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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    513
    I have 3 and that is the perfect number for us. Two kids was too easy, I wanted more of a parental challenge for myself (as a SAHM) and I look at siblings as blessings to the children I have - so we added a third. We would probably have had 4 if I wasn't diagnosed with cancer when my 3rd born was a few months old. But, as many above have said, it's a personal choice.

  2. #43
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    London, England
    Posts
    5,340
    Quote Originally Posted by east93 View Post
    This.

    And I never understood why people got so touchy about "their" tax dollars. It's not theirs once it's taken from their paycheck. One has no say in where it goes, nor does one know exactly what's being done with it. So to take it out on people who have 4+ kids is just ridiculous and child-like imo. One doesn't know the stories of these 4+ families, one doesn't know that they are on welfare, and guess what? People with NO kids are on welfare as well, and some single people are abusing the system. Is walking around glaring at every person not wearing a suit going to make one feel better? No.

    I hope these same people are just as touchy about "their" coffee dollars going towards funding weapons used on innocent civilians and like situations.

    There's corruption in virtually everything, doesn't mean things shouldn't be around. Life isn't black and white, neither is having children or a family. I feel awful for parents of big families who have to endure dirty looks, and comments from ignorant people who are oh so concerned about "their" tax dollars. At least it's going toward sustaining someone's life.
    I agree with this, and I think everything Strawberry said.

    I've always wanted four or five children, I have two and my boyfriend has three siblings. We both got lots of love and attention with two working parents each. I think it's up to each person what's right for them, some people find one child overwhelming, others want more. Personally, I don't get the reproducing thing, I'd like to only adopt, but I am pregnant so... I hate the idea of little parentless children out there, and for our next child we are going to adopt.

    Boyfriend peaking over my shoulder: he says the ideal number of a child is no more than what can fit in a car, which makes sense. Unless you want to drive a bus, of course.

  3. #45
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    330
    Quote Originally Posted by lexiem View Post
    I don't think there is a magic number for anyone. I know families with 7 kids where I can't imagine them having less - considering there are always at least 4 kids that aren't theres around as well and then I know some people who can't seem to raise one child correctly. As said by other previous posters it really just depend on who you are. I've always been an only child and I would really love to have around three kids some day. (The perfect number to fit into a little hybrid car before having to upgrade to a mini-van. lol).

    However, I do think that smart parenting includes planning not to have more children than you can financially and emotionally support. The economy is hard enough as it is, why make it harder on yourself and your kids by having to feed too many mouths? I think a child will probably benefit more from having their parents at home more than if they have a sibling but the parents have to work overtime/three jobs to feed them and pay for expenses. If you can emotionally and financially support 25 children and you want that many, great. If you can't, I think everyone (you and your kids) would be happier if you didn't.
    Exactly. Well said.

  4. #47
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    688
    Quote Originally Posted by catloverd View Post
    That's interesting because my husband is 1 of 4 and he thinks 4 is too many. To him 3 is the most anyone should ever have in order for all the children to benefit properly, but for him the max is 2, like me, we don't want to have anymore than to replace us.

    My dad is 1 of 9 and his family is filled with so much drama. Even though they are all in their 50's, they are still fighting for attention. However, my dad was one of the favorites (he was the only one to remain Catholic, my grandparents were strong Catholics), so he got lots of attention, but now faces a lot of "hate" from his siblings.
    My dad was one of two, both adopted, and he was emotionally abused his whole life. Tons of drama with the family he was adopted into.
    I was one of two and my father was emotionally distant (probably because of his abuse when younger).
    My DH was one of six, and the only drama that was created was the drama of bad decisions from his siblings. One got pregnant in high school and another started drugs in high school and got pregnant multiple times without any real financial support. His parents set high standards with all the children. Now his mother has depression, but it is because of all the decisions her children have made. This probably will support those who say tons of children are bad, and they had the family that people thought was perfect, but his two sisters acted stupid because they wanted to go against their parents. I don't think it has anything to do with the number of siblings they have.
    It all depends on the parents and the family situation.
    Last edited by mara_lyn86; October 25th, 2012 at 03:21 PM.

  5. #49
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,158
    Quote Originally Posted by mara_lyn86 View Post
    My dad was one of two, both adopted, and he was emotionally abused his whole life. Tons of drama with the family he was adopted into.
    I was one of two and my father was emotionally distant (probably because of his abuse when younger).
    My DH was one of six, and the only drama that was created was the drama of bad decisions from his siblings. One got pregnant in high school and another started drugs in high school and got pregnant multiple times without any real financial support. His parents set high standards with all the children. Now his mother has depression, but it is because of all the decisions her children have made. This probably will support those who say tons of children are bad, and they had the family that people thought was perfect, but his two sisters acted stupid because they wanted to go against their parents. I don't think it has anything to do with the number of siblings they have.
    It all depends on the parents and the family situation.
    True each family is different, but the fact there are 6 would make it hard for a parent to keep an eye on all of them, even with two adults, unless they are insanely rich and can both stay home. So I think there is a max number before a family starts falling apart because there just isn't enough of one person to go around. Everything has a limit/breaking point.

    I was one of two and my sister got way more attention than I did. I still feel a little bitter towards my parents because they babied her, which is why personally I only want 1 and if we ever did have 2, it would be when our first child is at least 4 or 5 so they have good distance between them and then they each can get the same amount of care and attention that is needed in their younger years.
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