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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,823
    Quote Originally Posted by ottilie View Post
    I'm quite a new mum, so I don't really consider myself a SAHM yet, but I think I will become one. I've got to master degrees, one in academics and one in fine arts. My plan is to stay at home until my last child goes off to school, but being an artist (or rather, having my toe in the artistic pool) means I can work from home with design and illustrations. My fiance is also working at home, so I'm planning on going back to teach yoga a few times a week in a while, but I would not consider myself a working mum if I had a couple of classes a week.

    I think it's right to be a SAHM (or SAHD) if that's what's right for you. No one should make that decision for you, and if you don't want to you shouldn't. I don't want to send my child to nursery until she can talk properly (I want to know what's going on!) and I don't want to her to have full days before she's ready for school. That's why I want to stay at home. But we have the money to do that, I understand this is not an option for everyone. I also understand that not everyone wish to stay at home, not everyone's suited to be at home. And I kind of disagree with your boyfriend, I think having a degree is wonderful if you're a SAHM. A university education has a lot of value, not just the degree, but you learn to think in a different way, to be independent and lots of other things I think is important to be a good mother.
    as for the part about being a yoga teacher, I think that's a great amount of work for a SAHM! I'm a dance teacher (so basically the same idea) and my hypothetical plan would be to teach one or two nights a week.
    Anastasia, Tessa, Marina, Stella
    Connor, Rhett, Corbin, Grayson

  2. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    931
    I have a Master's and work in a field that is in pretty high demand. I love my job, but I would definitely prefer to work part time after I have children. Honestly, I love what I do so much, (and I truly feel it is my calling,) that I wouldn't feel right about not working at all. But that's just me. Maybe I will feel differently when I finally get to hold my baby in my arms!

    Women today, who have the intellectual and practical ability, need to get an education to be able to support themselves. You never know what life will throw at you. The part that sucks, especially if you don't end up using that education for an extended period of time, is that the cost of higher education is ASTRONOMICAL. So I can totally understand how a family just couldn't justify having mom or dad stay home when they could be working to pay off the student loans that they took out to get the education to do the job... that they're not doing. I actually know two families who are struggling with this exact problem right now. It's an ugly catch-22. It's basically where my hubby and I are right now; and I'm just thinking about going part-time.

    There is no good answer! And each family/situation is different. I think the key is to be open-minded about other people's situations.
    One Beloved Son - Raphael David
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  3. #20
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Spain
    Posts
    2,008
    I just finished my second degree, and I've always wanted to be a SAHM. My parents definitely felt very strongly that I get an education so I will be able to support myself, but luckily they let me do this on my own time (I took a year and a half off after high school, and they never pressured me in to having a timeline before going to university). My dad is very much of the mentality of, "Be an independent woman, you don't need a man. Go travel, go have fun, go have a career you love." which is nice, and my mom was a SAHM while I was growing up and I really appreciated this, and that my dad's job allowed for her to stay home.

    Because my mom stayed at home when I was a kid, I honestly couldn't imagine sending my kids to daycare or to a babysitter. I'd do it if I had to, but it's not really my ideal situation. I'd definitely like to stay home until the youngest child is in school all day. Thing is, with the cost of living comfortably, it doesn't always allow for families to be single-income.

    I have two degrees for things I really love. I love one more than the other, though... but I'd love to put either in to practice. Or both, ideally.

    It is WAY WAY easier to go to college before having kids, you're right. There were two women in my section this year with young children and I have absolutely no idea how they managed. It's doable to go back to school as a parent, but I think it'd be hard. Plus, degree requirements are changing all the time, so sometimes it's a matter of "Do it now before everything changes."

    I truly don't believe that going to post-secondary and then being a SAHM is pointless. I totally agree with you- you're improving yourself, studying something you're interested in, continuously learning, being social, learning/ refining life skills (organization, time management, resourcefulness)... this doesn't seem like a waste of time at all.
    Lucia
    Eleanora, Iris, Maeve, Sela
    Balthazar, Bastian, Caius, Gideon

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    968
    I didn't have time to read everyone's responses, but I am a SAHM with a degree. I got a B.S. in biology. I always knew that when I had kids, I would be a SAHM while they were young, then pursue a career after they got into school. So getting an education was a no brainer. I needed a degree for work before kids, and I'll need a degree for after kids. It just makes sense to get an education while you're still somewhat free. Plus, I loved my college experience. It was amazing, and if I hadn't gone to college, I never would have met my husband. I have had a couple people that were surprised that I was a SAHM with a degree. Apparently, if a woman is a SAHM, it's because she didn't get an education in some people's eyes. It kinda irritates me. I am happy with my decision though. I've even considered staying home longer and home schooling. We'll just have to see :-)
    Wife to Jordan.
    Mommy to Everett Callan, born 2010 and Callie Sage Eilonwy, born 2013
    and 2 fur babies: a male standard poodle named Shasta, and a female Australian shepherd named Scout.

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  5. #24
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    1,349
    I have a college degree from a top 20-university that wasn't cheap for my parents. I taught for a little over 3 years and have been home with my kiddos for the last 11 years. I am a much better mom because of my college degree. Knowing how to interpret text, reason logically, write and speak clearly are important skills even if I am not financially compensated for them. Additionally, my experience teaching has helped me work with my kids' teachers and I am able to supplement my kids education with confidence. Also, if something were to happen to my husband (death, disability, job loss, etc) I'm sure having my college degree would be a life saver. Finally, if I had been unable to have children I would have remained in the work force and of course a college degree would have been essential.
    Last edited by lo; May 15th, 2013 at 11:28 PM.
    Mom to Paul, Clare, Mark, Katharine, James, and Andrew
    Future girl: Grace or Lucy
    Future boy: Peter Gregory

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