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Thread: Rolling the dice again...
October 22nd, 2012 12:15 AM #6
I am so glad to see this post because I am very interested to read the answers! Honestly, I had always wanted a child and my first pregnancy was so enjoyable for me that ever since I have just assumed any additional ones would be equally wonderful. I had about one month of morning sickness and absoultely nothing else go wrong, until I delivered a perfectly healthy (breech) baby via c-section at 38 weeks. Of course, just like everyone else here I thought he was perfect.
I did everything I believed I should do as a mom to ensure that he was happy and healthy... I breastfed for 11 months, I kept him up to date on vaccinations, started co-sleeping with him once he was older and had outgrown his bassinet because it seemed to calm him.
I was proactive against germs, I watched for any allergies, I charted his milestones, I asked a million questions at his pediatrician visits. And he has never had any major health or behavioral issues. I do 100% feel like I lucked out and don't deserve such an amazing son.
I used to imagine having 3+ kids around 2 years apart... Currently I am a single mother of a 3 year old with no prospect of expanding my family any time soon. I would love to have another baby, and sometimes fear that he is 'missing out' by not having a sibling. It is hard to imagine ever loving another child this much, and if he is destined to be my only one I would still be perfectly happy with that. But knowing that I'm not even close to expecting sooner rather than later is certainly a bit overwhelming at times.
Additionally my best friend is pregnant with her first. (Que the baby fever!) Everything is fine, but she had so many scares that it still makes my head spin. Blood tests that had to be re-ordered, a shadow on the ultrasound indicative of a heart problem, placenta previa threatening bed rest... Call me naive, but I figured I would conceive the second I wanted to, have another risk-free pregnancy, and deliver another perfectly healthy child. Now I am definitely much more wary of jumping into something that I might not be prepared for.
You obviously will do what feels right for you and your family. Truthfully, with your job, I would feel much safer that if I ever needed any medical assistance it would be swiftly available. If you think it is the right timing, I wouldn't let theoretical worries stop you from experiancing the joy of having two perfect babies. Good luck to you, Blade! I always love reading your thorough comments. =]
Last edited by amydomsmom; October 22nd, 2012 at 12:21 AM. Reason: punctuation, sorry it is so long!
October 22nd, 2012 07:11 AM #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
I don't have kids but when my mom was pregnant with me I know a lot wasn't what she expected. She was pregnant with twins (me and my brother) and we were actually delivered a bit past our due date. I had a weak heart beat the entire pregnancy and during labor my heart actually slowed way down to wear they thought I'd die. My twin brother, the healthier one, actually wound up being stillborn or died shortly after birth because his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck.
So with that pregnancy my mom gained 50+ pounds, lost a child and had a baby that was small and a bad start. Then she had a miscarriage at the beginning of her second trimester about a year and a half later. At that point I'd been cleared of most issues beyond asthma and allergies. Then she got pregnant with my youngest brother and gained 30-ish lbs. My brother was born a grayish color and he stayed in the hospital about a week. He's now 15 and is autistic an has serious behavioral issues. So its really all chance but I think rolling the dice even if you aren't so luck one round is good.
October 23rd, 2012 10:05 PM #10
Thanks all for your replies and kind words. They were very thoughtful.
And @crunchymama-- I'm in my research time too, which is why I've been able to amass 1000 posts on nameberry in the past month.Blade, MD
XY: Antoine Raphael
XX: Cassia Viviane Noor
Allaire * Emmanuelle * Honora * Hyacinthe * Lysandra * Marina * Rosamond * Serena * Sylvana * Thea * Verity / Blaise * Cyprian * Evander * Jules * Laurence * Lucian * Marius * Quentin * Rainier * Silvan
كنوز الصحراء الشرقية Hayat _ Qamar _ Sahar _ / Altair _ Faraj _ Tariq
October 24th, 2012 04:18 PM #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
Seeing as we had twins the second child debate was sort of mute. One of my boys is easygoing, and mild. The other has a fiery temper and is incredibly high energy. I could imagine that if I'd only had the easygoing one, gotten pregnant again and gotten my wonderful little spitfire (who is also, consequently, a broken alarm clock stuck on 4:45 am) it would have been quite a shock. However, they are both amazing and I love them dearly. I feel incredibly luck to have each of them in my life and I actually love that they are such different little people. It is going to make the rest of my life much more interesting.
As a side note I know that I was such a difficult baby that my parents waited 4 years before trying for another child. They knew they wanted one but just couldn't face the baby stage again. Then they got my sister and saw how easy it could be. All kids are different. Fast forward to high school, oh did the tables turn! I was the easy-going, rule-following, little angel, where as my sister was, well, not. At all. She definitely gave them a run for their money. Easy during one stage doesn't necessarily mean easy for life.Mama to my boys, the 'twinadoes', and a little Tingeling.