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Thread: Ttc 2013
June 15th, 2013 11:29 AM #1371Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
- London, UK
Well, I'm just starting my TWW. Which is always the worst time, every single month. So no real news or updates, but I love reading this thread so I thought I'd chime in again with what's up with me right now. Good luck to everyone still waiting!Lucy & Hazel & Nora & Alice & SophieHenry & Rowan & Milo & Oliver & Ezra
June 15th, 2013 12:57 PM #1373
June 15th, 2013 01:25 PM #1375
@ nowakasia & rachel27 - good luck!
So I am supposed to be ovulating today (I guessed my cycles are around 30 days long) but I'm pretty sure I'm not. So far I've had hardly any CM at all. Is that normal? Even with a longer cycle I thought I would have at least some watery CM by now.Two small people, Mila Arden and Cato Bennett.
If I had a baby tomorrow...
Atlas Adair or Lyra Sylvie
June 15th, 2013 03:58 PM #1377Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
welcome to the new peeps, big congrats to @grecianern!
@alzora thank you so much for sharing with us and, as hard as it can be, i love @blade's advice to try and look at it as one month closer to getting some answers etc. you are a very strong woman!
this may sound weird, but i have to admit that i read the trials and frustrations with medical insurance etc on this thread with awe and sadness - though canadian medicare is not without flaws (and looooong wait times for some things), i must admit that i am so grateful for it and cannot imagine adding the stress of having to worry about paying or getting compensation for procedures related to fertility. for a self-imployed person like myself it is a godsend to have automatic healthcare.
@milasmama - i haven't ovulated either (at least not according to wondfo) and i'm at day CD 20 of what i am guessing will be a 31-ish day cycle? wondering how much i should be relying on wondfo to accurately tell me if i'm ovulating...also wondering if i ovulate at all...there's the pessimistic attitude again! also going through a bit of a "but wait a minute....do i REALLY want to be a mum??" phase. they usually don't last very long, thankfully. i will just suddenly will feel really overwhelmed with the prospect, and all the big changes it will bring, and worry how it will affect my happiness, my marriage, my health, my dreams, my freedom and independence...
but i have always suffered from a pathetic fear of 1. change and 2. hard work. these fears have held my back from so many things in life. i am determined not to let them hold me back from (hopefully) having a family and being a mother!
June 15th, 2013 04:26 PM #1379Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
@Caroline, welcome to our ranks. We are nothing but fun and happiness here in the TTC circle, and I hope you enjoy your stay. I do hope that your TTC process goes as quickly as you are expecting it to. Keep us posted!
Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy "Life Day." That's cute..."Life Day"...I like that. My children and grandchildren and all of my descendants will be taught to celebrate June 13 as Life Day. Because it is important to remember miracles. It keeps our faith and hope alive.
Grecianern, TWINNIES!!!! AHH!!! Oh man, congratulations on your double surprise!
@Blade, I actually go on the new insurance in August, the month I turn 26, but my husband and his sister who is a PA both want me to wait until September, our one-year mark, before seeking any more help. My husband has put up with a lot from me these past ten months, so I will give him that. I can wait an extra month if he wants. I do plan to pursue the HSG test and I want my husband to get a semen analysis, but the new insurance will only pay out $2,400 per member for infertility screening and treatment, and I've been told by my hospital that the HSG test is $4,000, meaning that it would still cost us over a grand which we don't have. But things I've read online indicate that the HSG test is usually only half that cost. That estimated $4,000 price was quoted to me by the better hospital in my area, the hospital that saved my life. I will call the other hospital in the area too. The hospital that kills people. They are probably cheaper. Because their patients mostly die.
@Khaatje, I'm betting (and hoping) that the shock of the family divorce will wear off and your husband will be back to planning for kids before long. Hang in there!
@Sarah, I started going crazy around 8-9 DPO this cycle. I hope you are maintaining your sanity. And I hope you find out good news in a week!
Good luck on your pre-surgical appointment, @Poppy. It's a big step!
@December, grumpiness and acne is a sign of an impending period, no?
@Rachel, interesting that you call the two-week wait the worst part of each month. I actually kind of love it. The first half of the two-week wait is the most hopeful and relaxing part of the month for me. It's a stretch of days in which you don't have to worry about timing sex and doing all the TTC tricks, and you don't have to watch for symptoms until the end. I look forward to the two-week wait each month. And I hope yours has a happy ending.
@Nowakasia, keep us posted on your progress!
@Milasmom, a lack of cervical mucus during the fertile days is not normal for me, but Blade said that cervical mucus is very dependent on hydration and other variable factors. What cycle day are you on? Are you using ovulation tests?
@Loveday, I totally hear you on the fears of change and how a child will affect happiness and marriage! Sometimes during the two-week wait, I have like mini panic attacks. I lie awake some nights during the two-week wait sweating and nearly in tears, thinking, What have I done?! But in the end, as you said, I don't want my fears to hold me back from my dream of parenthood. I know that when or if I get pregnant, I will definitely go through a period of intense panic, but I also know that it will pass and I will be okay.
Here's my latest. I know...I know...this is my little brain's way of coping with ten months of TTC disappointment. But my latest obsession has been international adoption. The thing is, I've wanted to adopt internationally since I was in kindergarten or first grade. I never wanted to have biological kids. International adoption was my dream all through elementary and high school, and as a teen I used to spend time plotting out how I would finance an adoption. It remained my dream all through college, and even after the accident when my aunt told me in the ICU, "Your reproductive organs were untouched; you'll still have babies," I really wasn't all that excited, because I planned to adopt. Bearing children only became my dream like...recently, I don't recall when. And I still do want to have my own babies, but my subconscious must have ditched that idea for the moment and moved on to my other idea of mommyhood through international adpotion. It occurred to me recently that despite the immense costs of an international adoption, I believe that God would provide the money, and I can think of literally about 200 relatives and friends who are financially stable and would give generously to such a cause if we were to go that route. So I've spent the past few days mulling over that option because TTC feels so hopeless right now anyway. I sent in a preliminary application to Bethany Christian Services, which is not a commitment to adopt but is just a step to learn whether we are even eligible to adopt from any countries based on our personal details and to get more information. I was given a password to view their Waiting Children list, and currently my heart is stuck on a little five-year-old girl in Eastern Europe who has cataracts and therefore limited vision, and is very, very behind in life developmentally. But I think that all she needs is a family and maybe a fluffy Wheaten terrier to love her and cheer her on, and she can get strong and catch up and have a happy, healthy life. That daydream has made me happy after days of extreme sadness. I guess adoption feels like hope, while TTC feels hopeless at the moment. I know that this is just my brain's way of coping with my TTC frustrations, so I don't want to rush into something that I will regret. But on the other hand, adoption HAS been my dream, for much longer than biological kids have been my dream, and that sweet little girl won't leave my mind. So I'm waiting for either my husband to take me seriously or for this feeling to pass. I keep thinking about all of the help and the therapy that she would need, but I do have the time for that, and I think that I have the patience and dedication for it too, and I have vast reserves of compassion and empathy. Don't take any of this too seriously. My interests will probably shift, especially as my next fertile window approaches, but for now, these ideas are lifting my spirits.
Last edited by alzora; June 15th, 2013 at 04:32 PM.