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Thread: Baby Blues

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    816

    Baby Blues

    I just wanted to see how everyone who ISN'T ready to have kids yet copes with baby blues! My husband and I got married pretty young and aren't ready for babies quite yet. We would love to travel and perhaps even settle down abroad. Although I keep telling myself all of these things I can't help but be sad every month when... No baby! I have such conflicting thoughts! One minute I'm fine with not having kids for a few more years. And the next minute I am torn apart and want a baby more than anything! I've told myself were young and should wait! We have so much to do first! But for some reason it's still so hard. We're married... We both love kids... Why not! But then again we don't have a house to raise them in and aren't settled yet! If it happened we would be extatic. Name hunting probably doesnt help but i cant keep away But how can I cope with these baby blues?!

  2. #3
    Someone on the TTC thread suggested a pre-baby bucket list! Basically just a list of things that you and DH will do before that baby comes along and makes everything more difficult and more expensive (babies are a wonderful blessing but this is just reality). Think about really fun things (trip to Europe, sex on the beach) and really practical things (have 5K in a savings account, promotion, apartment with an elevator or on the bottom floor so you don't have to carry a baby and groceries up a bunch of stairs). Make an actual list and start planning each month what to cross off. I don't know if it will help, but best case scenario- it may help you feel like you are doing things toward establishing yourselves and having those wonderful life experiences that bring romance and life to your marriage to ground it for the years to come. Worst case scenario you have sex on the beach and tour Italy all the while wishing there was a (crying) baby (that needed to be put to bed by seven and only falls asleep when you rock him) there to enhance the fun .
    Mama to little Ramona Mae 3/2011 and Sylvie Joy born 11/2013

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,962
    I love the idea of a pre-baby bucket list! I never really wanted kids until I suddenly got the urge 2 years ago & immediately got pregnant with my daughter so it's hard for me to relate to that feeling...but now I have the baby blues for baby #2 which we are not quite ready to start trying for...so I think if it's really bad a break from Nameberry would be a good step. Maybe focus on blogs/message boards that feature other interests. Also you could volunteer somewhere that involves kids or babysit for a friend. I also think pets are great practice! Having a dog for years before having a baby helped me grow used to considering another being when I wanted to go somewhere, vacations, ect. Plus you get the fun aspects or kid-having like going to the park, meeting other (dog) parents, naming him/her, taking a zillion photos and if you're me, incorporating your dog's name into the lyrics of every song that comes up on your shuffle! Plus we did stuff like dog Halloween costume contests & classes through the shelter that we adopted out little mutt from.

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,594
    I've just had two friends announce their pregnancies on facebook over the past couple of days. I'm happy for them, but sad for me. We've only been trying for a couple of months, but it's still hard to see others celebrating their pregnancies. I'm definitely ready to have a baby. My husband and I own our own house and have travelled plenty for now. We're ready to begin the next stage of our lives as parents, but it's hard when it doesn't happen immediately. I feel like I'm in limbo until I get pregnant. Oh well, I guess we better try hard next month!

    @Taz - I agree, getting a dog is great practice! For one thing, it gets you used to being responsible for something that's reliant on you for everything. Also, I incorporate my dog's name into the lyrics of every song, too! LOL
    Audrey - Beatrice - Clara - Daphne - Flora - Jane - Mabel - Susannah

    Arthur - Barnaby - Edward - Frederick - Henry - Rupert - Theodore - Walter

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,962
    haha @sarahmezz I'm glad I'm not the only one! I do think that being a dog owner got me involved with my community pre-baby, which is part of the fun part of being a parent, you get more involved in the world outside of your relationship, apt, group of friends, ect.

    As a parent, I will say, embrace the little things now. Go and get your nails done, walk to the park with your book, have a moment of solitude, take an extra long shower, make out with your husband. It all changes!

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