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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    716
    I don't have very much experience with adoption but on the topic of choosing the child's hair and eye color beforehand... You don't even have that guarantee with a biological child... How rediculous!
    Dominic James~ (4)

    Gabriel : Jude : Phineas : Sebastian
    Elena : Felicity : Lavender : Julia

  2. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    1,404
    I changed my boys names. They were adopted from Kenya. Neither was given names by birth mothers. One was left in a pit latrine to die... They were assigned names by orphanages. I gave them Biblical names that were significant to our family and their joining our family.
    ~ "How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers."~ Mother Teresa

  3. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,821
    Quote Originally Posted by joyfulmomto8 View Post
    I changed my boys names. They were adopted from Kenya. Neither was given names by birth mothers. One was left in a pit latrine to die... They were assigned names by orphanages. I gave them Biblical names that were significant to our family and their joining our family.
    In this case, that's wonderful!
    Anastasia, Tessa, Marina, Stella
    Connor, Rhett, Corbin, Grayson

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    2,827
    I've seen quite a few adoption stories of older children where parents have changed the child's name and everyone, including the child, is happy about it. And even some where the child requests the name change.
    I think it really would depend on the situation and the child. If the kid's name was given to them by their birth parents and had special meaning and the child wanted to keep it I wouldn't change it. But if the child's name was picked off a list with no significant meaning I feel giving the child a name that the parents agonized over and loved would be giving the child love, and if the child is older they can have input on what they would like to be called. I don't think it would be traumatizing or taking anything from the child (if the child agreed) but more of finding acceptance and a place where they belonged.
    And I think if I were a child being adopted from a foreign country into a family that already has children, I would want a name that sounded similar to my siblings, and having a name that was different might make me feel that I was out of place.

    But all that being said, I think parents know what's best for their children. And sometimes keeping a name is the right choice, while other times changing it might be the right move, and it's a choice that needs to be made by the child (if they're old enough) and the parents.
    Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. ~George Eliot

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    1,404
    I should add our boys were little (under a year old )
    ~ "How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers."~ Mother Teresa

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