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  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by inkonherfingers View Post
    I am one of five children, ages 17, 15, 13, 11, and 7. The three boys in the middle have been close buddies since they were small, so the age gap works well for them. The oldest (me) and youngest are girls, and being 10 years apart, we have a very different relationship - less of buddies and more of her being my little doll. Overall, the age gap has assisted and not hindered our relationship.

    I would definitely recommend having a larger family if that works for you because growing up with lots of siblings is so much fun and teaches kids how to interact with others. I would like to have 4-6 children, each between 1.5 and 2 years apart.

    That's how my sister and I are, too. I was always dressing her up and doing her hair - just like a doll. Even at 13, lol, I still play dress up and stuff with her.

  2. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Southlake, Texas
    Posts
    492
    I don't have any children, but I'm the second of four. I have three brothers, one older and two younger, and we're all pretty spaced out.
    Tyler -ttwenty-years-old,
    Myself - nearly seventeen,
    Davis - ten-years-old,
    Jake- six-years-old.
    (We all have the same mother, but us middle ones, Davis and I, have a different father than the other two boys.)
    Seventeen. Ravenclaw. Passions: art, theatre, music, yoga, meditation, naming, and reading.
    (Changing my name to Zoie Willow.)

    For a future...
    Ever-so Darling Daughter:
    Opal Eleanor ~ Harmony Ophelia Maude ~ Cecily Henrietta Mae ~ Lavender Elaine

    Splendid Son:
    Sebastian Bodhi - Hugo Alistair -
    Augustus Grey - Phineas Alexander "Finn"

  3. #15
    I suppose we're one of these larger families now! We are also a mixed family with stepkids on both sides. So we have 17yo Ryan and Joseph from my previous relationship who live with us atm but will be going to university next year and 14yo Lucas from my husbands previous relationship who spends every other weekend with us. Then we have our kids together 5yo Nigel, 22m Claire and I'm currently expecting our last (gender currently unknown!). I had Ry and Joe very very young so they were a part of me going into our "family" and you could argue are basically adults now. LJ is more of a very close cousin in the family dynamics - he's an only child and seems to love his time with us - it can get a bit contentious when it comes to sharing things but he's getting there. The huge jump in age difference was mainly based on my age and relationship status: I was 28 and married 18m when I had Nigel as opposed to being 16 and alone with twin boys - that teaches a hard lesson!

    Looking at the differences between LJ and the rest of my rabble I would say that large families are better for teaching cooperation and sharing etc. but equally we just can't spend as much time individually as LJ gets from his mum. So, I don't think loads of kids is necessarily better than just 1 etc - you just have different areas you have to try harder to meet each individual kids needs. Although, I think about 2-4 is a good number hence why we shall be stopping at 3 with our "second family"! I really don't think there is a "best number" but the more you have the smaller the impact another kid has on your ability to cope!

    Hope that's of some help to you, Sarah

  4. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    199
    We're a family of 5 kids - our eldest is spaced farther than the others we have gaps of 5yrs, 10m (result of being lax about birth control post no.2!), 19m and about 3minutes! (our last 2 were twins!). We had always planned for 4 spaced 1-2 years each but several early miscarriages prevented this initially and then number 4 was 2! Our youngest 4 are still all under 3years. I can tell you that having that many infants/toddlers at the same time is extremely challenging! The logistics of going out for the day with all kids is a nightmare - we use 2 double strollers and bring a sling for one of the twins in case our eldest needs to sit! I'm hoping that our eldest will be sensible enough not to need to be held onto by the time the other 4 are all walking - so we'll have one hand for each of them! I'd say 4 is enough - if you go over 5 then I agree with Sarah that it probably doesn't matter how many more you have! As far as age gaps I'd say ideally not having more than 2 that are 1. mobile and 2. that you can't reason with at the same time! So that would be about a 2y gap. I just think of when you are on your own with them - you need a hand for each! Fran x

  5. #19
    Oh Fran- you have your hands full!

    In my family of origin I am one of 4- there are three girls (I am number 2) that are all stair-stepped 2 years apart. My brother is 11 years younger than me and 9 years between him and my younger sister. I think in most families the closeness in age is a blessing and a curse- it was with us. On one side we had constant playmates but on the other the fights were epic and the amount of crying during PMS probably kept the neighbors talking.

    My little brother, on the other hand, was so much fun! My mom had eager babysitters and he and I were particularly close- I was like a second mom. The hardest thing was that I moved away to college when he was 7 and it was really rough on him- he had trouble at school and it took him a long time to adjust.
    Mama to little Ramona Mae 3/2011 and Sylvie Joy born 11/2013

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