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Thread: Hope

  1. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    491
    I had two early miscarriages, (6 weeks and 10 weeks) and went on to carry a healthy pregnancy (I conceived, on BC, after my second miscarriage, the first cycle, I didn't even have a period in between). I was diagnosed with endometriosis about two years ago.

    I think this pregnancy I was nervous and somewhat in denial (or at least trying not to get my hopes up) until like 25 weeks. I know of women who have had many more miscarriages than I did before carrying a pregnancy to term. Miscarriages are incredibly (tragically) common. Three in a row certainly does not mean you won't be able to have a healthy pregnancy, but you may want to see a doctor to either find some answers or be reassured nothing is wrong.
    Lillian Elizabeth 6.16.13

  2. #8
    Niteowl, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine. I did want to share a friend's story because it is amazing and also because it has been hugely encouraging to so many other people I know who have experienced miscarriage (including me). She had a serious accident in her early 20's which was later found out to have compromised her ability to carry a babe to term.
    She carried her first pregnancy to 21 weeks. Her little boy was stillborn. He has a name and a grave.
    This pregnancy was followed by 2 late first trimester/early second trimester miscarriages (13 and 15 weeks I believe).
    Then she conceived her son, he is 6. The pregnancy was healthy and uncomplicated (no early labor scares, no bedrest or the like), though she was considered high risk and did have a scheduled c-section. She was around 36.
    They started trying again when he was around 18 months old.
    She had 3 more miscarriages, also late first trimester/early second trimester over the course of 18 months. (Bringing the total to 6)
    Then she conceived her daughter, now 3, the pregnancy was just like the one for her son. She was 37 and was planning on being done.
    Then, she quite unexpectedly got pregnant again, and has a healthy 8 month old! She was 41 at the birth! She then, after everything they had been through, unceremoniously sent her husband to get snipped

    What I take away from this story is there is hope even when there feels like no reason to hope. There is joy on the other side of crushing sorrow. Don't give up.
    Mama to little Ramona Mae 3/2011 and Sylvie Joy born 11/2013

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    SD, CA
    Posts
    360
    I am so sorry niteowl13. @blade and @tarynkay brought up such good points. Don't look at going to an RE or an IVF clinic as some sort of defeat. Modern reproductive medicine has come very far, and you owe it to yourself to put your body and health into the hands of a skilled fertility expert to figure out what is happening. I would not attempt another pregnancy before getting some testing done. Like @blade said, it could be as simple as a common clotting issue that can be treated with aspirin. It could be a simple thyroid condition. It could be that the landscape of your uterus and some imaging may offer some clues.

    When you are feeling hopeless, you need to start reminding yourself about what is going right. You DID get pregnant 3 times. That is a huge step. It sounds like you are ovulating regularly. Yet another huge plus for you. I don't know the details of your situation, but I bet there are many other encouraging factors regarding your menstrual cycle and your health that you can focus on.

    I wouldn't wait a lot longer. 37 is not old, but you also don't have the luxury of waiting around several more years. I promise you that if you are able to get testing done, you will feel empowered by getting the results. It's so much easier to tackle an issue when you actually know what the issue is.

    The final point, the most important point, that I'd like to make is this: You will get your baby. Your baby will find you. You will become a mother. I truly believe that if you want to be a mother, you will find a way to become a mother. It's not always as easy as rolling around in the sheets, but that is why we have modern medicine.

    I am sorry you had to go through another miscarriage. That is a terrible heartache. I am sending you cyber hugs. Things will get better, though.
    Mama to
    Desmond Sanders, born 7/2013
    and dog son, Lambeau

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    928
    I'm so sorry for your losses. I can't imagine. I don't have much else to add, except you will be in my prayers. Try not to lose that hope! It can be the one thing that holds us together when we're about to fall apart.
    One Beloved Son - Raphael David
    Saved for Later:
    Rosemary, Phaedra, Lorena, Georgia, Theodora
    Ignatius, Lionel, Thaddeus, Laszlo, Caspian

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    2,685
    I'm so sorry Niteowl.
    My aunt had six miscarriages before she had her two sons at the age of 36 and 38! I don't know how she found the strength to go through that. She said that once she'd given birth to the first, her body knew how to do it again.
    Take good care. Sending a hug to you.

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