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January 10th, 2013 01:20 PM #1
Please Stop Negative Comments toward suspected Trolls
Hey there my beautiful Berries,
I've been considering starting this thread for a little while now and have finally decided to get this off of my chest. I think that we spend too much time and anxiety over posting negative comments on threads that we suspect belong to trolls. I fear that we have started even suspecting real parents asking for advice because of their unusual situations. Things like 8 kids, quads, a third set of twins are all very rare but not impossible. I fear that our responses toward people we might not fully believe are discouraging others to ask for advice and help.
Like all of you I'd prefer for hypothetical situations to be phrased as such. But if people want their pretend lives to be read by us as their real lives, that is their choice. I feel that we should respect that choice or we become no better than trolls ourselves. There are many people who don't post on NB but have access to reading our threads - a thoughtful discussion on naming octuplets could help them out, even-though they might feel uncomfortable posting themselves. Instead a bitting thread on how the question must have been posted by a troll could scare them away, or make them feel unwelcome.
None the less I feel that if someone asks about what to name their octuplets and gives a parameter of their lives we could choose to:
1) answer thoughtfully and potentially spark an interesting conversation on larger sib-sets and the virtues of planning all names at once.
2) ignore their thread - therefore slowing dropping the thread off of the first few pages and more visible thread positions.
3) accuse them of being a troll.
I find the first two options much more intriguing than the third. If you feel the need to report a troll there is a thread for that. You can find this thread in the "All About Nameberry" forum "Annoying Trolls" -> it even has a nice little red exclamation mark in front of it. If nobody has posted in a while just add Pam, Linda or Hugh's name as well as the person you suspect of being a troll. That way the moderators can decide if the person in fact is a troll and to ban them if need be. This also helps prevent troll threads from trending and legit trends from slipping into oblivion.
We all have so many great ideas, opinions and insight to share, that I'd rather we did that then gripe about people trying to take advantage of that.
Thanks for listening, I know it's a bit long. I'd love to hear any constructive thoughts you might have as well.EXPECTING OUR FIRST, A GIRL, IN MAY 2016.
January 10th, 2013 03:52 PM #3
I tend to use option two most of the time but if the trolls are being very annoying then I might say something. In future I'll write on the troll thread instead (I didn't know there was one).
I really wouldn't recommend encouraging the trolls by conversing with them about names though. I in no way would want them to believe they've duped us into thinking their stories are real.
Last edited by renrose; January 10th, 2013 at 08:09 PM.~Boys~
★ August Eli Benedict ★ Bram ★ Casimir Mordecai ★ Edmond John Meirion ★ Gillon ★
★ Jory Leander ★ Julian Charles ★ Macsen ★ Magnus ★ Vasiliy ★
★ Aira Rose ★ Arietta ★ Clover ★ Delphina ★ Eleni ★ Fiorella ★ Hester Isobel ★
★ Iris ★ Lilah ★ Merit ★ Sylvia ★
Sorry to anyone who read TSI. First draft was terrible. Second drafting now.
January 10th, 2013 04:04 PM #5
Since I've become the nameberry Witchfinder General, I feel obligated to respond.
I think the fake posters (who don't typically meet the internet definition of trolls, as they are trying to 'pass' rather than stir up trouble) do the entire website a grave disservice. The website forums exist for two core sets of people: a) name aficionados, who enjoy discussing names, their meanings, their sociologic significance, their origins, etc; as well as giving advice to others; and b) prospective parents asking for feedback on names.
In general, the fake stories attract far more interest and attention than does the average real person seeking to name a real-life baby. It's a lot more fun, if you're a nameberry core member, to give advice on large families or multiples or whatnot, than it is for someone's first child who's deciding between a relatively well-known set of names. Therefore the real threads sometimes garner a handful of responses, while the fake threads get 20 posts within an hour. This is not fair to the prospective parents who genuinely want help naming a real human baby. It's not fair to Pam & Linda, who both want their brand to become better known, and to sell books.
In general too I, and other members, dislike deception and don't want to foster or encourage it. There is a very strong, and perfectly legitimate & healthy, "fantasy' aspect to baby naming. There's a lot of daydreaming of future families and future partners and future lives, especially amongst people for whom those big life milestones haven't happened yet. I absolutely don't want to come across as though I think that should be discouraged or that nameberry shouldn't be a place for speculative discussions.
I don't think simply ignoring a fake thread makes it magically sink to the bottom of the page, especially if many responders don't cotton on to the fact that it's fake. However, if it's the consensus feeling of members of this site (particularly of Pam & Linda) that we should stop calling out fakers, then I at least will definitely do so. Personally I've enjoyed the forums much, much more since that kind of thing has trickled off. I lurked on nameberry for a year but found the fake stories so frustrating that I never joined; it wasn't until a comments section on one of the blog posts (started by mei_mei) pointing out how many of the 'babyberries' were fake children that I decided, with relief, other people felt the same way I did about the issue.Blade, MD
XY: A. R.
XX: C. V. N.
Allaire * Emmanuelle * Honora * Hyacinthe * Lysandra * Marina * Rosamond * Serena * Sylvie * Thea * Verity / Blaise * Cyprian * Evander * Jules * Laurence * Lucian * Marius * Quentin * Rainier * Silvan
Hayat _ Qamar _ Sahar _ / Altair _ Faraj _ Tariq
January 11th, 2013 12:01 AM #7
Deception like this would not be tolerated in a face-to-face interaction, so I don't see why I should tolerated on forum where many actual pregnancies take place, there are several options to outlet ones fantasy family ideas.
I personally feel it'd be hypocritical of me to act like I find faking a pregnancy and family okay when in a face-to-face situation, I'd find it pretty appalling. Some people DO take it to far, and once they're backed into a corner have to lie to get out, such as lucysomethingortheother who faked a health scare with her fake unborn baby.
There are so many women on here who've had real health scares, miscarriages and loss of their children that it's just beyond acceptable to even think about posting a fake one on here.
Ultimately, I believe that it's better to encourage honest fantasy posts, than to make those who post deceptive ones feel that it's acceptable to do so.Nathaniel . Eden | Alessandra . Noel
January 11th, 2013 06:45 PM #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
I agree. Usually, when called out, they go away, too. Especially if you catch them with a story full of inconsistencies. I've been on "baby name" forums since I was 14 years old (I am in my mid twenties currently) so it's been a very long time - and I can say from my experience that these fake stories and such really, really irk me. There simply is NO reason or need to make stuff up - it takes away from the integrity of the board, it casts an air of doubt on legit members who do not deserve it and just playing along is just encouraging the behavior. I have SEEN it first hand, been the victim of even, of women (people? who knows, they could be men, this is the internet) who will share stories and become close personal friends with someone only to be outed and find that this person who you became friends with, shared personal stories with....is just a huge fake and you feel taken advantage of. It's sick and I WILL call it out when I see it.