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Thread: is this allowed?
December 27th, 2012 02:20 PM #26Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
since its common and was a while ago i think its ok. i would just mention it to them first
December 29th, 2012 06:02 PM #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
Hmmm. This is hard. Personally I would proceed with caution just because you were very close at one time.....I have a friend who was in a tragic car accident where she lost her baby at 8 months. She's not super close, but it very open about all the heartache she went through (losing the baby, being in a coma for 2 months, countless number of broken bones, etc etc etc) and I feel like it would be super akward all around to use that baby's name and I'm not close to her either. But, I see her more than once a year so it would be a little more "in your face" than if she lived in another state.
I would move on to another name or talk to them IF you think they wouldn't just say yes to be polite and then be resentful that you asked at all.
I tend to think that there are a zillion names out there.....it's hard when you find a name you like, but there will always be another one you can find (even if you're having trouble!). For them, that pain is probably always going to be there to some extent...and maybe more than you know since they had 3 girls and lost their one little boy.
December 29th, 2012 06:59 PM #30
I think @becaroo's very honest answer about her reaction to just hearing the name of her Tessa is a great guideline for how your friend might react. If you feel that Logan is the perfect name for your child, I think talking to your friends before hand would be wise. I don't know why you fell in love with the name, but if it has anything to do with their little Logan letting them know that you are choosing the name because of their child (and you can be as vague as you like. Wether you just fell in love with the name after they introduced you to it - which I probably wouldn't mention- or in memory of/to honor their son) might help them accept the thought more readily and actually bring them some joy.
I have a number of college friends I only see once a year and who live quite a few states away. Of course I was closer with them then, than I am now but because I still consider them close and dear friends I would be worried about using their childs names. In particular my childhood neighbors son's name was on my favorites list for years, but after he died I put it on the "love but won't use" list, for exactly that reason. (And while our parents still live next to each other, I rarely talk to her nor do we have any friends in common)....if my husbands has no vote, then....
Endora & Lorelei / Dexter & Gideon
...we are newlyweds and not trying...yet...