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View Poll Results: Which Story?

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  • Jin Chensi

    6 35.29%
  • Vera Tandova

    6 35.29%
  • Anna Healy

    2 11.76%
  • Georgiana Moran

    7 41.18%
  • Ivy McMurray

    5 29.41%
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Thread: Story Ideas

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Portland
    Posts
    2,321
    Quote Originally Posted by blade View Post
    You have some great ideas and it seems like you write quasi-seriously, so I hope you don't mind my being editorial. I think the job of a good editor is to tear everything to pieces, to poke as many holes into the plot as possible, and see what stands up. You as the writer do a patch job. Usually the end result is far better. You have to decide which criticisms / verisimilitude concerns you want to address, and which you want to brush over with the "artistic license" carte blanche. I think it should be saved as a weapon of last resort.

    Do you want this story set in present-day China or a bit farther back? As far as a plot device, you could set it in the period of the Cultural Revolution, and make her part of a family of poor villagers who are displaced for one of Mao's great projects (i.e. flooding their valley via a new dam). Her parents drown, or she's separated, and she has to make her own way in a cruel, starving, militaristic China.

    Or, she could be mobilized from her village for one of the innumerable civil defense projects, and revolts against the cruelty/ideology of the project, and has to disappear (a great number of atrocities were committed in or near Tibet, so that could get her out there).

    Since this is nameberry, I think your Chinese names could use a bit of tweaking. What language will your characters speak? Tibetan and Mandarin/Cantonese are not at all related and are not mutually intelligible, though Tibetans are forced to learn Mandarin in school. Breaking it down:

    Jin Chensi: your main character has a largely Korean name, Jin. Jin is used in China as a GIVEN name, not a surname, but it's much more heavily used in Korea [as a boy's name!]-- you could try Jiang, or Yin, instead.

    Puji, Chuju, Xintu, Yanjuan & Ren:

    None of these ring authentic. Ren is a relatively common surname, not a first name (though it's a boy's name in Japan).
    I understand, I'm a pretty tough editor myself, it's just harder to take than it is to give sometimes, I'm sorry. Anyway she would be in Mao's China, my mum studied Russian History and has given me a pretty good understanding of communist ideals in everyday life, and I like the your flooding and relocation ideas, I think I might go with flooding. I was a little worried when it came to the names, most of my help came from my friend Senna, she speaks Mandarin, but she's Korean so I'm not surprised there. I know it's not that clear, but Jin is her given name and Chensi is the family name. I think that they would be would be speaking Mandarin.
    Boys: William Thomas "Wills" | Elias Christian | Malcolm James | Vincent Theo | Isaac Augustus
    Girls: Alice Genevieve | Audrey Eleanor | Ivy Arabella | Deirdre Violet | Miranda Yvaine
    Guilty Pleasures: Eglantine | Oisin | Zipporah | Etienne | Mitzi | Lidewij

  2. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Rainbow land :3
    Posts
    10
    Even though I'm atheist, I've always harbored a deep love for Buddha so I have to say that I love number one the most. I also like the second one, but the last three are cliched and have a "been there, done that" feel. Best of luck to you!
    be the change you wish to see in the world.

  3. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    4,514
    I work with a Chinese colleague and asked her about the names of the main two characters. She said Chensi is absolutely not a surname in China-- there are extremely few 2-syllable surnames. "Jin" means "quiet," usually (not sure if that's the personality of your character). Also, Laoshi is not a given name-- it's the everyday word for 'teacher.' 'Lao' is an honorific given to the elderly, in front of their surname, so it would mean "Old Mr. Shi."
    Blade, MD

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