When it's THE name, but your partner disagrees?

[kala_way]

It really annoys me that he is always vetoing my names, but he doesn't make any suggestions.

I personally find that unacceptable. I've heard it happen over and over, but if I were in that situation I would not accept it. I would ask that equal rated lists were made and then each name removed from a list be accompanied by the removal of a similarly rated name from the other list and that no name be removed with an explanation and/or discussion.

[caroline147]

I don't know, for me a name isn't perfect unless my partner loves it too. I've grown to love Annora and Walter so much more because he loves them, and he's grown to love Juliet and Edmund because I love them. Hopefully that might happen for you guys too

[balloonsforellie]

So many great suggestions! You're right, cygnus. He doesn't like the names that are unfamiliar. And I really like your method, linazilla!

[kitkat]

I am in this EXACT situation. Absolutely in love with the name gemma and think about it all the time. Will be ttc soon so already thinking of ways to get him on board but I honestly don't think it will happen. And I do think it b/c its unfamiliar (to him) b/c he said it sounds "made up" -which as we all know is ridiculous. For now I said until he cracks a baby name book and offers some sugeestions himself, I get full naming rites (half kidding of course ...and half not). When it comes time to sign the birth certificate can I just hit him over the head with a frying pan and sign it myself? Thanks for asking this question because you are not alone!

[augusta_lee]

I'll probably get flack for this, but I'm of the opinion that the partner gestating and birthing the child gets final say in their name. This goes double if the other partner only vetoes names without giving any serious suggestions. That said, if your partner absolutely totally and completely HATES the name you chose and would rather name the kid Burger King than, say, Calla, then you should probably move on. If it's just knee-jerk negativity, however...he needs to get over it.

[balloonsforellie]

So glad to know, kitkat! We should form a support group or something. Lol and I completely agree with you, augusta_lee.

[sharbear]

Also, don't be so sure he will ever pick a name. My husband refused to look at names with me and vetoed everything I liked - now my little girl is six months old and I'm facing a legal name change because we ended up with the wrong name - because in the end he just randomly picked a name off a list "that he didn't hate". Lovely. I refuse to have my daughter named something that random, so I'm changing it once I figure out what her name is SUPPOSED to be!!!

[missusaytch]

Yes this has happened to me in the exact same way with the exact same name. Ha! And many others.

Agree with Ottilie and others - dudes are not generally name nerds. They'll talk about it - begrudgingly - once you're pregnant.

My hubs couldn't be less interested, but he doesn't mind if I bring up the subject occasionally because he knows it helps me think positively and visualize the baby, which is important to me as we are TTC and needing medical intervention. (I had surgery yesterday.) So he is understanding but I don't overdo it. Our boys name has been picked out for a while, and if our girls name doesn't change from what we've chosen I'll be happy, but it may be discussed more.

My husband has shot down my favorite names, but since you're not pregnant you have plenty of time to gently, slowly, acclimate him to your favorites. Without being annoying. If that's possible, since they don't care about names like we do. :-)

I'm slowly, little by little, in tiny increments, making my husband understand the days of Kimberly and Jennifer are over, and your child will not be seen as an utter freak because she is named Helena. Or Calla. Or Frances. He still thinks Stella is an "old Italian lady with a mustache." Uh, times have changed, buddy. He is 43 and grew up in a small southern city. So... He's got some learning to do about naming.

Just take it slow, don't be annoying, and don't expect miracles. Remember it's his baby too, and if he hates the name, it's not the name.

Luck!

[erykah200]

Hey, hope I don't sound dumb, but what does the D in DH stand for? I know the H means husband I can't figure out what the d is....

[renrose]

Hey, hope I don't sound dumb, but what does the D in DH stand for? I know the H means husband I can't figure out what the d is....

I think it's 'dear'. I've never understood it myself, lol.