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  1. #36
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    915
    Quote Originally Posted by lexiem View Post
    I really hate it when people say they want to be young mothers so they have the energy to run after their kids. If your in your mid 30s or 40s are you going to be running around with a walker? My mom (as stated above) was older and the energy she still has now is astounding - what she does in a week, the thought alone exhausts me. I expect it's similar to how younger mothers feel when others say they "waited" for emotional stability. So to each their own, right?!
    SAME. HERE.

    My fit 59-year-old mother is running circles around my overweight 29-year-old SIL who is a mother of two. In my late 20s I feel more energetic than I did in my early 20s (thanks to improved health and wellness priorities), and I hope to only keep improving upon that. Sheesh people sure have an outdated (by a factor of decades, if not centuries) attitude about health and aging.

    My mom was 31 when she had me, and I was the last kid. She has been struggling to bite her tongue as I near 30, but when we really sit down and talk about it she does end up agreeing that 30 is not the scary looming deadline it seemed to be in her generation. She also gave up her career in order to have kids young (it's not always mutually exclusive, but for her career dreams, it was), and while she swears she doesn't regret a thing, I know she feels the loss of that goal.
    Last edited by yellow; April 30th, 2013 at 09:13 PM.

  2. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by renrose View Post
    But why, Flick? The way you described your circumstances:



    ...make it sound like you did indeed have (to quote Sarah) 'everything in your life together' (job, husband, school etc) It just happened earlier for you, that's the only difference

    It's not that I feel insecure about my OWN circumstances, it just comes off as super judgmental and like everyone should want or achieve the same things before wanting to become mothers. Not everyone has the want to go to college, not everyone put's a high importance on having a ton of money in the bank and it feels like when people make those comments that feeling like those things aren't as high on your priority list is somehow wrong.

  3. #40
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,846
    Also, to all the girls who are in their 20s and worried time will run out for them, if I could go back in time and talk to my young 20-something self, I'd say don't worry so much and to enjoy your single days while they last! Now I'm married and long for those times when I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted! Know that marriage and children will come. Enjoy your single life because when it's over you'll never have those days again! Honestly, I wish I'd done more with my time back then (i.e. go out more, travel more, etc).
    First baby due on September 7, 2015!

    Audrey - Beatrice - Clara - Daphne - Jane - Margaret - Susannah - Violet

    August - Barnaby - Edward - Frederick - Henry - Rupert - Theodore - Walter

  4. #42
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    774
    DH and I were both 23 when our oldest was born, 34 when our most recent addition joined us and he is our last. Granted we didnt "try" to get pregnant with our oldest (I was on the bc pill) but at the current time I have my BA and my DH has his undergrad, one masters degree and is working on another (MBA) so I do not feel like we dont 'have it together' as we can support our family size and have always been able to support our life without help from anyone (except student loans, lol). Each and every one of our children has been welcomed into our home with love, and this felt right for us (continuing to have children back to back after our first). Each person walks a different path with child bearing...I am one of the younger moms at my kids school and people at mothering groups are always shocked I have 5 kids so young, ha! But all this to say, while I do believe you should try to be at least somewhat stable financially and for certain in a stable relationship before ttc, not having either of these things doesnt mean you are doomed as a parent or that your child will not be loved and cared for...

    Some of my good friends began in their mid 30's having children, some even late 30's. I would say on average, most started having children when I was pregnant with Linus or shortly there after (people I obviously knew before I had children...college friends, high school friends, family etc) so most were 26-27-28 if they were people my husband and I knew from college/high school (we went to different colleges, same high school).
    Married to my love since August 2001
    --—————————————
    My lovely bunch of coconuts;
    Sebastian Elihu (7/02)
    Bronwen Eliza (2/04)
    Linus Ezra Graham (9/06)
    Violet Leona (1/09) and
    Wolfgang Levi (3/13)
    Always missing our Felix Emmanuel (10/10-10/10)

  5. #44
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    2,140
    30 is still pretty young- but in terms of fertility age by 35 you are starting to head towards potential decline of egg life.
    If you plan more than 2 this could mean that subsequent pregnancies are more difficult to achieve.
    Additionally, some women at 30 might unknowingly already have declined fertility.
    My suggestion to you is to ask your GP for a blood test for what is known as your AMH. This will give you a clear picture of you ovarian reserve now at your current age. If you recheck this regularly you will be able to better determine your timing for starting your family.
    Best to make sure it's timed to be biologically ideal for you as an individual rather than base it on other people's choices.

    Good luck,
    Emilia
    Phoebe Eliza Grace arrived after 2 Years of IVF

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