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January 21st, 2013 12:38 AM #26Senior Member
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- Apr 2011
January 21st, 2013 01:06 AM #28Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
Not trying to be rude, but I think boys names on girls are tacky. Not to mention that a girl named Spencer would automatically be the victim of everlasting ridicule. Kids are mean! That name is way too masculine. Unless you give her a girly nickname to use all the time like Cece or Penny.
If you really like boys names for girls, I think you should give your daughter a girly name and then shorten it to a more male-friendly one. Here's what I mean:
Or you could just give her an actual girls name without shortening it or anything like that. I mean, there's tons of wonderful girls names out there, so why give her a boys one? Seriously, you may just give her a complex...
January 21st, 2013 01:58 AM #30
January 21st, 2013 02:10 AM #32
I think, if there's a very good reason you wish to gender-bend, it can be OK. If your mother's maiden name was Spencer, for example, your daughter Spencer would have a go-to line to stave off teasing; and your name choice wouldn't be seen as unusual, but logical.
I also think some people gender-bend because they find it provocative, and maybe it was 40 years ago, but the modern world won't find Spencer daring and outre on a girl.
Thirdly, a lot of this gender-bending is really only skin deep. If you want to name her Spencer but call her Penny or Ceri or something, it's clear that you have pretty traditional notions of gender and at the end of the day want a daughter to more or less be a typical, female little girl.
Lastly, if you think this will bestow some kind of career advantage, it will not. I work in a heavily male-dominated field (general surgery is 35% female when it comes to trainees, <15% female overall, and my chosen subspecialty-- heart transplants-- is less than 5% female). Women in surgery have difficulties because they do things like get pregnant, not because they're called Jessica or Anne. In fact, I almost feel a woman surgeon named Douglas would set things back for us a few decades, by again reinforcing the notion that one has to be masculine, have a Y chromosome, etc in order to be taken seriously.
Spencer, in particular, was a surname before it was a given name. Back when it was a straight-up surname, it was relatively genderless; now, though, there are a couple of centuries of weight behind it being a male name, which isn't really worth contravening for a reason as weak as "I like the sound of it."Blade, MD
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January 21st, 2013 03:32 AM #34Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
I really don't like this trend! I much prefer when I hear a name that the person attached to it happens to be the original gender for the name. (You see Sarah on paper and a female comes out, not a male. You see Spencer on paper and a male comes out.) And Spencer is ALL male to me. Also, if you decide to have more children and another happens to be a girl you're bound to have to use another unisex (unisex, not male name on a girl, there is a difference to me). Since you like this trend it might not be a big deal. But if you had Spencer Jane first, then had Julianna Marie most people would assume you had a boy and a girl. This could get very annoying for Spencer to constantly have to say "Nope. My name is Spencer. Yes it is a boys name.". I have a friend who wants kids and has 2 super masculine names picked out for girls.
I know a few families that have more than one child and naming gets hard when this starts:
Jack, Tobin nn Toby, Milo and Carson Jane (Carson being the girl, obviously). She will go through her whole life with people assuming SHE is a HE.
Ezra Grae and Ember Ane (2 girls, they had a REALLY hard time finding a name for #2 because girl #1 has an all boy name!)
Spencer Lynn (yes, female), mom is named Tylar, pronounced ty-lar (like the beginning of larva or Lara Bar)
Krystofer Alicia nn Krysti (girl, obviously), Sarah Louise, James Donovan and Draven Scott (I'm Sarah and Krysti is my sister, and she has always hated having a boy name and very few people that she's met the last several years even know her full fn is Krystofer because she hates it so much. Especially the calls and letters addressed to MR. Krystofer ---!)
All that to say, I HATE this trend (you wanted honesty!), but everyone likes different names and you should pick one you love. And she will have Jane to fall back on in case she decided she didn't like Spencer...