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January 31st, 2013 11:43 PM #16
I doubt this will be any help at all to you but I can't believe how much the same boat I am in as you. My daughter's name is Mikayla and my son is Riley...our third is due in March and like you we can't seem to find the right name...and like you we have also been leaning toward the name Evelyn.
We like Evie but the only way we found to get to that was through Evelyn...which kinda has old lady connotations to us now because of how much my mother went on about it sounding like it belonged in a nursing home. Ugh! Now we are considering just using Evie and skipping the formal name altogether, we aren't sure though because we haven't found a name that really fits the style of Mikayla and Riley. When we chose their names we didn't know anyone with them...now we have met several. I am very leary of picking too popular of a name having been one of at least 3 or 4 Kelly/Kellie's in every class I was ever in.
We have also considered Meredith or Meredy...and Melody or Elodie...
We will be using Eileen for her middle name regardless. I know this doesn't help any, but you definitely aren't alone in your naming struggles and I just had to post something seeing as we have so many things in common with our issues. I really hope you find the name that speaks to you for your little girl. Best of luck.
January 31st, 2013 11:56 PM #18
@courtney-- does your husband believe in your mom's psychic abilities? Does he feel strong-armed into a name he doesn't care for?
I do think Meredith is a wonderful name, and a much better stylistic fit with your other children. If you (and kellie above) would like a modern Evie long form, what about Ever, Everly, Evanne, or spelling it Evaline?XY: Antoine Raphael (3.1.2012)
XX: Cassia Viviane Noor (11.30.2013)
February 1st, 2013 12:06 AM #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
Hey Courtney. Wow. I have some thoughts - take them or leave them.
So I believe that there are many subtle ways of perceiving energy.. subtext, gesture, spatial relationships between people, body language and postural patterns that hint at people's deeply held beliefs, life experiences, and habits. And I know that people can perceive some of these things in ways that aren't straightforward. The brain looks for symmetry and metaphor and wants to describe an intangible sense, a waft, a smell, as a spirit or an omen.. I do not judge. I have gone way far out into weird spiritual experiment land. But I feel that in those circles, psychics, energy-healers, shamans, gurus - there is a LOT of room for ego to get in the way, there is a LOT of manipulation by people who start to believe that they have the power. There's a vocabulary, a way of framing this stuff - it makes me angry. I think it's a kind of laziness - it's nice to be in a position of authority rather than to communicate your subtler feelings in a vulnerable way. Your mom didn't say, "I have this feeling about the baby.. I feel her presence very powerfully and I get such a sense of delicacy and sweetness - I don't know what it is, but I feel like Evelyn would be so fitting for her." She basically said, "Her spirit comes through me. She says her name is Evelyn." There is SUCH manipulation in that. Even if she did truly experience the intuition as a "spirit," it would have been RESPECTFUL of you to communicate that sense to you in a way that allowed space for your own name-choice as the baby's mother. I work in a field where I make physical observations.. lots of them are intuitive. Most of the time I'm right. But I make sure that I stay honest by never believing that I know more about people than they know about themselves, and by never believing that I'm special (my ego or laziness gets in the way sometimes so I need to be extremely vigilant.)
I feel strongly about this, so I'm sorry if I'm being too forceful with my opinion. I'm sure your mother has tons of love for you and the best intentions, but I'd guess that there's a way in which she's begun to deceive herself about the observations that she makes, the subtle stuff that she perceives. She said the baby's name was Evelyn, and now you're leaning toward Evelyn... How would you have responded if your mom said, "I say the baby must be named Evelyn!" rather than "The baby says her name is Evelyn"? Would she have gotten her way?
Devil's advocate: Perhaps she was Evelyn in a former life? :-b
Bottom line - Your mother got to name you. Now you get to name your own babies. Do you often let her make these kinds of decisions for you? Was she in the habit of consulting her crystal ball when you were dating people she disliked, wearing too much eyeliner, etc?
Again, sorry to be a little aggressive here. Your story just kind of put my hair on end.
February 1st, 2013 02:23 AM #22Junior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2012
Blade I don't know how he really feels about it because it is so hard to get him to discuss names or the name issue in general. I don't want him to feel that way because this baby was a bit of a surprise, we weren't planning on having a 4th child and it sent him into shock for awhile. I don't want to give him a reason to not bond with her because he despises her name. I don't know where he sits with my mother's ability. I think he's a bit of a skeptic like me. I suggested Everly when he originally vetoed Evelyn but he didn't like that either... he's picky with his trendy names. He didn't really like any of the Eve- suggestions. If I went with Meredith I would possibly use the nickname Edie, that's similar to Evie.
Emmabobemma - I understand what you are saying and I think that's where some of my cold feet is coming from, I almost feel like my ability to choose her name has been taken away from me. And no I don't usually let her make any decisions for me at all. The problem I have now is if we don't call her Evelyn my step - father is a bit of a jerk and will spend her whole life telling her that we were supposed to name her Evelyn and didn't.
I guess if we did choose another name and she truly grew up believing her name was Evelyn I could direct her to this site in 20 years and she can get advice on changing it
February 1st, 2013 02:55 AM #24Senior Member
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- Sep 2012