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October 21st, 2012 03:14 AM #6
October 21st, 2012 06:21 AM #8
I have nothing against working moms. I understand that it is sometimes the only option. But I personally want to wait to have kids until my partner and I are financially stable enough to afford me leaving the work force to stay home and care for our children. I just can't imagine having a baby and then going back to work. not staying at home to raise him/her full time seems like torture. That's what my mother did, and my father worked from home. It was amazing having them both around all the time. I had a terrific childhood because of it.
Last edited by sawdust_and_diamonds; October 21st, 2012 at 06:23 AM.
October 21st, 2012 11:30 AM #10
Before I had Rowan, I thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom as long as possible. But now that she's a year old, I'm actually getting a little stir crazy sitting home all the time. We agreed that my husband will work because he can usually make more money than me (he's a server) but the way it's been lately, I would probably make more if I went back to work. So I'm looking for a job currently so I can be the primary wage earner and he can work 1-2 shifts a week for extra money. And believe it or not, he is a better home maker than me. He's amazing with children, he can cook, he cleans the entire house in under an hour when it takes me waaay longer... so I don't feel guilty or scared of leaving Rowan with him. I know she's in good hands, and I can get out of the house and actually talk to human beings, not just a one year old and her toys.My cherished daughter, Rowan Jane. ~b. 10/2011~
Sawyer ~ Aven ~ Elowen ~ Sage ~ Eilonwy ~ Eleanor
Morgan ~ Asher ~ ___ ~ ___ ~ Currently trying to fill the blanks...
Trying for #2 in January 2014.
October 21st, 2012 06:59 PM #12
October 24th, 2012 03:03 PM #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
I recently enrolled my 15 month old twin boys in preschool. In the beginning I was conflicted about my decision. My husband works (and has since they were 1 month old) and I was going back to finish a degree I had started (for a potential second career, so it wasn't something absolutely essential for me). I was feeling guilty for putting them in school when I didn't "have" to.
There were absolutely aspects of being home with them I loved, but honestly being on my own with them for 10+ hours a day was very wearing on me emotionally and I felt it strained my family in negative ways. I found my patience with my boys and my husband wearing thin.
Seven weeks into their preschool experience I am confident that we made the right choice for our family. Having the time during the day to think about something other than snacks, diapers, milestones, and who is hitting whom has given me much needed space to become an even better mother. Now, during the time I spend with my kids I am more energized and engaged (not that I wasn't before, but it is much less of an effort now). I still miss certain things about getting to spend every moment with them but I would not go back. In fact, today their school was closed for a professional development day. My secret suspicion is that part of the reason for "professional development days" is to remind all the parents how lucky we are to have the preschool in the first place. (Lets just say today was rough for me.)
But so far I've focused on the benefits for myself, neglecting the benefits for my kids. I have noticed huge leaps in their abilities in things like hand eye coordination, and their ability to interact with older kids (among SO many other things). Whenever we walk by their preschool (and this happens a lot since it is really close to our house) they get excited because they think they are going to get to go play. They love their teachers and have already, in the short time they have been there, developed great relationships with them. They are also able to get a huge amount of stimulation that it would be difficult for me to provide for them on my own. The school has access to a much more a wider variety of toys than we have, as well as huge amounts of art supplies and a diverse range of instruments. They are learning so much from the environment there. Now I'm sure there are some schools wouldn't be as fantastic- we were careful to pick one that we felt aligned with our personal values- but we feel strongly that attending school is having a positive impact on their lives. Do I still have twinges of guilt sometimes that they are there long hours on some days (7:30 to 4pm on the longest days)? Sure I do. But do I know that our decision is the best possible thing for my family's cohesion, sanity and general well-being? Absolutely. I think that is the most important consideration for any family.
On a broader note, if the aspect of preschool is of interest, you should check out The Perry Preschool Project from 1962. It is an incredible experiment that demonstrated the wide ranging lasting benefits of preschool. It was also discussed in one of this week's Planed Money episodes (from NPR).Mama to my boys, the 'twinadoes', and a little Tingeling.