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  1. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Great Lakes
    Posts
    1,480
    Did you know these girls?
    ** The opinions expressed above are not meant to be reflective of Nameberry as a whole but are my opinion and mine alone. **

    Mommy to:
    Henry Nathaniel (3) and Julia Paige (1)

    Current favorites:
    Bennett - Emmett - Felix - Oliver - Owen - Preston - Samuel
    Abigail - Claire - Clara - Hope - Lydia - Maude - Molly

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    150
    I could ask you a lot of questions, but really none of the answers would matter because simply put...

    You can't get mad at how you allow yourself to be treated.

    I don't allow myself to waste one second on anyone that doesn't treat me the way I want to be treated. Period.
    James ~ Ariston

    Aurelia ~ Sidra ~ Elizabeth ~ Gia ~ Julia


    The others I hold close.... Quade ~ William (Liam) ~ Dresden ~ Giordana ~ Lydiana ~ Laurenza ~ Vivara ~ Fonya ~ Sagelle

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    1,109
    Honestly, and I don't mean to sound harsh, but it sounds like you are in a juvenile relationship. It has nothing to do with age, I know plenty of couples in their thirties who are in juvenile relationships. If you don't trust him at a party alone, whether there are girls or not, that's not good. Drinking should not even be in the picture, getting drunk is not an excuse to do things you normally wouldn't do. Don't ever take that as an excuse. If my husband goes out, the only thing I worry about is his safety. The farthest thing from my mind is cheating and the like. I've actually never had to worry about it, even when we were first dating. He's just not that type of guy.

    I kind of remember you being young. If you are 19 or 20, and dating a 19 or 20 year old guy... odds are you are more mature and want different things out of life sooner. Most 19 year old guys do not want weddings and babies, and if they tell you they do, they're probably lying.
    My cherished daughter, Rowan Jane. ~b. 10/2011~


    Sawyer ~ Aven ~ Elowen ~ Sage ~ Eilonwy ~ Eleanor
    Morgan ~ Asher ~ ___ ~ ___ ~ Currently trying to fill the blanks...


    Trying for #2 in January 2014.

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    2,042
    I think I would be angry about a few things:
    1. He's being a hypocrite if he gets angry when you drink and sees no problem doing it himself. Pick one.
    2. I'd be a little upset w/ A for making a big show about your relationship issue, seems unnecessary.
    3. I'd be very upset that he called your parents home after he'd been drinking.

    You guys are so young, honestly there will likely be times you both mess up when it comes to drinking. I think the lack of trust is a bigger issue...you can't guarantee he won't be around women (sober or after a few) just like he can't be sure you won't be around men. So cliche, but you really need to trust each other to make a relationship work.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,169
    From what it sounds like, this isn't a very "mature" or stable relationship. A relationship is built on trust AND respect.

    I understand how you feel because when I first started dating my husband, he would go to parties and drink. I had a fear of people who drink a lot or get drunk often. So I would let him do his thing, but wouldn't go with him or hang out with him while he was drinking. It wasn't till things got complicated where he wanted to go out with his friends, but spend time with me, and thus wanted me to go with him. It was then I made it clear that I would not be comfortable with him if he was drinking. (This was early on in the relationship, he was older than me, and I was underage, so couldn't drink) He knew before that, that I didn't drink and didn't plan to (at the time).

    So we finally talked about it and basically he RESPECTED me and didn't drink around me, even when his friends pressured him. Because of this I felt safe and knew I could trust him and in time he helped me ease out of my fear and now I trust him enough that he can drink whenever he wants, but he doesn't get drunk anymore, he grew out that "party phase". I even drink now, but never enough to get drunk. I still don't trust drunk people and probably never will for personal reasons.

    So depending on your reasoning, I'm not sure if what people are saying about trust is true or not. Trusting someone while their sober vs while their drunk are 2 different things. Drunk people do a lot of stupid/hurtful things.

    Also arguing while these people were drunk was probably not the best idea either. If you want to have successful argument, wait till he's sober and then discuss it with him. Getting them all worked up while their drunk basically resulted in the stupid fight between his friend and you and your father.

    As for "needing" your "permission", I don't think that is really necessary. He shouldn't need your "permission" to hang out with friends or other girls unless A) you have other plans or B) you're married/living together.

    HOWEVER, I agree that it's okay to be upset over the double-standard. If he can't trust you then why should he expect you to trust him?

    I definitely think you two need to talk - sober.
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