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Thread: Name depression

  1. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    2,140
    LOL... really I did.
    I discuss possible names for a future child with my DH and 3 kids.
    DH "whatever you like" (BLESS HIM!!!!)
    DS 20 likes Indo/ boho names- Delilah, Terzia, Rhys, Braden
    DD 19 likes traditonal/ quirky -Elena, Lucy, Leo, Alexander
    DD 15 likes names of her peers- Courtney, Alicia, Tyler, Harry

    Just when I think I have found 'the one' someone drags it down with an eye roll or two.
    In the end I drive myself crazy trying to pick something everyone approves of.
    When I look back at choosing my other kids name I didn't tell anyone- they adjusted.

    Hard as it is, just go with what you like.

    A thought on Tyne- could you use a more 'popular' type name as a longer version then shorten it to the nn Tyne and thus win everyone over? Eg the name Tyson nn Tyne or maybe the initials Ty(FN) with an N name eg Tyler Nathaniel (Ty..N).

    Emilia
    Phoebe Eliza Grace arrived after 2 Years of IVF

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Western Pennsylvania
    Posts
    1,227
    Quote Originally Posted by east93 View Post
    If you really want input, have everyone make a list of their top 5 names, and say you want ideas. Then leave it at that, be firm in that you won't announce the name until after your baby is born. Also, technically your father only has 1/8th of the baby...the paternal grandparents weren't factored in.
    I agree, but I would also add the caveat that their negativity will no longer be tolerated, and if your mom wants to be included in further conversations about baby anything (not the names) she should apologize for saying she'd be ashamed of your choice. That's absolutely crossing a civilized line, AND placing your sister's choices higher than yours. Big no no's. And if anybody throws a fit about your name after he's born, don't allow them to come visit until they remember how decent people conduct themselves. They need to treat you and your choices with RESPECT.

    It's one thing to enjoy approval, but you have to stress to them that this issue is important to you, and they're actually causing you stress and making you deeply unhappy. It's an unacceptable situation.
    Not so done having children after all. We're not ready for TTC quite yet but when we do get pregnant,the husband handed sole naming rights over to his name obsessed wife!

    Bouncing Baby Boy: Tristan Marcel * Ambrose Galahad* Gabriel Beauregard
    Little Lady: Josephine Adele * Lena Josephine* Lorelei Nicole* Fleur Josephine

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    London, England
    Posts
    5,340
    Hayley, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I know it's been tough on you, it is hard when people, especially our parents, say these horrible things about the names we love. I think the worst thing is how she compared your names to your sisters, that's really unfair and quite mean (I'm sorry to say this about your mum, I'm sure she's lovely but I get upset on your behalf here!), and the comment on being ashamed to call out Tyne in public. I'm all for people giving their opinions but that's not the way to do it. I agree with the others that you should stop sharing your choices, but I get that it's difficult. It's normal (at least for people in happy families) to ask for advice in these matters. But if she is going to keep on beating them with a stick, you need to stop.

    I'm super close with my family, so even though I didn't intend to I told them about my list and it was literally beaten to death with the most gruesome comments and evil laughter you can imagine. My boyfriend's mother actually made a similar remark about Belphoebe, how no one would ever take a person with that name seriously. So now I won't be telling them any names until she/he is named.

    Anyways, lots of hugs to you!
    [FONT=Palatino Linotype][CENTER]My darling Marian Illyria Aphrodite, March 2013 & Little Bunny (a girl!) due 9th of February 2014[/CENTER][/FONT]

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    778
    Ok, so I misunderstood and thought you were using Tyne as a girl's name, like Tyne Daly. Is it possible that her problem with the name isn't the name itself, but the idea of using a feminine name on a boy? Not trying to take your mom's side, but maybe knowing why she has such strong opposition will help, even if neither of you changes your mind.

  5. #14
    I agree with everyone above: your child, your choice. Full stop.

    Most people feel perfectly entitled to make negative comments about names when they are "hypothetical", but I've found it's much harder for them to say hurtful things when an actual baby, who they love and cherish, is wearing it. My own sister ruthlessly criticized our choice for my first daughter's name (and also our front-runner for our second), but once the baby arrived she kept her mouth shut.

    FWIW, I really like Tyne - it reminds me of Tynan, a surname I heard a lot when I lived in Ireland Go with your heart and tell the naysayers to f* off.

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