning of the year and have no credit card debt so i'm comfortable trying.
I used to think i'd want x number in our savings and x in our retirment, etc until I realized that no matter how much we had i'd never think it was enough.Due 2/2/15
June 3rd, 2013 02:02 PM #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
My child was a surprise, so any plans I had for kids - or "no kids until XYZ" - went out the window.
I never had serious goals like "spend 5 years in a career" or "be married" or "own a home" before having children, though. I planned on trying to have a baby while I was still renting, possibly still in graduate school, and likely unmarried. It was important to be financially stable in the sense of being able to pay for rent and basic needs, not that I had a specific salary or savings goal in mind. I also was told I had a very low chance of conceiving and carrying a healthy pregnancy, so I figured if I started trying at 25 or 26, it would be unlikely I'd have a child within the first year or two, if at all. Adopting was a major consideration, so basically at the point in which I'd be stable and well-off enough to qualify for adoption.
The pre-baby bucket list was filled with pretty selfish things...like traveling to Europe on a whim with no plan, getting my motorcycle license, doing more recreational drugs, seeing certain non-child-friendly concerts/shows/festivals, and volunteering in an underdeveloped country or living on a co-op.
I don't regret getting pregnant and that most of those things might not ever happen. I don't need to ride a motorcycle, and I REALLY don't need to do more drugs, and I can go to Europe with an actual plan and sense of safety and not be a homeless vagabond ex-pat. I do wish I finished undergrad first. I'm halfway done. I'm planning on finishing ASAP, but it's going to be hard with a baby.
Although money will be tight, and I may have to move around more than is ideal with a small child, I'll still be able to provide him or her with a stable home and family - something many older, married, home-owning, career-driven parents fail to do.Lillian Elizabeth 6.16.13
June 3rd, 2013 04:13 PM #9
I wanted to be married (check) and be finished with residency (fail). I had already lived in multiple countries and travelled everywhere, had studied what I wanted and had a million adventures, before I ever met anyone I wanted to think about having children with. I'll be 39 before finishing all of my training so it wasn't realistic to wait until then, anyway.
We own a house, have a nice income, have retirement accounts and investments, have savings, etc. It's nice but that's all gravy, IMO.Blade, MD
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