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Thread: Ttc 2013
June 16th, 2013 07:08 AM #1381
I third what loveday said about medical insurance and medical care in the US. I can't believe how little the government offers to people and how reliant people must be on insurance companies. In NZ most couples qualify for two free rounds of IVF as well as standard medical care (appointments with a GP, fertility referrals etc). You would think (from a purely economical perspective) it works out cheaper in the long run for governments to take care of sick people, so that there are more healthy productive people to work.
@alzora, thanks for the info. My husband and I very seriously considered international adoption. I have a whole bookshelf of adoption books, a pity they're now in storage in NZ! For us the barriers were cost ($60,000 - now there's something our govt could improve upon), time (approx 4 years), country adoption restrictions (religion, no previous children, infertile, over 30 etc) and having to stay in NZ the whole time. Once we moved overseas our chances were effectively nil, as we could potentially adopt through another country but couldn't bring the child back to NZ. However international adoption looks much easier from the US. Expensive, but comparatively much less so - and you can often get funding. It also looks like a much faster process, although that can have drawbacks too; there have been adoption scandals in the US that haven't happened elsewhere. Do you know where you would want to adopt from? Would you be willing to adopt a toddler rather than a young baby? Most of the places we looked at had 1-3 year olds as the youngest adopted children. Because of that, you'd need to consider the mental and developmental effects of institutionalisation. I've worked in orphanages in Nepal, India and Mongolia - there is certainly a huge amount of variation in how much care and attention the children receive. Some countries also place potential adoptee children with foster carers, which helps a lot.
There were also gender variables for different countries, ie Morocco had mostly toddler boys, India had girls over age 5. If you wanted the other gender, wait times were much longer. You can also reduce your waiting times by being willing to adopt a waiting child with disabilities. The disabilities can range from very minor (eg, need glasses, congenital toe deformity) to significant and long term. You can specify which disabilities you would be willing to cope with. It's all a very unsettling process, being asked to pick preferences about your future child - but I do think international adoption is fantastic overall and I wish it were easier for more people to adopt.
Last edited by milasmama; June 16th, 2013 at 09:33 AM.Mother to miss Mila Arden. Expecting her brother Cato Bennett in March 2014
June 16th, 2013 12:27 PM #1383
First AF sucks! It finally came last night with super cramps that are still here this morning. It's nothing like my usually AF. It's bright red and watery and not heavy (although its not spotting either) and brown mixed in only on the tampons. My usual AFs are dark red and clotty and heavier than this and only brown at the end.
Did all of your AFs change once off BC?Shannon, recently married my BFF and TTC our first <3
June 16th, 2013 12:59 PM #1385
Hi whitegold, yep same here different (more watery red) AF after BC but I only had the long cycle + heavy cramping + painful nipplles the first cycle. I was actually not that unhappy when my first spontaneous (not BC induced) AF finally showed, it felt my body had reset itself and was ready to TTC, and the second cycle was indeed "normal" (29 days, OPK+ and light cramping). It didn't really worry me real AF is different from BC AF, it sounds like your body is responding very similar to mine which would mean you would get a OPK+ in 14/15 days time to get those wondfo thingies out! (They're not for sale in Europe) I would however be very unhappy if your and/or my AF shows up next month, fingers crossed!
June 16th, 2013 01:08 PM #1387
@khaatje thank you!! So nice knowing someone else who has had a similar situation! I sure hope neither of our AFs show up next month too!!Shannon, recently married my BFF and TTC our first <3
June 16th, 2013 05:34 PM #1389
@Milasmama, I've had an interest in adopting from Eastern Europe ever since I was little, when a missionary came to our church and told us sob stories of orphans in Albania. Bethany Christian Services has adoption programs in 12 different countries, and Albania happens to be one of them. According to Albanian law, adoptive parents have to either be of Albanian heritage or adopt a child with special needs. Since the term "special needs" encompasses even mild and correctable needs, I would be open to that. There are a few other Eastern European countries that you can adopt from that have fewer requirements. I've also gone through periods of daydreaming about adopting from Central America, because I think the Spanish language barrier would be easier to work with, as my husband minored in Spanish and I tutored Spanish for a few years at Penn State. (We are not fluent.) (But I answer him in Spanish often around the house. ) I lost interest in adoptions from Asia when I learned as a teen that many of their countries required adoptive parents to be at least 30 years old, and that felt like forever away. I would be willing to adopt a toddler--in fact, I would possibly prefer a toddler to an infant. I would be willing to go as high as 5 or 6. But my husband works as a therapist with troubled school-age kids, and to go any higher age-wise would likely create a work-like environment at home for him, and I worry about it feeling more like a client than a child to him. I would also be willing to adopt a child of either gender. I'm not worried about developmental delays provided they can be overcome with love, attention, and therapy, but my bigger fear is Reactive Attachment Disorder.
I could talk about adoption all day long...right now I could talk about it longer than TTC which still has me depressed...but I suppose I will stop clogging up the TTC thread with my adoption ideas.mid-20s . married to my best friend . trying for our first
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in glorious light.
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.