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Thread: Difficult parents, need advice
May 10th, 2013 01:16 PM #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
Difficult parents, need advice
One of my oldest and dearest friends is expecting her first child, a girl, at the end of July. She and her husband have eventually decided on the name Eva Melanie, which I think's gorgeous, but now they've told it to their parents they've hit a couple of problems.
Melanie is a combination name to honour her husband's parents, Melvin and Anne, both of whom are sadly likely not to be around for many more years due to health problems. They've decided to honour them both in their first child's name as there's no guarantee they'll meet any subsequent grandchildren, and they mean a lot to my friend's husband, who is their only child. But my friend's mother is up in arms about this, wanting to know why her side of the family is being left out of this child's name, and insisting that they change the middle name.
Eva was a name my friend actually chose. I don't mean it disrespectfully when I say her husband is the type of guy to look at the top ten list and pick his favourite without considering anything else. My friend wanted something a little more different, familiar but not everywhere. So she came up with Eva a couple of months ago, thinking he might go for it as it's close to two really popular names, Evie and Ava. My friend loves it and so does he. But her mother absolutely hates it as well, and is trying to push other names onto her that she's just really not into at all.
My friend and her mother have always had a strained relationship. Her father she gets on with fine, but her mother is just such a difficult person to get along with. I never have, and I've been visiting their house since my early teens. My friend is the youngest of three siblings and the last one to have children, and her mother has been very opinionated on her other grandchildren's names as well. I'm pretty sure she favourites the grandchild with the name that she actually likes over the rest. They're not even awful names either - Aaron, Tia, Lewis, Jack and Jessica - but the only one she actually likes is Jack.
I really don't know what to advise her to do. She's spoken to her siblings about it and it seems that she's got it the worst from their mother, though I think that's in part due to the middle name. But her mother just won't give up, and is bad-mouthing my friend and her husband in public about their name choice as well. I feel bad that I've got through my first pregnancy and a good portion of my second with no naming issues from either set of grandparent, and she's having her longed-for first child and is having to deal with all this hatred towards the name that's been chosen.My two bundles of love, Dominic Joseph and Tabitha Faye