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January 19th, 2013 05:37 PM #1Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
Will Tradition Hurt Her Feelings?
My husband and I often discuss what we will name our future children, mainly because I'm obsessed with names! But we're planning to get pregnant within the next year so it's time to start making an actual list of possibilities. While he at least entertains my suggestions, he's pretty set on naming our son Charles Joseph V (there's absolutely no importance to the name - his family just lacks creativity and each dad continued the naming tradition). I, on the other hand, don't care for the whole "name him after the dad" or "Jr." trend. I guess a fifth generation is slightly better than a junior but I'm still not sold.
One of my concerns is that if we go with that for our son, will our daughter's feelings be hurt because she's not named after a long line of family members? We're leaning toward Rachel Catherine (middle name after my grandmother) but aside from the middle name there's no family ties whatsoever. Should we use my name as her middle name to give her a strong tie to the family since she'll never know my grandmother (she's deceased)?
On that same note, will our son be bitter that he didn't get an original name?
I've suggested original first names and our names are middles. Or completely original names. My husband just lvoes the idea of having a fifth generation of the same name.
Would you carry on the naming tradition or go with something original?
January 19th, 2013 06:23 PM #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Worthing, West Sussex, UK
Everybody is different. Some people love tradition and some people prefer choosing an entirely different name. It's between you and your partner, and you both should feel happy with that decision. If I was in your circumstance, then I would choose an original first name, and use the Charles Joseph as two middle names, then if you have a daughter, do the same, original first and one or two family middles. Each child is different though, and some children might feel hurt if they do not have a family name and other children will prefer being on of a kind. Sometimes you can never tell, so just choosing a name that feels right and suits you child is really the important thing. There is always the option of calling him CJ for short, or choosing different names beginning with a C and a J (e.g. Caleb Joshua), then you still have the connection with the letters but have a separate identity.
Personally, I would rather my own original name, but like I said, everyone is different and you can't always please everybody. A name that you and your partner love and suits your child is what you should go for, regardless of what anyone else thinks.Hala
Proud Mummy to Kyan & Connor xxx
January 19th, 2013 06:34 PM #5
I don't think a daughter would feel weird. My brother is a third generation of males with "R" first names and the middle name Lawrence and I haven't thought twice about it. I wasn't named after anyone at all and I'm perfectly fine. . . kids do understand that it is a male line thing if you tell them.
Alexander Owen ~ Patrick Thomas ~ Jeremy Shea ~ Nolan Jack ~ Conor Arlo ~ Evan Daniel ~ Samuel Mark
Nora ~ Claire ~ Stella ~ Maura ~ Madeleine ~ Violet ~ Victoria ~ Ava ~ Gabrielle ~ Leah ~ Soleil
January 19th, 2013 11:51 PM #7
Obviously the carrying on of the family name is very important to your husband, so I wouldn't dismiss it lightly. In my family the oldest girl gets the mn Joanne (or a spelling equivalent). I'm the 3rd generation, oldest female and I'm very glad that my parents decided to continue this tradition. There were times when I was younger that I hated my fn, but never my mn because I absolutely loved it's family connection. I think your son would be proud to have such a strong family name rooted in tradition. Charles Joseph does have true weight and meaning to your husband, because of all the men that bore the name before him.
Also, I don't think any future children (who weren't named after family OR only had one of their names after a relative) would be jealous of a family name. I am a twin, and since I was born a few minutes before my sister, I got the family mn and my sister didn't. Actually, out of all my siblings, she is the only one who wasn't named after a single family member. Now my parents didn't plan on this, it's just how it happened. But it has NEVER been an issue. She loves her name!
So I guess what I'm trying to say is, it won't be an issue with your children unless, of course, you make it an issue. Rachel Catherine is a lovely name and will be even more dear to your daughter if you tell her stories about her grandma. Having a family connection with at least one of your names is always a bonus, though not a necessity.Mama of two beautiful boys!
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
January 19th, 2013 11:59 PM #9
I would love the idea of having a fifth. My husband is a junior but we're not using it. We don't feel bad about it but I think we might if he were a 5th.
As for the daughter, I really don't see her feeling bad about it. Probably the opposite. It's fairly common in families for firstborn sons to be juniors and everyone else to be less traditional.
I have the same first name as my mom - Marla - tho we both go by our middles. I kind of almost wish she didn't give me that name, just because she didn't really like it. They couldn't decide on a first, and they were about to leave the hospital and had to name me something. (They were already calling me by my middle.) My mom hated Marla, and I kind of do too. So even tho it was traditional, I wish she had named me something she loved. Her first pick was Natalie but my dad didn't like it or something.
Bottom line is, tradition isn't everything and if you choose a name you adore I think your daughter will appreciate that most of all.
Last edited by missusaytch; January 20th, 2013 at 12:02 AM.Mrs. H.
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