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  1. #31
    I think Ashley is great for a boy and much better than Ashton, which is used by girls a lot, too.

  2. #33
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Xi'An, China
    Posts
    2,696
    Quote Originally Posted by nat108 View Post
    Figlio states:

    It is not the child nor the name, it is the teachers and administrators. Adults are the problem.
    If a teacher is telling straight A Arabella that she should go into fashion design while Jane is encouraged to major in biology, then Arabella's parents need to call out that teacher. If Ashley is getting detention for frivolous things while Andrew is getting a pass for the same behavior, then Ashley's parents need to march down to the school and demand answers. Whether it be name, skin color, SES, or whatever else Figlio says that parents have to step up and not let anyone mistreat their child.
    Yes, if you want to say that it's the fault of the teachers, administrators, employers, peers, and the rest of society... then yes. But that's what it means to go against a social taboo. I remember when my brother's (highly masculine) name became a feminine choice. Many classmates had little sisters with his name. No one knew my brother's name, but I (at 8) was able to put together that something was awry. Once, during a fight I started teasing him mercilessly... only to find out it was a sore spot. He was in middle school, and EVERYONE was making fun of him. My parents did try to tell him it was a good name and such... In high school, he almost overcompensated by participating in every masculine sport... However, some boys did enter his name into the competition for prom queen (which he won, until he was disqualified for being a man). Is he a socially well-adjusted man? Yes... He's cool, confident, and mature... However, when he named his 3 kids, he chose names that were common, and easily distinguishable in gender. Why? He said he didn't want his boys to be prom queen or his daughter to be prom king.

    People should give their children a name that they like... However, if you know that the name you like is associated with another gender, SES, etc. you should anticipate potential future problems. Simply saying "It's the problem of xxxx" does nothing... you chose the name knowing full well that it could cause the child issues. So essentially you set your child up to have to be rescued... And while you can teach your child to be confident and what be it, blind resumes, job interviews, career fairs, etc. can be a bit unpleasant when you have an "inappropriate" name...

    My idea: Import a foreign name or use a name that is meaningful to you or your family in order to be "unique". If you do name your son Ashley, know and weigh ALL the ramifications. Realize you're doing something not 100% socially acceptable (in the US), and that there could be issues in the future. Be willing to put out the time and effort necessary for dealing with these problems. Also, if your son is angry about it in the future, "the buck stops here"... don't blame society, administrators, teachers, etc... After all, they just reacted to the name in the same way you could've predicted.
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  3. #35
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    589
    I like Ashley, and love the nickname Ash. Prefer it on a boy than a girl.
    Mother to two lovely kiddos, Mila Arden and Cato Bennett

    Currently dreaming of...
    Atlas, Callahan, Caius, Ezra, Bram, Atticus, Aspen, Sylvan, Constantine, Perrin & Pascoe
    Lyra, Elodie, Elowen, Isis, Artemis, Sylvia, Vesper, Anouk, Willa, Cassia, Elka & Sage

  4. #37
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    589
    Quote Originally Posted by tfzolghadr View Post
    Yes, if you want to say that it's the fault of the teachers, administrators, employers, peers, and the rest of society... then yes. But that's what it means to go against a social taboo.
    People used to say that about inter-racial marriage too. It's not always right to just follow the status quo, simply because others do.
    Mother to two lovely kiddos, Mila Arden and Cato Bennett

    Currently dreaming of...
    Atlas, Callahan, Caius, Ezra, Bram, Atticus, Aspen, Sylvan, Constantine, Perrin & Pascoe
    Lyra, Elodie, Elowen, Isis, Artemis, Sylvia, Vesper, Anouk, Willa, Cassia, Elka & Sage

  5. #39
    I've only known one male Ashley. He's about 30 and loves his name. If you were super concerned about it you could use Asher Lee and call him Ashley as a nickname.

    It is much more common for girls but I think Gone With the Wind keeps people from forgetting that it was a boy's name.

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