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Thread: Gender Stereotyping
April 17th, 2013 12:08 AM #96Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
April 17th, 2013 05:43 PM #98
Hearts were in the right place, but too far?
April 19th, 2013 05:54 PM #100
DO exist. They are a part of life."Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few books should be chewed and digested thoroughly."
April 19th, 2013 06:48 PM #102Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
I don't want to start responding individually to opinions and arguments in this thread, I think many good points have been made and a few points which I would question, but I wanted to jump in and say how I'm planning on approaching gender stereotypes with my child.
I will raise my child as the gender which corresponds to the sex they are born with. This means if they are a boy, I will use boy pronouns. I will put them in boy clothes. If they are a girl, I will use girl pronouns. They will wear pink and dresses. If they are a boy, I will buy them boy toys. I will also buy them a play kitchen. I will buy them baby dolls. Because many of the successful, masculine adult men I know take care of their babies, and cook. And the ones who don't probably wish they could so they didn't have to eat takeout 6 nights a week. If I have a daughter, I will buy her cars. I drive a car. Her grandmother drives a car. All of her aunts, female teachers, etc. will drive cars.
If my son, at three years old, wants a pink teddy bear, I will buy him a pink teddy bear. And if he wants to wear a dress, he can wear a dress. I will explain to him that usually, women wear dresses/paint their nails/use cosmetics, but he is welcome to use these things at appropriate times for pretend play or dress up. In my opinion, appropriate times would be at home - maybe even at family events or close friend's houses, but at that age, not at school or in public.
When my child is old enough to understand and discuss cultural stereotypes as well as cisgendered norms, and old enough to comprehend the reality and repercussions that a transgendered person, queer person, or even just a publicly cross-dressing person faces, if they'd like to be posing as the opposite gender, wearing the opposite gender's clothes, referring to their self as "he" or "she" in a way we did not refer to them growing up, I will support that. Whether that happens at 7, or 15, or 30. But to me, that is 100% a different conversation. Allowing your toddler or young child to enjoy activities typically reserved for the opposite gender is not going to make them gay or transgendered or even "sissy". And preventing your child from doing these things sure as heck isn't going to guarantee they come out molded nicely into the stereotypes of the gender you want them to be.
~I will teach my children what the societal norms expected of different genders are. I will teach them what society largely expects of a "proper lady" or a "strong man".
~I will also teach them that many wonderful individuals do not fit into these guidelines, and at some point, they might decide they are one of those individuals.
~I will teach them that I will support them in whatever career, clothing, identify, sexual orientation, etc. they so choose.
~I will teach both my sons and my daughters to be nurturing, empathetic, and self-sufficient in a home setting.
~I will teach both my sons and daughters to be courageous and the skills they need to provide for themselves and their future families.
The rest is going to be up to them.
April 20th, 2013 08:47 PM #104
My husband and I promised each other before we started TTC the first time that we were not going to enforce gender stereotypes like that. So far, Bea has proven to be very feminine, though.
I completely understand what kala_way means about parents who are overzealous about raising "gender-neutral" kids. Ultimately, it's whatever your child wants to do. Don't force your son into playing soccer when he wants to take dance class, but don't do that to your daughter either. If kids happen to not fit in (or fit in) with gender stereotypes, that's fine, but don't force them to be one way or the other.♥ DD ~ Beatrice Rowan 17.05.2010 ♥
♥ ??? ~ 27.01.2014♥
* Amelie ~ Elizabeth ~ Sophie ~ Rose ~ London ~ Adeline ~ Mireille ~ Eve ~ Ruby ~ Violet ~ Isabelle *
* Bennett ~ Gavin ~ James ~ Charles ~ Grey ~ Matthew ~ Luke ~ Rory ~ Lysander *