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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    12

    NOT finding out the sex

    Hi there, I'm new here so I hope I'm posting this in the right spot..
    With our first child my husband and I found out the sex at 20 weeks and immediately were bombarded with name "suggestions" and "opinions" from our families that ended up pushing us away from a name we really loved. We plan on TTC baby number 2 as soon as he is home from deployment and we are seriously considering not finding out the sex of the baby and keeping it a surprise until birth. I would love to hear from parents who have done this, particularly anyone who has found out the gender of one baby but not another.

    what was your experience with it? would you recommend it? pros and cons?

    thanks!

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,126
    I don't have kiddos yet, so I'm probably not your first choice of answerer. But these are my reasons/pros for not finding out with a possible future baba:

    - why do you really need to know?
    - the aforementioned family name arguments shouldn't be as bad
    - the 'I'll bond better with the baby' argument sounds a bit ridiculous to me. What, so if I don't find out the sex it means I won't bond with my kid?
    - why do you need to know the sex to bond with the baby anyway?!
    - what happens if you 'bond' with a girl baby who turns out to be a boy baby?
    - there won't be disappointment with a baby of the 'wrong' sex
    - why do we have to start pigeonholing the poor baby before it's even born?
    - parents have been having, loving and bonding with children quite happily for thousands of years without knowing the sex
    - the other argument of being prepared with the pink/blue nursery and pink/blue baby stuff is just impractical and wrong
    - finding out the sex is a bit like opening all your presents before christmas
    - I love surprises

    I think, really, I'm very traditional and want it to be as natural as possible. But just do what you feel is right for you
    William ♠ Thomas ♠ Peter ♠ Henry ~ Rose ♠ Alice ♠ Ivy ♠ Lowenna
    Mowesi ~ Henwyn Kernewek ~ Mebyon

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    London, England
    Posts
    5,340
    Quote Originally Posted by charlieandperry1 View Post
    these are my reasons/pros for not finding out with a possible future baba:

    - why do you really need to know?
    - the aforementioned family name arguments shouldn't be as bad
    - the 'I'll bond better with the baby' argument sounds a bit ridiculous to me. What, so if I don't find out the sex it means I won't bond with my kid?
    - why do you need to know the sex to bond with the baby anyway?!
    - what happens if you 'bond' with a girl baby who turns out to be a boy baby?
    - there won't be disappointment with a baby of the 'wrong' sex
    - why do we have to start pigeonholing the poor baby before it's even born?
    - parents have been having, loving and bonding with children quite happily for thousands of years without knowing the sex
    - the other argument of being prepared with the pink/blue nursery and pink/blue baby stuff is just impractical and wrong
    - finding out the sex is a bit like opening all your presents before christmas
    - I love surprises
    Such a smart girl! I agree with all of this!

    We didn't find out with our first. It was my boyfriend's decision, he really wanted the surprise, and while I was a little grumpy in the beginning, I came around. It' fun not to know! Of course working out two name lists was a hassle, but the rest was fine. We both loved guessing the gender, we went back and forth on what we thought it was, even though both of us hoped for a girl. Not because we don't want boys, but both or families are packed with little boys and a girl made a nice change.
    The bonding thing as C&P mentioned is so true. I can't imagine bonding more with my child if I knew she was a girl. I actually really loved getting to know my baby without knowing the gender, it was sweet. And special, because almost everyone I know have known the gender.
    I'm not into the whole pink/blue nursery, and as for baby clothes: either buy some for each gender and give away/save the clothes that are "wrong" or just buy white sleepsuits and wait until the baby's there to have a fun online shopping session. All my friends and family waited until after she was born to buy pressies, my boyfriend's mother went out as soon as she got the call and bought half of Selfridges.
    With or next one (going to start trying for the naxt baba in nine months) we won't find out either. Boy or girl, it will still wear the same stuff Rosalind did as a newborn. It's not like boys need to look macho the second they come out of the belly.
    [FONT=Palatino Linotype][CENTER]My darling Marian Illyria Aphrodite, March 2013 & Little Bunny (a girl!) due 9th of February 2014[/CENTER][/FONT]

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    667
    We didn't find out the gender with this baby. I much prefer not knowing. I know some people prefer to plan, but really, there's only so much planning you can do for a newborn. Besides that, most newborn clothes are gender neutral so its a null point.

    I completely agree with every single point @charlieandperry1 made. Should we have another child after this, we'll take the same route of not finding out.


    Mama to Amelie Clara (2008) & Daisy Madeline (2013).

    Alice Tallulah, Polly Matilda, Rosalie Faye, Lucy Annabel, Maya Lillian, Hazel Kate, Eva Blossom, Juliet Lila, Ivy Camille.
    Charles Joshua "Charlie", Theodore Samuel "Teddy", Elliott Daniel, Noah Zachary, James Oscar, Arthur Philip, Rowan Isaac.





  5. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    416
    -not a mom, sorry for butting in, I love this topic!-

    When I grow up I plan to be Team Yellow for all of my pregnancies, if it works out that way. I think it's sweet to be able to go through the delivery and have that surprise at the end. I am also horrible at making decisions so I like the idea of being able to bring 10 names (five for each gender) and choosing the name of my baby based on what they look/act like after meeting them. I also think at your baby shower you wouldn't be well, showered, with gifts all pertaining to a certain gender. I also love gender neutral nurseries.

    I guess it depends on the person, and if you're impatient or not. I can see it being hard for people to not know the gender through the months of their pregnancy, especially when they're at the stage where all they have to do is call in and ask for an appointment to see the gender.
    Catelin Geneva
    Just highschooler by day author by night obsessed with names and future babies when she's much older.

    Cecily Eirwen Ophelia, Belphoebe Judith Primrose, Isolde Bellona Winter, Circe Guinevere Florence
    ::
    Rainier Gideon Wolf, Theon Samuel Peregrin, Peregrin Julius Harrow, Dorian Oliver Fox, Casimir Endymion Silver


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