Would you use an ex's name?

[lexikj]

Exactly as the title says.... would you use an ex's name for your child? If you one day realized the most perfect, amazing name, but then remembered that you once dated a person with the name? Would it depend on if things ended on good or bad terms with the person, or would you be strict about not using the name?

I used to strictly say that I would 100% never use an ex's name, but now I'm rethinking it. I'm going out with a guy now, and probably won't be with him for when years and years from now I have kids. I love his full name (he goes by a nickname 100% of the time) and I guess I'll see in the future if I really would go through in using it! I love another ex boyfriend's name as well, but that breakup was terrible, so I would probably think twice if that name was the "perfect name".

what are your thoughts on this?

[carolinagirl]

I think this is a little tricky. I would not give your child a name of an ex that hurt you deeply, because it could remind you of the break-up. You wouldn't want that image in your head when you soothe your baby, call him for dinner, etc. But if things ended amicably, and you genuinely loved the name, I think that it would be fine. As long as you're not naming your baby after the ex!

[kala_way]

I agree that it probably depends on the situation.
I adored the named Geneva until I realized she'd probably be called Gen--which was a girlfriend on my DH who hurt him deeply.
But then it's also the city where we met, so I dunno, maybe I can convince myself that the nn Eve could be pushed and Gen spurned.

[jess0044]

Uhg! I'm going through this problem right now! I'm not having children soon but always like having three-five combos ready for each gender (as that is the number of kids my fiance and I want one day). Right now I'm going through an intense crush on the combo Conor Ryan . . . and lucky me for having dated both a Connor and a Brian. Neither one of them hurt me or anything, so I have absolutely NO problem using the names . . . it's my fiance that does. I can understand refusing to use Conor, but Ryan just because it rhymes? That seems a little far to me.

On the complete other hand, fiance suggested Jacey when his ex went by her initials: JC. -___-

Long story short, I'd use ex's names if I loved them enough. My relationship experience with all my exes was pretty neutral, so I wouldn't make the connection.

[taz]

I'm not really on awful terms with any of my exes...some I like more than others, some have very classic/common names while some have very unique names. My husband doesn't know the names of everyone I've ever dated...but I imagine he wouldn't be too pleased to find the name of an ex he knew about on my list! But if I briefly dated a guy named something like James (I did) and he went by Jim anyhow (he did) and I harbored no feelings of nostalgia for him (I don't) I suppose I would consider it totally usable.

I prefer names that I don't associate with people aside family tree type connections or greatly admired namesakes I guess.

[taz]

I should add that James has plenty of associations for me outside of my ex Jim and that's what makes it usable to me.

[mrstrivette]

Absolutely not! That was one of our rules! It was the name of a past boy/girlfriend, it got scratched right away!

[uniquenamelover]

Nope. Nope. And nope.

[kungfualex]

It depends on your definition of ex. If I'd been out with a guy a few times and it just didn't work out, I wouldn't rule out the name. Anything serious, whether it ended badly or not, I'd say no. My grandma told my mom that my grandpa wanted to give her the first name Frances because it was his ex-girlfriend's name. My mom spent her entire childhood hating the name and would only go by her middle name. So while bad breakups might turn you off a name, a fondly remembered ex's name could be hurtful to your husband/partner and to the child. Maybe there's some wiggle room in very common names that could have other associations, like if you dated someone with your father's name or some other major significance, but generally speaking, there are a lot more names to choose from than those of your exes, no matter how many guys you've dated by the time you have kids.

[constantstar]

No, I couldn't. My sister and I both have an ex named Nicholas so I could never even add that to my list - even though it goes with my naming style. There are tons of names out there. I just couldn't have the association. It would be even harder if it was one of my husband's exes. At least his have names like Nancy, Rachel, Sharie that I don't care for anyway.

I do have a friend that is named after her dad's first wife. It was apparently done to spite his mother - so the second wife was on board with it. My friend likes the story and doesn't mind.