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  1. #81
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    639
    @cvdutch31 - As a first timer myself, I know it is a hard adjustment to start gaining weight, especially if you're not used to it, but at least we have an excuse right? ;-) And I hope you don't feel too bad when you hear others aren't showing, some just have certain body types that hide it better I think. People say I'm not showing but I am tall so the baby has more room to grow up before it grows out, plus I am definitely not flat stomached like I used to be, but I can certainly tell I'm thicker around the middle and the little fat layer that used to be tucked in, is pushing out so I just look soft around the middle so most people just see it as normal, since a little pudge isn't always noticeable to most. I've started wearing the next size up in shorts and I ditched to jeans pretty early b/c the tightness is uncomfortable and makes me feel fat as I gain the extra lbs. Don't feel bad for jumping into those maternity pants, I was eager to start wearing them just because they are so darn comfortable. And thanks so much for responding to my question, I really appreciate the empathy. :-)

    @rollo- The relationship problems with my mom are chronic and have a deep history. So far I have not been effective in communicating with my mom so that we don't clash, if I knew the best way, I wouldn't have so many problems with her. Even when I do communicate effectively, she does not listen. She is often too busy formulating her response to even absorb what I say, much less remember it and think about it. Another problem is that an "honest relationship" is not always possible with her because first, she is extremely, extremely sensitive to comments and criticisms and second, because she is so incredibly judgmental, I find myself holding back information because I dread and can predict her response with surprising accuracy. Her unsupportive responses often communicate to me that she does not trust or respect my competency, judgment, intelligence etc which just boils my blood. She often jumps to conclusions and does not refrain from judgement about something even if she really has no knowledge about it. I just want her to be supportive even if she doesn't agree and to have an open mind, but I don't know if that's possible. I'm hoping to find the best way to talk about the subject and educate her before she is able to jump to too many conclusions and to mitigate the brunt of her negative reaction as much as possible, I have yet to come up with the best strategy.
    DD: Maria Julietta Grace - Dec 2013

    Mona Maeve/Maeva Cordelia nn Dolly Magdalena Adelaide Geneva Fiona Flora Ramona Rose Katerina Juliet Aoife Odessa Sylvie Vera Guinevere Vivienne Marina Claire Eva/Ava Augusta Agatha Evelina Lavinia Alouetta

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  2. #83
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    9,659
    Quote Originally Posted by amandaberry View Post

    @rollo- The relationship problems with my mom are chronic ...she does not listen..... she is extremely, extremely sensitive ...she is so incredibly judgmental, .... she does not trust or respect my competency, judgment, intelligence etc ....I just want her to be supportive I'm hoping to find the best way to talk about the subject and educate her
    I hear your pain amandaberry and your anxiety in regard to her response when she finds out that it will be a home birth.

    So, my advice is tell your mother about the home birth, expect to hear a negative narrative but let it roll off your shoulders.

    Accept that she is never going to be the supportive mother you want her to be.

    rollo
    Last edited by rollo; June 13th, 2013 at 05:41 PM.

  3. #85
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    4,514
    This is a relatively common problem so hopefully it can help others...

    I had to stop taking my prenatal vitamins around 10 days ago as I simply could not deal with the constipation. Increasing progesterone + iron supplementation was a recipe for disaster. I tried nursing things along with a few tabs of docusate simultaneously but it didn't work.

    At this point, the folate is superfluous (neural tube long since formed and closed), I don't yet need the calcium, but I do need the iron. Argh. I haven't resumed the vitamins but would like to take them at least intermittently. Any advice?
    Blade, MD

    XY: Antoine Raphael
    XX: Cassia Viviane Noor

    Aquila * Chrysanthe * Emmanuelle * Endellion * Ione * Jacinda * Lysandra * Melisande * Mireia * Petra * Rosamond * Seraphine * Silvana * Theophane / Blaise * Cyprian * Darius * Evander * Giles * Laurence * Lionel * Malcolm * Marius * Peregrine * Rainier

    كنوز الصحراء الشرقية Hayat _ Qamar _ Sahar _ Amal _ Hanan / Altair _ Fahd _ Ilyas _ Sajjad _ Saqr _ Tariq

  4. #87
    Blade,
    I hear ya girl! I am so sick of the constipation! My Doc said I could try just taking the prenatal every other day and also he pointed out if I am good at getting in the iron I need via foods like spinach (which I love) I should be fine. My good friend told me she stopped the prenatal and went with a good ole flintstone's children's vitamin instead and it helped a ton and she still had good iron levels. I also picked up a bag of prunes and they really aren't too bad! I try and eat like 3-4 of them in the am with breakfast.
    Momma to:

    Oakley Adam
    Aspen Elizabeth
    Brecken Charlie


    Expecting another boy October 8, 2013

  5. #89
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Currently on the west side of the U.S.
    Posts
    417
    @blade: Activia yogurt! I didn't really think it would do anything but I eat one cup a day and it seriously makes a huge difference.

    @amandaberry: wow, reading your comments about your mom really struck a chord with me. Mine is SO similar. The icing on the cake right now? I live with her (in a very small house)!!!! So there's NO escaping it for me! We're living with them temporarily while recovering from financial catastrophe - and I completely realize it's her home, she's very, very kind to let us stay there - but that doesn't lessen the stress she puts on me and the damage she does. My hubby and I have been in couple's counseling for about a year now and tho we began to deal with some communication issues we were having between us, for the last few months we basically spend every session discussing my parents and figuring out how to deal with them. It's turned out to be a blessing in disguise that we live with them - because now my hubby fully, 100% understands so many more of my issues now that he's seen where they come from. He's been amazing and it has changed everything for me just to know he really gets it. My mom has a big heart and will give her kids the shirt off her back - but she's also incredibly self-centered, immature, self-fish and just plain bratty. It's literally exhausting to live with. I just picked up a book called Toxic Parents, hoping it has some helpful advice as well. I'm also appreciating the fact that I now have been given a painfully clear reminder of all the things I don't want to do to my own kids. So I try to focus on the positive!

    Anyway, if you want to chat about moms, feel free to private message me anytime. I'm happy to listen (well, read!) anytime and offer any advice if I can. I can *always* sympathize! And thank you for the kind words about the weight thing - I was really hoping I'd just be so happy to be pregnant that the weight wouldn't bother me. I dealt with an eating disorder in my early 20's and I'm desperately hoping this doesn't trigger a recurrence.
    Last edited by cvdutch31; June 11th, 2013 at 03:41 PM.
    Christine

    Pregnancy #1: lost to mc, 10/11

    Amelia Joelle arrived on 11/28/13 at 7 pounds, 4 ounces of pure beauty. Couldn't be happier to finally be mommy!

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