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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    774
    Sorry, computer cut me off....But again, everyone is different with what they feel is best *for their family* and what works for somebody may not work for you. I know my sister has MS and her drs recommended they have children younger rather than wait...she was 28 when her oldest was born and then 30 having her 2nd (and last) child. Had she waited until she was a few years older, who knows what toll it would have had on her health afterwards (MS goes into remission when pregnant, but afterwards both time, it "made up for lost time" and was bad...) not to mention actually getting pregnant (took her over a year with her first). But then again, my one SIL waited until she had her doctorate and was able to get into a position where she could work part time after she had kids so that meant being almost 36 when her oldest arrived due to career goals.

    Like *many* things involving children and raising there of, blanket statements are never the way to go. Ever. Each family, situation, and goals are so different and what works for you might not work for the next person.
    Married to my love since August 2001
    --—————————————
    My lovely bunch of coconuts;
    Sebastian Elihu (7/02)
    Bronwen Eliza (2/04)
    Linus Ezra Graham (9/06)
    Violet Leona (1/09) and
    Wolfgang Levi (3/13)
    Always missing our Felix Emmanuel (10/10-10/10)

  2. #43
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    671
    I won't lie, the comments in the OP touched a nerve with me, and I'm not even a particularly young parent. I'm in my mid twenties and expecting baby number 2.

    Anyway, things like this usually make me go off on a rant but I'll refrain.

    Age does not define the type of parent you will be. One of my best mom friends is 42! She had her DS (also her first child) the same month Amelie was born. We met at a labour yoga class. Our age difference made zero difference because we were going through exactly the same things at the same time: we experienced a lot of our firsts as mothers at the same time.

    I don't understand being worried about being the oldest parent, you are all mothers, I don't see why you need to be the same age as someone to get along with them, especially about something such as parenting?

    I'll also say that good circumstances don't always equal a great home life. I can think of plenty of examples of people I know who "technically" did it all perfectly: Went to Uni, got a good degree, got a masters, got married, bought a house, THEN had kids and still ended up totally miserable.

    Life has no promises. One of my mottoes is "If you really want it that badly, you'll find a way to make it happen". I think this applies to having children, too.


    Mama to Amelie Clara (2008) & Daisy Madeline (2013).

    Alice Tallulah, Polly Matilda, Rosalie Faye, Lucy Annabel, Maya Lillian, Hazel Kate, Eva Blossom, Juliet Lila, Ivy Camille.
    Charles Joshua "Charlie", Theodore Samuel "Teddy", Elliott Daniel, Noah Zachary, James Oscar, Arthur Philip, Rowan Isaac.





  3. #45
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,841
    I just wanted to add that a friend of mine had a baby two years ago at 45 (we were friends already even though I'm 29 - we worked together) and she wasn't the oldest mum in her mother's group! There was another woman who had a baby at 47. So, I wouldn't worry about being the oldest mother at 30!
    TTC #1

    Audrey - Beatrice - Clara - Daphne - Jane - Margaret - Susannah - Violet

    August - Barnaby - Edward - Frederick - Henry - Rupert - Theodore - Walter

  4. #47
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,450
    Other people do feel this way. It's not mean. It's normal. However, we don't know their circumstances. Perhaps they do have a stable relationship and steady income. I know it sometimes seems like the world is conspiring against you. I understand impatience for life to have a new beginning, to feel the joy of motherhood...and who wants to feel old?
    When a woman is over 35 it is more difficult to get pregnant. Women over 35 that are pregnant are treated differently and hospitals give them a special floor and call it the geriatric section. Society makes women think that they should be having their children before they are 30. But 30 isn't that old!
    I am one of the older women on Nameberry and I often feel like I don't have much in common with other posters. Usually I just stick to the posts about names. We have that in common - a love of names.
    I worry that I will be asked if my child is my grand child one day. I am in my late 30s, pregnant with my first.
    It just happened that way. My husband and I struggled. Once we have our child, I am sure I will forget about the way I felt about all the other people that seemed to have it so easy. Our baby will be born when it is supposed to be born. We will be parents, whether we are ready or not. It seems like nobody is ever really prepared for it. I have heard the first few months referred to as the 4th trimester!
    You will have your baby or babies when the time is right for you. Try not to worry about everyone else.

  5. #49
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    4,125
    Quote Originally Posted by emiliaj View Post
    30 is still pretty young- but in terms of fertility age by 35 you are starting to head towards potential decline of egg life.
    If you plan more than 2 this could mean that subsequent pregnancies are more difficult to achieve.
    Additionally, some women at 30 might unknowingly already have declined fertility.
    My suggestion to you is to ask your GP for a blood test for what is known as your AMH. This will give you a clear picture of you ovarian reserve now at your current age. If you recheck this regularly you will be able to better determine your timing for starting your family.
    Best to make sure it's timed to be biologically ideal for you as an individual rather than base it on other people's choices.

    Good luck,
    Emilia
    Emilia I think with everyone defending either being a young mom or an "older" one we completely forgot to give this as advice.
    Thanks for putting it out there.
    ...if my husbands has no vote, then....
    Endora & Lorelei / Dexter & Gideon
    ...we are newlyweds and not trying...yet...

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