I hunted down this thread on page 8 of Momberries with some hope that some of you are still paying attention to it!
I have a bit of a conundrum. We plan to have two flowergirls, his niece, who will be 6, and the daughter of some family friends, who will be two years old at the time. We haven't asked the parents yet, but hopefully they all agree. I have been slightly hesitant to ask the friends though, because of many reasons. Their daughter has Trisomy 21, Downs Syndrome. I know along with myself, they have every single intention of allowing their daughter to have a very normal life with normal experiences, like being a flower girl! My hesitation comes from the developmental delays she may have, behavior wise I am not concerned, but more with her motor skills. I already intend to have my girls carry Pomander balls, instead of tossing flower petals, so that's a non-issue. The big one is, children with Downs Syndrome, from what I can tell, tend to walk much later, often between the ages of 2-4, and she will be only just over 2. I don't want to wait too much longer to ask our friends, so I want to make sure I have a plan for all possibilities. I want her included no matter what, and if her inability to walk prevents her from being a part of the wedding, I feel it sets a bad precedent for allowing her 'disability' to determine her abilities.
If she cannot walk on the wedding day, what are my other options for getting her down the aisle? (If she is walking, she'll hold the hand of the 6 year old, who can guide her down the aisle!) The aisle will likely have a 90 degree turn in it, due to the nature of the space, will be indoors, and I'd prefer to not have her parents carry her down the aisle, I would like only the wedding party to be part of the processional. (Ringbearer, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, & Flowergirls)
In all honesty, I wouldn't have your friends' daughter be in the wedding just because of her age. Toddlers are very unpredictable and walking down an aisle with a bunch of strangers surronding them can be very scary. I've been to more than one weddng where the flowergirl was that age and either refused to walk down the aisle, had a freak out midway and started crying or just kind of ran off partway through and the parents had to go get them (Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I can't remember one wedding I've been to where the flowergirl was that age and successfully made it down the aisle without an adult). A toddler won't even be able to remember being in the wedding later anyway, so it's not like she'll be missing out on some great experience if she doesn't get to be a flowergirl right now.
If you're dead set on having this little girl in your wedding though, I think the best course of action would be to talk it over with her parents. They would have the best idea of what their daughter's limits are and would probably be able to offer up the best solution if she indeed can't walk down the aisle.