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  1. #131
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    783
    This is an interesting thread, Augusta.

    My two cents: my little sister was given a boyish name at the time. Its pretty much equally unisex now, but at the time was more used on boys. And she got a lot of people who heard her name and assumed she was a boy, which really affected her self-esteem. She became really obsessed with her weight/appearance in elementary school and by high school had been in at least 3 abusive relationships. This is entirely anecdotal. I'm fully aware not every girl will be so sensitive to their name, but because i saw what my sister went through back then, it frustrates me that parents seem to think so little of how their daughter might feel about the name they give.

    I also think its a bit sexist, because there are millions of names that belong solely to the girls. I don't buy the argument that only a masculine name *fit* your daughter. And because boy names are "crossing over" to girls, the names become "unusable" on boys. I've posted several times about an acquaintance of mine who insisted that once a name is used on a girl it becomes "tainted with femininity."

    Its a very subtle form of anti-feminism, to me, but one important to discuss because it affects us so much. Because the entire idea behind it is that feminine = inferior. And i realize that in many cases that is subconscious, but its there nonetheless. If you think Emerson on a girl is "fresh and cool," but the idea of naming a boy Rachel or Emily makes you cringe, congratulations, you are buying into the notion that femininity is inferior.

    But i think there are also bad consequences for boys as well. Because boy names are "tainted with femininity" (i hope you can hear my blood boiling at that phrase), parents are less willing to use them, and girl names obviously aren't an option to them. So what do they do? They name their little boys the most masculine word they can think of; as I've also mentioned before, i know little boys named things like Rage, Riot, Chaos, Trigger, Pistol, etc. My sister knows a boy named Tyrant. This strikes me as problematic. Are people defined by their names? Not necessarily. But think of what those boys will go through. What will employers think of them? What about college admissions?

    There's more I'd like to say on the subject, but I'm writing this from a dying phone in an area with spotty service, and I'm not half so eloquent as most of you. I'll try again later from a laptop
    I hope to be a mom one day. For now I enjoy being a name lover.

    My apologies for any typos; i post from my mobile phone.

  2. #133
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Great Lakes
    Posts
    1,480
    Quote Originally Posted by sam6794 View Post
    Everyone has a different opinion on which names are unisex and which ones are not. Where i find Logan, Dylan, Spencer, Ryan, Elliot, Conner, Evan and Tyler, to be strictly masculine names, some people view them as unisex, and frankly once a child is given a name it becomes acceptable for their gender, whether you like it or not.
    Just because a girl is named James or Michael doesn't mean the name automatically becomes acceptable to use on that gender.

    I guess what i am trying to say is everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and unless a parent asks for it, i don't think anyone has the right to judge them or question the name they chose for their child, or why they chose it.
    People are judged for a multitude of reasons every day. You judge people daily, whether you want to admit it (or whether you realize it) or not. That "jerk" who just cut you off? Yeah, you're judging him. That "b****" who didn't hold the elevator door for you? Yeah, you're judging her, too. It's human nature to judge someone, whether it's for their actions or because of their name, it ultimately doesn't matter.
    ** The opinions expressed above are not meant to be reflective of Nameberry as a whole but are my opinion and mine alone. **

    Mommy to:
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  3. #135
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    291
    I'm jumping in late, and most of my thoughts/feelings/experiences have already been expressed. I was chanting, "Yup. Yup. YUP!," as I read through the thread.

    @scarletune I grew up with a girl with the middle name of Michael. She didn't mind it except when silly children called her Michael Jackson...I don't know. Children are creative.

    I also have had a student with the middle name Michael. He is a boy. However, he is named after his Auntie Michael.

    Even with these experiences, it still shows off how sexist our culture is. It is perfectly acceptable to name a girl Michael but not to name a boy Michaela.

    The actual solution to this seems like it will take generations to change. More and more parents will need the realization and the umph to go with what they love in a name, regardless of gender-ties or lack-there-of.
    mamacravings.com
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    Blessed mama to 3 year-old Elijah Myles & to 6 precious angels babies.

    crushes:
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  4. #137
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Great Lakes
    Posts
    1,480
    So if your next child is a son, name him Elaina or Emelia since you love the name so much. If you love it, use it regardless of gender ties.
    ** The opinions expressed above are not meant to be reflective of Nameberry as a whole but are my opinion and mine alone. **

    Mommy to:
    Henry Nathaniel (3) and Julia Paige (1)

    Current favorites:
    Bennett - Emmett - Felix - Oliver - Owen - Preston - Samuel
    Abigail - Claire - Clara - Hope - Lydia - Maude - Molly

  5. #139
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    291
    Which is great in theory...but I wouldn't go through with it. I also picture my Emelia or Elaina as little girls. Is it hypocritical? Does it play into the anti-feminist movement? Certainly. But isn't that the conundrum when change needs to be made? It's certainly difficult for me to think of using my children as the poster-kids for gender equality in naming. Obviously it's flawed thinking/behavior, but there it is none-the-less.
    mamacravings.com
    Everything a mama could want

    Blessed mama to 3 year-old Elijah Myles & to 6 precious angels babies.

    crushes:
    Amelia Wren, Charlotte Adair, Josepine Elise, Genevieve Ruth, Susanna Caroline, Cordelia Mae

    Josiah Davis, Charles Asher, Jeremiah August, Lawrence Henry

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