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November 28th, 2012 06:32 PM #1
How did you feel finding out the gender of your baby?
Did you and your partner want the same outcome? Did you feel a little disappointed if you didn't get what you wanted/expected? Or were you genuinely happy either way?
I was watching a show that was discussing how it's p.c. to say you don't care, as long as it's healthy, but that most people, whether they admit it or not, are hoping for one or the other. Then one of the characters said "I don't care, as long as she's healthy".
I really wanted a girl. I'd always pictured having a girl. I dreamed about a little girl in early pregnancy. I was really shocked to find out I'm having a boy. It's not like I didn't want him anymore when I found out, but it took some time of brainstorming the good things about having a son to fully come to terms.
Now it's solid in my head that this is a boy and I'm really excited about meeting him. I realized that even if I'd had a girl, there are a thousand other things about her that might not have been how I'd imagined. My mom expected a little miniature version of her and we wound up being very different people with completely different interests.
So I was just curious if anyone else had a hard time at first when they weren't having what they'd always thought they wanted. My son's father said that when he found out it was a boy, he felt more excited and like this was more real. So how did all of you feel? Answers would be interesting whether you got what you were hoping for or not.
November 28th, 2012 06:44 PM #3Senior Member
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Ok...everyone in my life got the "as long as it's healthy" answer, but my husband and I admitted to each other that I really wanted a girl & he really wanted a boy. Of course we would've been fine with either, but we had a preferenceand I think that's fine.
When we found out it was a she I asked if he was disappointed & he said no, but he was kind of scared to have a delicate little girl...well we ended up getting a little bruiser!
I think my girl preference was because I wanted cuddly & sweet & mommy-loving which boys can be too, but for me wete qualities I associated with girls
My husband had a boy preference cause he wanted to play rough & play sports & go on hikes & not fear breaking the baby!
Our daughter has all of the qualities above so we got really lucky! I think you should list the qualities you were hoping for in a daughter & you might be surprised that plenty of them are gender neutral...except the clothes, the girl clothes are a bit more fun! Aside from that your baby will be your little buddy whether it's a boy or girl!
November 28th, 2012 06:48 PM #5
I wonder about this, too. I've always imagined a little boy. I hope I'm not disappointed if it's a girl. I know I won't be, I'll love my child no matter what. But... I really want a boy. Alternatively, my sister is on number three and once again it's a boy. She really wants a girl and I know she was sad when she first found out she was having another boy. But she's over it now and excited again.Cordelia Eilonwy Snow | Thisbe Wildrose ● Damian Sparrow | Malachi Tristan Bjorn
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November 28th, 2012 07:48 PM #7
Honestly, since this is our first, I didn't have a preference either way. I'm thrilled that we're having a girl but I'd be just as thrilled if we were having a boy. I will say that I felt a lot more bonded to the baby once we found out the gender. It just feels a lot more real when you can say "he" or "she" rather then "it" or "the baby".
All that being said, for our next baby, I'll definitely be hoping for a boy since I'd like one of each. If we end up having two girls though, I'm sure there'd be a little disappoinment at first, but nothing that would last all that long.
November 28th, 2012 09:21 PM #9
I agree-- the thrill of using a pronoun is very real!
I mildly preferred a boy, but my husband-- to an absurd, non-politically correct degree-- wanted a girl. He spent most of the pregnancy-- until the literal day of the birth-- saying "if only we were having a girl!" He very nearly cried at the sonogram, to the great surprise of the tech. Of course now he couldn't imagine having any other baby than Antoine and admits he has no idea what he was thinking or why he had such a visceral urge for a daughter.
Incidentally, going into the anatomy scan he was on the fence about wanting to know the gender. I wanted to know, and felt a bit lucky that due to my occupation I would probably be able to tell on the sono just from looking at it without the tech needing to interpret it. We agreed going in that I would keep mum no matter what I saw. However, Antoine made his Y chromosome so terribly apparent that even my husband-- who, by the way, is a securities litigator-- said "I think it's a boy!"
I had kind of the opposite mindset of most people going into the pregnancy. I cynically really believed that there was no such thing as a healthy, normal baby. I expected all manner of congenital anomalies; a cord accident; anything. I didn't announce the pregnancy at all to anyone besides first-degree relatives until after the anatomy scan.Blade, MD
XY: Antoine Raphael
XX: Cassia Viviane Noor
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