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  1. #1

    Need advice...Zelda, someone beat me to it!

    Ok, so my husband and I aren’t expecting, but we’re hoping to be soon. I’m a name obsessed, wannabe writer, so I research names all the time. Lately, however the DH and I have been talking names seriously. We agreed on boy names years ago. I’m pickier about girl names. Months ago we both finally agreed on one we’d love for a girl, Zelda. I am a gamer girl, I collect Legend of Zelda items, I’m also a very distant relation of F. Scott Fitzgerald, and there’s a few other Zeldas in my family tree. We told no one our ideas.

    Well, (and this probably shows how complicated my extended family is…) an ex-family member/friend of my extended family just named her daughter that. I know she has the right to name her child whatever, but let me explain how it complicates things for us. It’s my cousin’s ex-wife, however, her and my cousin have an older child together, so this woman is still invited and comes over for holidays at my grandparents’ house. Therefore, if we did use that name we’d probably be accused of stealing it from her by her and everyone else. Furthermore, this woman and I don’t get along. Even when she was married to my cousin she was snarky and rude to me. I dread holidays because I hate being around her. So, even if DH and I do go ahead with the name, I feel like it’s going to remind me of that woman and how much she dislikes me. However, at the same time I’m very bummed out, because for the first time in my life I imagined having a little girl and that was her name. I even had Zizi picked out as a nickname.

    So, I’m at a loss. I don’t think I would mind using/sharing the name if it was with someone I got along with. If we got along, I could just joke that we both have good taste. It doesn’t bother me if Zelda gets more popular...the comments from my family and that woman will bother me. Part of me feels like I should forget it, part of me thinks maybe I could still use it as a middle name. Or, because we want a large family, I could save it for a possible second daughter if the years go by and I still love it. (Or maybe it’ll turn out we have all boys and my worrying is pointless). DH is upset and still wants to name a possible daughter Zelda regardless.

    If you’ve read my rant this far, thank you for bearing with me. Anyone out there have a similar situation? What did you do? Anyone regret not naming your child something because a family member/friend/someone-you-have-to-put-up with beat you to it?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    361
    If it's going to continue to cause anxiety years down the line, i'd say it would be best to push it to a middle name or save it for a later child. I was almost deterred from using Rowan for my first child because a girl I went to high school with used it a few months before I was due, but I stuck it out and used it anyway, figuring I would never have to see her again if I didn't want to, and we don't even live in the same city anymore so our kids would likely never cross paths. If your situation was closer to that, i'd say keep it, but your situation sounds much more complicated. Bummer.
    Mama to ~Rowan Josephine 1/12~
    and ~Teagan Dahlia~ 5/13~

  3. #5
    Thanks, I guess I'll just have to wait and see. On forums and blogs I read about people getting upset that someone stole their baby name a lot. I feel like I have the opposite problem now because I'd be the "so-call" stealer, even though it's just an unfortunate coincidence. Her other child's name is a totally different style from Zelda, so it shocked me.

    When my grandparents are gone (and I hope that's not for years and years to come), I won't cross paths with her anymore. Maybe now that she has a child with someone else, she'll go to their place for holidays. DH thinks we should name ours Zelda just to get on her nerves :-|

  4. #7
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    6,585
    Well, if you're not even expecting yet I'd wait to make an issue of it.
    By the time you get pregnant and if it's a girl the situation may have changed--you may grow to not like the name or find another you like better or as you say, she may have wandered out of your life and it won't be an issue.
    I don't think you should make an issue of it until it actally is one.
    Livy/Lucy : Geneva/Gwen : Coralie/Alice : Noelle/Eve
    Eli/Bennett : Jude/Zane: Luke/Leo : Levi/Phineas


  5. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    ▼ Winterfell ▼
    Posts
    162
    Quote Originally Posted by kala_way View Post
    Well, if you're not even expecting yet I'd wait to make an issue of it.
    By the time you get pregnant and if it's a girl the situation may have changed--you may grow to not like the name or find another you like better or as you say, she may have wandered out of your life and it won't be an issue.
    I don't think you should make an issue of it until it actally is one.
    I think that is really good advice.

    I know it may be hard, but try not to worry about it now. You never know what the situation will be when you start having children.
    “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.”
    -George R.R. Martin

    alyssa ϟ twenty-one ϟ usa ϟ name lover

    If I ever have a baby, I would name him or her:
    Charlotte Matilda |Augustus Henry

    Anastasia Louise, Clara Penelope, Amelia Caitlin / Aiden James, Jase Alexander, Renly Isaac
    +more


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