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Thread: NOT finding out the sex
May 7th, 2013 10:30 PM #6Junior Member
- Join Date
- May 2013
I love the idea of having it be a surprise, it will make the labor more bearable i think! haha having that big reveal to look forward too!
but, the big reason i found out with our first child is i HATE yellow and green ANYTHING.
But, my solution for this would be to paint the nursery gray, and then either accent it with pink or blue decorations and bedding (which would be an easy fix once baby is here) and i suppose I'd just get a few blue and pink outfits for baby's first few days home. whichever set i don't use i can just return when i go bulk baby clothes shopping!
My other reason for finding out with our son was because I thought I needed to know the sex to really settle on a name, when it came down to it I wasn't really 100% sure (even though i'd had a name picked out) what I was going to name him until I saw him, so it definitely wasn't vital to know.
I never really thought about people buying me gifts and having trouble, but do people typically have baby showers with second babies? i'm not really sure how that works..
May 7th, 2013 10:43 PM #8Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
May 7th, 2013 10:56 PM #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
My husband and I decided to not find out the sex of our first child for several reasons-
I thought it would be a fun surprise, I thought it would be more economical (i.e., forced us to buy more gender neutral stuff), and I didn't want to place lots of expectations on my child while it was still growing inside of me. However, from the time I knew I was to pregnant to when we actually delivered, I already knew in my heart what we were having; and I was right, we had a precious baby boy! Not finding out was the right decision for us at the time. I think the best advice on this subject came from an OBGYN that my pregnant friend was going to; she advised if you are emotionally invested in having one sex over another, it is probably best to find out before hand because you don't want anything to take away from your special moment with your new baby. So, if you always thought you would have a baby girl first, you should go ahead and find out, then if you are shocked/disappointed/frustrated you can have your 'sad' moment, and then get super excited about what is to come.
May 7th, 2013 11:09 PM #12
I do not want to find out the sex. I really hope the future daddy agrees with me, because I don't really want to pull the I am the one carrying the baby card...but I want to be surprised!
I don't have kids but I also think of when we would breed puppies as a kid. It was so exciting waiting to find out what they were going to be (we would also place bets on it). I can't imagine finding out before hand, even for puppies it takes away from the magic of the moment for me.
And this is coming from a person who had a hard time waiting for anything.
May 8th, 2013 12:30 AM #14
We have done it both ways and waiting just wasn't for us. My first was a boy and we were very excited to find out it was a boy at 20 weeks. For our second, we (mostly I) decided to wait. We went to the hospital with 2 names and I brought 2 outfits and blankets. We were thrilled to find out that we had a little girl. For our third we decided to find out the gender at the scan. For my current pregnancy, my midwife offers a free gender ultrasound at 15 weeks which I am planning on taking advantage of. I will never wait again.
Some arguments for finding out:
- In this day and age why delay a surprise at 20 weeks simply to get it 20 weeks later.
- There are far more surprises awaiting you when your baby is born. Their temperament, personality, mannerisms, hair/eyes/features, smile,
first words. Apart from gender, your baby is a brand new person in your life to get to know. Mark my words, finding out the gender hardly taints the
miracle of bringing a child into this world. In my experience, waiting to find out the gender didn't make meeting my daughter any more
special than meeting my two beautiful boys.
- It significantly narrows down baby names. For me this is BIG. I love picking out names, but getting my husband involved is a huge headache. It's
ridiculous for us to fight about names for both genders if we only have to fight about one.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't wait to find out. If you really want to know what it is like you just have to try for yourself. I'm just saying that it isn't for everyone. I also don't see how waiting to find out the gender will solve your naming problems. In my experience, people are terrible about hiding dislike of a name even after the baby is born and named. Opinions are often not as verbal at that point, but they are still obvious. IMHO its easier to face the music before the baby is born. Its your baby and you get to name it, stick to your guns.Mom to Henry, Mollie, Gideon, and expecting Clark Ebenezer in November.