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January 7th, 2013 03:22 PM #1
How to get the hubby involved in naming...
Hi berries! I've loved names for as long as I can remember, I am always making lists and making mental notes of names I hear while out and about. My husband does not share this same passion. He will answer yes or no to my endless "Do you like ____?" questions. I was just wondering how you got your significant others to discuss names. Did they refuse until you were expecting? Did they like to talk about names?
One thing I convinced him to do was to take a name quiz that I made. It was just multiple choice grouped by the starting letter - I did one for boys and girls. He didn't seem excited about it but he did it!B & L . we met in 2008 . got married in 2012 . maybe baby in 2016
Adelaide Winter Pearl . Felicity Catherine Snow . Mirabel Audrey June . Violet Isabeau Laine
August Gregory James . Caspian Joshua Daniel . Forest/Florin _____ Knight/Bond . Hugo Benjamin North
January 7th, 2013 03:40 PM #3
I'm in the exact same position as you are. My DH refuses to talk about names until we start having kids (we've been married for 2.5 years, but kids are still probably 2-3 years away). Every once in a while he'll get into it, but only for a few minutes and then he'll clam up for months. He reasons that we'll just change our minds anyway, but I think he just doesn't find it fun in the same way that I do. In fact, I think he finds the idea of naming another human quite stressful. As sad as I am that he rarely humors me and my name obsession, I do hold out hope that he'll be an eager participant when the time comes to actually give our children names.
January 7th, 2013 03:51 PM #5
I think most guys aren't really interested unless there is an actual fetus in the picture.
I ask my DH about names and he mostly laughs it off or says he likes names of various baseball players--I know he's kidding.
My advice would be to not burn him out too early on something he's not super interested in, or it may be hard to get him to give real options and opinions when it's actually down to the wire and a kid needs a name!Livy/Lucy : Geneva/Gwen : Coralie/Alice : Noelle/Eve
Eli/Bennett : Jude/Zane: Luke/Leo : Levi/Phineas
January 7th, 2013 04:30 PM #7
I agree with kala_way that pushing too hard now might burn him out. For many people (and maybe men in particular) picking out names for a child that doesn't exist yet seems impractical. It's fun to daydream, and makes sense once you're at least ttc, but putting too much pressure on choosing a name ahead of time could be more stressful than enjoyable for someone who's not as into names. I think it's fine to ask him if he likes a certain name if you come across one you'd likely consider, but keep in mind that if there's a lot of time between now and baby, his opinions might change, as might yours. I think if you're getting yes or no answers, you're already ahead of the game--I've seen many posts lamenting a husband who hates everything they suggest.
January 7th, 2013 04:46 PM #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
I am like you but my husband was NOT interested until we were pregnant, and even then I wanted to start talking about it way before he did. I tried not to push the matter too frequently, but still remind him there was a sort of deadline. He is a numbers guy so I pulled him in by showing him babynamewizard and letting him scour the popularity statistics and analyze their graphing techniques (hey he had to come up with names to search for right?) On the nights where he agreed to work on the pressing matter, we would sit down at the same time and work on our secret individual lists or talk about a few choices. It was not something he was going to do 'on his own time' if you know what I mean.
Honestly, I rarely (maybe 3 times a year) brought it up before we were having kids. I just had learned to accept that names are one of my interests he doesn't care about- sort of how I am with his comic books. Until he had actual reason to think about names he was just not interested at all. Now after we've named our boys he is only mildly more interested than he was before. He at least tolerates me mentioning names my friends chosen for their kids and acknowledges my comments with cogent responses.Mama to twin boys Oliver Graham and Luke Axel