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Thread: And another name remorse.
May 9th, 2013 01:15 AM #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
And another name remorse.
My boy will be 12 months soon and every day I cringe with his name. He has a sister who's name I love so this has been quite an awful thing to be dealing with.
I had a very anxious pregnancy filled with doubt, indecisiveness and worry over so many big and small decisions. I also had a husband stressing over boys names as much as I was. This with our silly restrictions on names left us with a small narrow selection. Looking back we made so many mistakes and crossed off so many great names
So with all this anxiety we narrowed our choices down to 3, then 2. Then a week before birth I didn't like any of them anymore but my husband was convinced they were great names and to stick with it. They were Roman and Anton, names I had picked. The 3rd that we eliminated was Lucas as we felt was too popular (along with all the Luke's and Luca's) and that was a name he originally picked. Looking back his list was so much better than mine. Damn hormones.
When he was born, intuitively neither name was right but I just was so grappled with the decision making I caved. He definitely wasn't a Roman, so I guess he was an Anton. But I felt so sad. I was not excited to say his name. I was living with these names in my head for so long and out comes a perfect little being, who deserved a whole lot better. My husband wanted to call him Anton and I thought it was just my anxiety and indecisiveness so I went with it. Big mistake.
Get home from hospital and told my husband 2 nights later I didn't like the name anymore, he got mad, said we are not changing it and its a good name. I have been so miserable since. Thought it would grow on me, suit him but it hasn't. I think Lucas would have been a better fit, but wonder if I would have regretted that too since its so popular. I think there may have been some regret, but nothing compared to what I have experienced this past year. I really think a common name would have suited him much better. Alexander was a name I have always loved but was ruled out as it was "too long". Anyway, I think out of all the names Lucas would have suited him best. It just keeps coming up. Funnily Roman has not, not even once. We are English so no heritage link to any of these names.
I dont know what to do, I cringe when I hear people use his name. There are no good NN I like, his middle name I don't like either. I left that decision early on to my husband as I didn't think it was important as I planned to call him by his first name. Deciding on one name was enough of a challenge! So most of the time I call him baby NN's like pooch or pumpkin.
Do I keep pushing to change? (I have been pushing all year) Do I just keep trying to make peace with it with a heavy heart? Call him Pooch for the rest of my life?
May 9th, 2013 08:22 AM #3
Wow, that's a long time to really dislike his name. I don't think Pooch will be a great nickname to use once he gets a bit older, so you may want to pick a new one like Ace or something just a tad more manly. I think next time that you should be more aggressive in getting your pick since essentially in the end your husband named your son.
That being said, I feel you. When Gemma was born she didn't really look like either choice. Or any of the other top ten (or so) that I loved throughout my pregnancy. I went with the name I favored the longest. But for weeks I kept looking at her like "What is your name lady?!" Tried calling her different things and stared at her face trying to will the universe to hand me her "true" name. No avail. At some point in the last few days Gemma finally started to suit her. I guess she made it hers. It wasn't that I regretted her name, I still loved the name, it just didn't feel like it was hers.Married mother of 4 (plus one angel in heaven) thinking about TTC in 2 or 3 years
Griffin Asher~Ambrose Peregrine~Liam Christopher~Gabriel Ambrose
Genevieve Illyria~Elsa Fleur~Lucia Celeste
May 9th, 2013 08:28 AM #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- London, England
That is a snooze. For what it's worth, I love Anton, it's a handsome and special name. Your husband obviously loves it... does he have a middle name you can call him by instead? Have you told your husband how you really feel (sounds like you have, but sometimes us ladies don't say things straight out, and our men don't necessarily get what we meant...)? If you are going to change it you need to do it now.
I am changing my daughter's second middle, it simply didn't fit her. But she's not even two months so no biggie.My darling Marian Illyria Aphrodite, March 2013 & Little Bunny (a girl!) due 9th of February 2014
May 9th, 2013 09:00 AM #7Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
When I was reading your dilemma I was expecting your sons name to be awful! Then when you wrote 'Anton' I was thinking 'there's nothing wrong with it, it's a great name!'.
Don't change his name. He is already baby Anton to your husband and daughter....and to your families.
If you really dislike it that much, you need another nickname. Ant? What's the initial of his middle name?? Could he be AJ?
May 10th, 2013 05:51 AM #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Lijiang, China
Sounds like a very unfortunate situation to be dealing with, but that being said, for what it's worth, I think Anton is a fantastic name. It's one of those names that can travel the globe easily, and it feels very friendly and down to earth to me. Plus the meaning (priceless one) is pretty great.
It'd probably be too late to change the name now (in my mind), as he's already been called this name for so long, and it won't even be that much longer before he can say his own name himself. If you really really can't come around to liking the name, I'd say to just come up with a more long-term kinda nickname you can be more comfortable with (nicknames don't even necessarily have to come straight from the name itself... I've known an Aaron nicknamed Boo, I've known a female Grayson nicknamed Cici, I've known a Christopher nicknamed Merle, and some others too-- though Anton does have 'Andy', 'Tony' and 'Ant' intuitively right there, which are all nice options)Updated Name List- http://www.ebabynames.com/list/eff115- Vote away...