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Thread: Ttc 2013
February 19th, 2013 04:25 PM #191Junior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Ontario, Canada
My husband and I have only recently started TTC, but so far no luck. It's starting to get very disappointing. To make things worse, I have several cousins who are pregnant. I have a large family who I'm very close with, and in almost every conversation I have with family members they bring up the pregnancies. It's getting really hard for me to have these conversations every day. We haven't told anyone we are TTC because we're worried about how long it will take us, so it's not like our families know how hard these talks are for me. It just really depresses me, and I was just wondering how everyone else deals with this?
20-something year old woman; newlywed; name obsessed
Bridie; Jocelyn; Winifred
Jasper; Lochlan; Thatcher
February 19th, 2013 07:35 PM #193Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
@megmarie, so good to hear of another one in the same boat as me. Somehow it calms me down knowing that others on this board have similar anxiety.
@poppy, I can't answer any of your questions, but my husband and I are in month 6 as well, and I'm beginning to wonder about sperm count too, simply because he doesn't have the normal sex drive of a guy his age. (I mean he has a drive, just not as strong as most young, healthy males, and a lot of times I have to request it when it's time to TTC!) So I can't inform you at all, but I can relate to your concern, and sympathize with your frustration.
@handler, how long have you been trying? I TOTALLY get the thing about others in your family going through pregnancies while you still are trying! My little sister AND my best friend both found themselves with unexpected (and unprepared) pregnancies this past summer, and all I can say is it hurts. Here I am, ready and waiting, while my best friend is enjoying her newborn son in an otherwise HORRIBLE and potentially dangerous situation, and my sister is about ready to pop with her baby girl while still living at home with my parents. It just hurts. I struggle with envy, but I am actively getting a grip on that and working on shifting my focus. What I've found is that, first of all, I have to focus on the beautiful, wonderful life I do have. My husband, our puppy, our house, the list could go on forever. I know, that doesn't satisfy the longing for a baby. The other thing I've found is that the more actively I try to show love to the girls, the easier it is to be around them and to hear about their pregnancy and baby updates. It still hurts a lot, and I still had to change my Facebook settings so that my best friend's pictures don't appear in my news feed. I didn't do that out of bitterness, but for self-protection while I work out my feelings. In the end I don't have the answer for how to deal with it. It just sucks. But shifting focus has made it somewhat bearable for me. For the sake of your own self-protection, perhaps you should limit your time with these cousins for now, not out of jealousy or spite but simply to give yourself space and time to get your emotions under control. It's what I've had to do. Best of luck.
Last edited by alzora; February 19th, 2013 at 07:43 PM.
February 19th, 2013 07:42 PM #195
@poppy, PCOS is a constellation of endocrine abnormalities that also involve multiple, bilateral ovarian cysts. Ovarian cysts are extremely common and in general are entirely independent of glycemic control or even hormone balance, save in PCOS. It's most certainly a syndrome-- a collection of linked observations-- rather than a disease, which means no one has really identified a triggering cause or single underlying defect. Without excess estrogen, which is nearly always linked to excess weight, hirsutism, deeper voice, etc through estrogen --> androgens, and without the metabolic syndrome-type picture (insulin resistance, hyper-TGs, lipodystrophy), you can't have PCOS. Just an ovarian cyst.
I'm no andrologist but it seems entirely plausible that two brothers would have similar fertility profiles. In the absence of environmental factors (like if one brother enjoys scalding hot soaking baths nightly), sperm production and maturation are controlled by genes carried on the Y chromosome. Two brothers will inherit their Y chromosome from the same source-- their dad-- and it stands to reason they'd be very similar.XY: Antoine Raphael (3.1.2012)
XX: Cassia Viviane Noor (11.30.2013)
February 19th, 2013 09:51 PM #197
@Blade - thanks for the informative and entertaining list! And here's hoping Antoine does not have to wait long for a little brother or sister.
I do have PCOS, obviously, but my DHEA, testosterone and the other hormones they checked are within normal range. Some of them are high normal but not all. My doc explained - in very simplistic layman's terms, obviously - that my body is working very hard to compensate and keep things at normal levels. I don't have all the symptoms - missing the hirsutism, deep voice, and other signs of excess testosterone, thankfully - but I do have the overweight, fatigue, slow metabolism, hypothyroid, insulin resistance, and other Syndrome X or metabolic syndrome type symptoms.
I have also struggled many years with anxiety disorders. Started very abruptly with panic disorder about 10 years ago. Now it is more like what they call anxiety sensitivity disorder.
Anyway. So @Alzora - I can certainly understand fear of change and the anxiety of becoming a parent. But I think I have the opposite issue from you. LOL! I feel like I am starting to get a little depressed by the TTC "journey" and trying to deal with my health issues while also facing the closing of the post where my husband works and an almost simultaneous 10 month deployment. If I'm not knocked up by September we will have a 10 month delay. I'll be 34 in August. He'll be 44 in June. Ten months is a long time for us. And when he gets back he probably won't have a job to back to. Meanwhile I am working part time from home and looking for full time work which almost doesn't exist here.
My point is there is a lot to stress about. But my energy is so focused on breeding that it's probably unhealthy. I probably have a "there are no cats in America" vision of motherhood. Because my mild depressive symptoms are related to not conceiving I know that will be helped - assuming I don't get PPD or something, and who knows?
This is such a difficult thing and it's so different for everyone. You've been through so much and you will also get through the scariness of getting pregnant and becoming a mom. :-)Mrs. H.
Trying for our first!
If it's a boy: Josiah Walker "Joe"
If it's a girl: Atrella Mary Emerald
Avatar: "Dark Robe" by Malcolm Liepke
February 20th, 2013 01:21 AM #199Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011