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  1. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    212
    Thank you for all the replies.

    This is a very tough time in our family.
    I think I will just say i am so sorry, let her know I'm here for her and just let her come to terms with it but not ignore the fact.
    Also sorry to hear so many people have to go through this experience. :/

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    774
    Hugs to everyone. Send her a card letting her know you are thinking of her and maybe bring her a potted plant . Just acknowleging that she is hurting makes a mom feel like people care. Thing is, its such a taboo subject that many would rather just ignore the fact that it happened. In the US there is so much silence involving death and a "move on" attitude. Grieving is a process and while one person may quickly move on after a loss, others grieve in their own way and should not be rushed.

    Please never say "it was God's will", "it wasnt meant to be", "you have other kids", "there was probably something wrong with the baby and it was natures way" or " you can always have more". Having a son die at 21 weeks gestation and a very early mc aroundd 5-6 weeks, I realize people mean well but those comments I listed are hurtful and cruel. Just my own little public setvive announcement for the day.
    Married to my love since August 2001
    --—————————————
    My lovely bunch of coconuts;
    Sebastian Elihu (7/02)
    Bronwen Eliza (2/04)
    Linus Ezra Graham (9/06)
    Violet Leona (1/09) and
    Wolfgang Levi (3/13)
    Always missing our Felix Emmanuel (10/10-10/10)

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    774
    Setvive=service
    Married to my love since August 2001
    --—————————————
    My lovely bunch of coconuts;
    Sebastian Elihu (7/02)
    Bronwen Eliza (2/04)
    Linus Ezra Graham (9/06)
    Violet Leona (1/09) and
    Wolfgang Levi (3/13)
    Always missing our Felix Emmanuel (10/10-10/10)

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Slytherin Common Room
    Posts
    4,904
    Quote Originally Posted by jemama View Post
    Hugs to everyone. Send her a card letting her know you are thinking of her and maybe bring her a potted plant . Just acknowleging that she is hurting makes a mom feel like people care. Thing is, its such a taboo subject that many would rather just ignore the fact that it happened. In the US there is so much silence involving death and a "move on" attitude. Grieving is a process and while one person may quickly move on after a loss, others grieve in their own way and should not be rushed.

    Please never say "it was God's will", "it wasnt meant to be", "you have other kids", "there was probably something wrong with the baby and it was natures way" or " you can always have more". Having a son die at 21 weeks gestation and a very early mc aroundd 5-6 weeks, I realize people mean well but those comments I listed are hurtful and cruel. Just my own little public setvive announcement for the day.

    All of this.

    Hug, card, love and support. I don't think you should mention it, as in bring it up yourself after you give condolences, but let her know that you're thinking of her and are there if she wants to talk.
    Laurel - 21 - Aries - Slytherin - University of Toronto





  5. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    South Australia
    Posts
    915
    I has a miscarriage earlier this year. Someone saying, I'm sorry for your loss, giving me a hug and just letting me know they were there for me made me feel better. I didn't want to talk about it with anyone other than my husband. I just wanted to know that people understood that I was hurting. What made the pain worst was people ignoring the fact that I was hurting, not saying anything when there was a time they should have.
    The 3 Princesses in my life...

    Elizabeth Hope
    Annabelle Cadence
    Madeleine Pearl

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