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  1. #31
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    east of the sun, west of the moon
    Posts
    1,274
    Not pregnant, no babies, not even TTC yet, but we've talked about it and decided to wait when (if) the time comes. We'll see if we can hold out. We both like the idea of being surprised right there with a new baby to see, but gosh I am not good at waiting. We once opened all our Christmas gifts early because I was going nuts wondering what was in the boxes. Not sure how I'll do with a baby!! I have to admit, the biggest motivator for me holding out is I get to come up with that many more names while pregnant. I'd like to go in with 5 for each gender.

    As for pressing gender roles on an unborn child, well I've certainly heard that argument but it doesn't apply to us. Our boys and girls will be creative and ride bikes and love animals and play instruments and read books and climb trees and be bilingual and wear any color they like. The nursery will be fairy tale themed, regardless of gender. Castles, forests, fairies, fauns, and rainbows.
    Considering...
    Cordelia Eilonwy Snow ● Evadne Undomiel Snow ● Isabeau Sophronia Blanche ● Lorelei Nimue Ondine
    Pandora Vivienne Swan ● Thisbe Octavia Wildrose ● Thora Ilythia Swan

    ●●● ●●● ●●●
    Caspian Ithuriel Wilder ● Damian Rainer Sparrow ● Evander Ithuriel Sol
    Gwydion Alaric Hart ● Malachi Tristan Bjorn ● Phineas Robin Blaise ● Theodore Peregrine Llyr

    our furbabies: Sebastian & Oleander

  2. #33
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Northwestern US
    Posts
    165
    I have one child and I chose to find out his gender. I'll probably start ttc in a year or two and as of now I'm thinking I might try to keep the gender a surprise. With my son I didn't even ever consider not finding out, the thought never crossed my mind because it seems to be expected that you find out these days. I'm not sure though, I'm in the middle of the road on this.

    On one hand hearing the doc announce the gender at birth seems exciting.
    I still have my son's newborn clothes and my mom still has my three year old sisters newborn clothes so I wouldn't even have to buy anything gendered in order to have a few cute girly or boyish things. I also really like white, yellow, black, grey, brown, green, orange, red clothes more than pink or blue. I like simple clothes on newborns so no ruffles or anything anyway.

    On the other hand I can not stand surprises, it has been ages since I've been surprised by something because I avoid it so much. I like to think surprises will be fun . . . until I get super anxious and weird and obsessive about it. I also had names picked out for either gender by 20 weeks and enjoyed referring to my son by name; I know some think it's strange but I cannot imagine just saying baby bean or something like that, it seems impersonal. And seriously, the argument that the name "might not fit" seems silly to me. My son was not going to be born and seem like he had the wrong name, there was no name he was destined for or something like that and his looks and personality have definitely changed since birth. People grow into their names.
    Last edited by lovewn; May 9th, 2013 at 02:49 AM.

  3. #35
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,175
    Quote Originally Posted by maggiefromcanada View Post
    THIS. I am exactly the same. I loathe surprises. Even the idea of a surprise party gives me irrational discomfort. I will find out whether my future little ones are boys or girls ahead of time for this exact reason. It's not about impatience or about painting nursery walls, just about the knowing itself. (Obviously 50 years ago I would have just dealt with the surprise, but now that I CAN know, I dislike not knowing.)

    Just curious: Would you consider yourself an introvert? I recently read a book about introversion, and it's very common for introverts to hate surprises.
    I also hate surprises. That's why I want to know when I have children.

    That's really interesting. I am an introvert, so maybe that explains it.
    Raquel-21 year old who loves names, books, and languages

    Ladies: Catherine Isabella,Helena Margaret, Clara Josephine, Amelia Juliet, Louisa Genevieve, Eva Rosalind, Rose Fiammetta, Edith Lenore, Charlotte Rosamund, Eleanora Winter
    Gentlemen: Asher Frederick, Nicholas Hugo, Henry Oliver, William Grey, Matthew Isaiah, Thomas Alaric, George Everett

  4. #37
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    12
    Quote Originally Posted by cygnus View Post
    I think it is wonderful to wait and be surprised, what a wonderful, incredible surprise after all that hard work, how special to say "it's girl/boy!" BUT, we totally found out haha. Our little one was a huge (precious!!) surprise so I think finding out the sex made him seem more like a little person and less of an abstract sweet dream and helped my husband connect with him more. I wanted to wait but my husband was so excited and dying to know -he wanted to know everything about our baby, loved that baby so much, so we found out. I'm not sure if we'll find out for future little ones.
    i think this might be the final result for us too, my husband says he's alright with not finding out, but i think he'll want to know we'll just see how it goes. I noticed you call your son little bear, that's our nickname for our little guy too has been since the day he was born, a 9lb fiesty little thing from the start.

  5. #39
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    12
    Quote Originally Posted by ameliawilliams View Post
    I love the idea of waiting and being surprised. And I'd also like that people would probably just give me gift cards instead of clothes because that way I could pick stuff I like. .

    oh my goodness, this never occurred to me! When i had my baby shower for my son I (of course) got a TON of clothes.. most of which were okay, but I am very picky. I can't stand the clothing with silly sayings, or disney characters, or anything like that. I like clothes that just look like normal clothes, like adult clothes in baby size. So when i got a bunch of outfits that say " I LOVE GRANDMA" or "PARTY IN MY CRIB".. i was pretty desperate to return them. I just don't like that kind of stuff. Gift cards would be ideal.

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