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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    6

    is this allowed?

    my husband and i have been agonizing over baby names since before we were even expecting. boys' names have been especially hard for us to agree upon! we have a name that we both want to use but it has a "link" to the past. one of my friends had a baby boy born prematurely about 5 years ago. the baby passed away soon after he was born. my friend and her husband gave their baby this name that my husband and i want to use. since then they have had three healthy baby girls. to give you a little more insight, our friends live in another state and we see them maybe once a year but there was a time when we were very close. my question is...what would you do? is it ok to use the name? any thoughts are appreciated.

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    15,500
    I think it's only right to ask your friends how they feel about you choosing this name. If they don't mind, then it's a go! The only downside: choosing a name that is linked to a deceased infant may be difficult for your family as well. It would remind you of the tragic association every time you call him.
    All the best,
    Mischa.

  3. #5
    If it is a name that you both feel is right for your child, then I would use it. You need to be prepared for some hurt feelings or sadness from your friends as this will undoubted make them think of the child they lost. However, it can't be off limits forever because they happened to choose that name too. Would you feel comfortable talking with them and sharing your plans for the name? The ties you mentioned would be a good thing to share. You don't OWE them an explanation, but it would be a nice conversation to have. This sounds like a tough situation, but it helps that they are not as close as they used to be. Maybe this will turn into a positive and they can find the joy (in some way) of a little boy with the same name living life to the fullest.

    I'm curious, what is the name?

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    17
    Great advice from Mischa. Couldn't have said it better!

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    6
    Thanks for the reply. Neither of our families know these two friends and probably don't even know the name association. It is a fairly common and popular boys name.

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