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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    2

    Family name for one child and not the other?

    Is it fair/ok/acceptable to give one child a family name when the first child doesn't have one? We picked our daughter's name for its meaning and because we loved it. But it has no connection to either my family or my husband's family. Now as we think about a name for our son, we are leaning towards giving him the same middle name as my husband - Alexander. Are we inadvertently offending our daughter, having not given her a family name? Is it weird for father and son to share a middle name, but not the entire name (as in a junior)?

    Thanks for the insight!

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    356
    No, don't do it. I'm speaking from experience and being from a family that experienced that same situation. Years of sadness and controversy.

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Northern Virginia/DC metro area
    Posts
    2,595
    Both of my brothers and I have middle names honoring a family member, while my sister's middle name was chosen because it sounded good. She's never had a problem with being the odd one out; I think it's perfectly fine!
    Gwen
    College student, bookworm, terrible influence.
    Owner of a cat: Minerva "Minnie"


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  4. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    688
    It depends on the child really. Some children will care and others will not. It's impossible to know in advance if a child will care so I personally would not give one child a family name and not the other.
    Last edited by christabel; March 6th, 2013 at 03:22 PM.
    My Top Names:
    Bernice, Clara, Harlow, Harper, Lillian, Mabel, Rosemarie

    Alden, Davis, Glenn, Eugene, Harley, Peter, Rudy

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    179
    I think it depends on your family. You know them best - do you suspect they would have a problem with it? Moreover, do you feel uncomfortable with it?

    I have no children and may not ever, but I have names "on hold." My girl's name has no familial connection (her middle name would be my best friend's name, her godmother); my boy's middle name honors my father, but in a very nontraditional way. The closest I'd get to going back and honoring any other family would be with my second and third choices for girls' middle names, and I am NOT having that many children, so that's not going to happen. But I'm very distant from most of my family, geographically and emotionally, so my situation may be different than yours.

    Personally, I cannot imagine having a problem with it from a family perspective. But you know your family better than we do.

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