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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,841
    Just wanted to add, my best friend has two sons and she and her husband are trying for their third. They didn't find out the sex either time with their first two, but are going to this time so, in my friend's words, she can cry if it's another boy! She REALLY wants a girl, but doesn't want to be upset when the baby's born if it's a boy. This way, she can cry, but get over it by the time he's born.
    TTC #1

    Audrey - Beatrice - Clara - Daphne - Jane - Margaret - Susannah - Violet

    August - Barnaby - Edward - Frederick - Henry - Rupert - Theodore - Walter

  2. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    968
    We chose not to find out this time just for fun. We only plan on having two, so if I want a surprise, I have to do it with this baby. It has been fun thus far, and I like that it has curbed a lot of our spending. Since we don't know the gender, I'm not as tempted to buy clothes, shoes, etc. when I see them on sale. Unfortunately, it has made the unwanted name advice actually worse. Last time, my mom tried to just push boy names on me that she liked. Now she is hitting both genders. And hitting them hard :-P We already have 4 or 5 solid girl names picked out, but she doesn't like any of them, so she's been relentless about suggesting other names. It's driving me a bit crazy. I just try really hard to change the subject whenever it comes up. Oh well, she'll just have to get used to the name we pick ;-) I think it's a great idea to not find out the gender of a second baby. It's easy for us because we already have all the gear (mostly gender neutral). Plus, I kept all my son's clothes, so if it's a boy we're set, and if it's a girl, she can use all the gender neutral newborn clothes till I can get some girly ones. And seriously, if it's a girl, my mom and mother-in-law are going to have a crazy shopping day the day she's born anyway. I should also add that my dad and father-in-law are very grateful that we haven't found out the gender ;-) Good luck, and I'm sure you'll be happy no matter what decision you make. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you and your husband for your service to our country. I have a number of friends whose husbands deploy often, and I know your whole family sacrifices a lot for our safety. I really appreciate all our service men and women and their families.
    Wife to Jordan.
    Mommy to Everett Callan, born 2010 and Callie Sage Eilonwy, born 2013
    and 2 fur babies: a male standard poodle named Shasta, and a female Australian shepherd named Scout.

    If you have any questions about PCOS, infertility, ectopic pregnancy, or Cystic Fibrosis testing, please feel free to message me

  3. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    London, England
    Posts
    5,340
    Quote Originally Posted by charlieandperry1 View Post
    these are my reasons/pros for not finding out with a possible future baba:

    - why do you really need to know?
    - the aforementioned family name arguments shouldn't be as bad
    - the 'I'll bond better with the baby' argument sounds a bit ridiculous to me. What, so if I don't find out the sex it means I won't bond with my kid?
    - why do you need to know the sex to bond with the baby anyway?!
    - what happens if you 'bond' with a girl baby who turns out to be a boy baby?
    - there won't be disappointment with a baby of the 'wrong' sex
    - why do we have to start pigeonholing the poor baby before it's even born?
    - parents have been having, loving and bonding with children quite happily for thousands of years without knowing the sex
    - the other argument of being prepared with the pink/blue nursery and pink/blue baby stuff is just impractical and wrong
    - finding out the sex is a bit like opening all your presents before christmas
    - I love surprises
    Such a smart girl! I agree with all of this!

    We didn't find out with our first. It was my boyfriend's decision, he really wanted the surprise, and while I was a little grumpy in the beginning, I came around. It' fun not to know! Of course working out two name lists was a hassle, but the rest was fine. We both loved guessing the gender, we went back and forth on what we thought it was, even though both of us hoped for a girl. Not because we don't want boys, but both or families are packed with little boys and a girl made a nice change.
    The bonding thing as C&P mentioned is so true. I can't imagine bonding more with my child if I knew she was a girl. I actually really loved getting to know my baby without knowing the gender, it was sweet. And special, because almost everyone I know have known the gender.
    I'm not into the whole pink/blue nursery, and as for baby clothes: either buy some for each gender and give away/save the clothes that are "wrong" or just buy white sleepsuits and wait until the baby's there to have a fun online shopping session. All my friends and family waited until after she was born to buy pressies, my boyfriend's mother went out as soon as she got the call and bought half of Selfridges.
    With or next one (going to start trying for the naxt baba in nine months) we won't find out either. Boy or girl, it will still wear the same stuff Rosalind did as a newborn. It's not like boys need to look macho the second they come out of the belly.
    [FONT=Palatino Linotype][CENTER]My darling Marian Illyria Aphrodite, March 2013 & Little Bunny (a girl!) due 9th of February 2014[/CENTER][/FONT]

  4. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    256
    I am totally all for the surprise. Didn't find out with our two and trying to conceive #3 and still will not find out. I think there are truly only some things in the world that remain absolutely sacred (and truly a surprise!) and that is the sex of your bub in your tummy. Yes, there is all talk about being "organised" but really....they don't need very much in that first 6-12 weeks and you can buy gender appropriate stuff when its born. I am the most anal, organised, perfectionist freak out there......and i LOVED not knowing, talking baby names and then it being me and my husband the first people to know the gender and the baby's name. Would never change that moment. Ever
    Mummy to the gorgeous Alice Heather and the delicious Harry George

    Bubba #3 due March 2014! Finalising short list of favourite names!

  5. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,912
    Haven't had children yet, but is it bad to want to know just because you want to know. I HATE surprises. HATE them. It is an irrational hatred, I understand, but I do. I just want to know. Not to buy clothes, not to set up a nursery, but just because I want to know.
    Mi corazón
    Zoe Milena

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