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  1. #26
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    301
    I was adopted when I was 3. I have distinctive memories.
    My mom wanted to change my name after her grandmothers. My dad said No since I was 3 and already had adjustments to make. They decided to add my biological surname as a 2nd middle name.

    Ive always felt detached to my given first name. I knew my mom.didnt love it and I didnt fit with the rest of the family.
    I wouldve rather they changed it and went with a name my mom loved. It wouldve helped me deal with the adoption better.

    I have a Huge.heart for adoption. Absolutely I will change their name so they know where they belong. But i will keep their given names as middles so they know where they came from <3
    Mom to Tess, Kaia, Jasper and dogs Brody, Max and Felix

    *Penelope Sadie Kite* Piper Olive Cordelia* Phoebe Clementine Hope* Hattie Vivian Jewel* Willa Florence Eve*

    *Finn Wesley Joseph* Ezra Calvin David* Judah Theodore Henry* Leo Abram James*

  2. #28
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Spain
    Posts
    1,984
    Quote Originally Posted by wrenmaple View Post
    I was adopted when I was 3. I have distinctive memories.
    My mom wanted to change my name after her grandmothers. My dad said No since I was 3 and already had adjustments to make. They decided to add my biological surname as a 2nd middle name.

    Ive always felt detached to my given first name. I knew my mom.didnt love it and I didnt fit with the rest of the family.
    I wouldve rather they changed it and went with a name my mom loved. It wouldve helped me deal with the adoption better.

    I have a Huge.heart for adoption. Absolutely I will change their name so they know where they belong. But i will keep their given names as middles so they know where they came from <3
    This is great insight. Thank you for sharing
    Lucia
    Ariadne, Eleanora, Minerva, Orchid, Sela
    Caius, Everett, Luther, Marius, Mordecai

  3. #30
    I don't think changing a child's name will necessarily rob them of their heritage. It's up to the parents to keep their adopted child connected to their heritage. Heritage is more than just a name. I have a Dutch last name but my family is more Cherokee than Dutch. For me it would largely depend on the child's age and what name they were given. A child might be born to a different culture or country but they'd be growing up in the United States/Britain/Wherever else, and they will absorb and become part of that culture too. If a name is difficult to spell or pronounce in English or if it was similar to a bad word in English I'd change it.

    In High School I was friends with a Vietnamese girl. Her real name was Nhu but she was so frustrated with it being mispronounced that she adopted 'Elena' as a nickname. She's not ashamed of her culture, she's just sick of having to tell people how to spell and pronounce her birth name.

  4. #32
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    402
    I don't see any problem with changing a child's name. It's not mean, selfish, nor does it take away from their heritage. In many cases where the child's name is changed, it makes them feel like they belong in their new family. If I were to adopt, depending on their age, I'd most likely change their name, and make their birth name as their middle name. If they were old enough to make the decision, I'd ask them. The only time I disagree with a name change is if the child was old enough to say no, that they didn't want to change their name, and the parents changed it anyways (some exceptions would apply, like a completely unpronounceable name for example).
    Ian Alexander Cameron Blaise Damien Cole Axel Sean Callum Bryce Lennox Beau
    Blair Annevieve Camryn Atalya Piper Caydence Tallulah Sage Senna Kai Haven Lux

  5. #34
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    717
    Quote Originally Posted by staplerwithteeth View Post
    In High School I was friends with a Vietnamese girl. Her real name was Nhu but she was so frustrated with it being mispronounced that she adopted 'Elena' as a nickname. She's not ashamed of her culture, she's just sick of having to tell people how to spell and pronounce her birth name.
    I agree with that completely. DH has an Uzbekistani friend called Tilla. I know his birth name sounds like Rock-mah-tilla but as to what it actually is I have no idea. His cousin who goes to school with my brother did the same thing. He goes by Beck.
    If I had a baby right now they'd be:
    Isaac
    or
    Blaire

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