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Thread: Perplexing situation
January 20th, 2013 10:31 PM #1
I have a very specific and rather complicated question. Both my parents died when I was a young, and I would very much like to name my children after them in order to pass down their memory. My mother's family follows the tradition of honoring someone by using his or her first initial when naming a baby, so I never worried too much about not loving my mother's name (Cathy). However, I genuinely do love my father's name, Ivo, and would love to use it for a future child.
My question is whether it would be odd to name one child directly after someone, while naming the other only using the first initial. I'm also thinking about putting Catherine in the middle spot for a girl. Would this make things more or less equitable in terms of "honoring"? My mother was Jewish and my daughter would get her Hebrew name, but this would most likely never get used, as my husband and I are not religious. My father was not Jewish and would thus not have a Hebrew name to pass on. Does this change anything?
I apologize for the long back story, but I'm really struggling with this and I'd love to get some other people's perspectives.
Thanks!Loving right now:
Eulalie Catherine, Cordelia Iseult, Cosima Beatrix, Cecily Morgana
Ivo Marius, Euan Casper, Remy Nathaneal, Crispin Adair
January 20th, 2013 10:38 PM #3
I think if the name still feels like it is honouring your parents in your opinion, that is all that matters. It's up to you to decide how you want your parents remembered in the names of your children, whatever you decide will be the right way to go regardless.
Lachlan Alexander - Evander 'Anders' Alcott - Cadmus Walter - Theron Xavier - Thatcher William - Peregrine North - Dresden Alasdair
Natalie Winter - Adelaide Pearl - Hermione Jane - Corisande Fable - Lavender Alina/Irie - Cordelia Autumn - Virginia Joy- Odessa Faye
January 20th, 2013 10:47 PM #5
Well, actually I think your secret preferences actually perfectly align with what you should do! In non-Jewish families, children are named directly after relatives (living and deceased), whereas as you know in Jewish families the first initial is often used (in deference to the old belief about the Angel of Death being confused and taking the younger name-bearer rather than the older). So giving a daughter *her* cultural traditions-- both her shem ha-ḳodesh for synagogue as well as her C initial in everyday life-- works wonderfully. And naming a son directly after your father Ivo (I agree, fantastic name!) also honors his way of doing things.XY: Antoine Raphael (3.1.2012)
XX: Cassia Viviane Noor (11.30.2013)
January 20th, 2013 10:53 PM #7
There are many, many ways of honouring a family member through naming your child, not just giving them the family member's full name. Using Catherine in the mn spot to honour a Cathy is perfect. Others might use a name from their parents' culture, using a name with the same or similar meaning, using a name that means a lot to that person, using a name that has similar elements to the Preston's name, etc. So, your mother will be honoured as much because you will be telling friends, family, and your daughter: "her name starts with C to honour my mother" , as the actual giving of the name.
Having said that, Catherine is a lovely, classic name that would make a great mn or first name. I don't think that your parents or other family members would mind if one child had your father's name as a first, and another child has your mother's name as a middle. The important thing is that you thought of both. If you are bothered by it though, I would use both names as middles and choose another name you love for your children's first names.Mommy to John Alexander & 3 furbabies; Maggie the dog, Rex & Bella the wannabe lions
Current favourites: girls -Eliana [Bronwen, Joy, Claire, Irene], Leora [Irene, Bronwen, Bronwyn], Sarah Elise, Anna Charlotte, Adelaide, Phoebe, Kathryn, Elizabeth, Anastasia, Celeste, Astrid, Beatrix, Lucy
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January 20th, 2013 10:59 PM #9Senior Member
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