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  1. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    4,514
    I think doulas are a scam, sorry. They usually charge very high fees (average is about $3000, cash only) to rub your back and yell at people for you. They aren't worth the money, not one bit. They don't have any medical training whatsoever-- they're not even lay midwives-- and yet they often take it upon themselves to "translate" the situation and insert themselves into the care plan, to everyone (particularly you, the laboring mother)'s detriment.

    If you're really, really, really terrified of childbirth, have no close female friends or relatives whom you'd like to have as a labor support person, if your partner is uninvolved and if you have a lot of spare cash lying around then maybe it's worth it. Maybe.
    Blade, MD

    XY: Antoine Raphael
    XX: Cassia Viviane Noor

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  2. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    somewhere in Europe
    Posts
    1,289
    I'm getting one, mostly because I live on a different continent than my mother/mother-in-law/other experienced female relatives (who will all, for obvious reasons, be skipping out on the birth). I doubt that this is a route I'd go if I had more people around to help, but I see it as sort of the equivalent of hiring a pseudo-relative to help you get through the birth process.
    *****************************
    *Mother to twins Charles and Samuel*

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Wishing for Greece, stuck in the US
    Posts
    6,038
    See, I kind of agree with Cressida and Blade. I feel like if you have experienced family, family that is involved in the birth, then there's no need for a doula at all. My husband is going to rub my back and make sure I follow my birth plan and that the doctors remember what I don't want.

    I don't know what the point of paying $3000 for something my husband is going to do for me, or my mother, grandmother, aunt, sister (if I had an older one)...

    Maybe if I had absolutely nobody to help me, maybe I would look into it, but i certainly don't have that kind of money to spend on something family could do for me.
    Mother, Hellenic Pagan Priestess, and Resident Greek name expert ^_^ Call me Dantea or Remy

    http://covertocoverediting.webs.com/ -- Editing services available for cheap.

    Proud Mama to:
    Persephone Elysia Willow -- June 5th 2013
    TTC #2 by Christmas 2014

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    774
    3,000? Really? Yikes! I think the most expensive one I have heard of locally is maybe 5-600$. I have friends who do it and are not DONA certified and charge maybe 20$ an hour or something like that, 25$ an hour actually now that I think about it.

    I think it depends on what a woman wants in birth, and after too. I loved mine and wouldnt go back to being without...as I said, my husband was clueless with my first birth and while he means well and tries his hardest, he was never as good as a woman was with me. Then again, my doulas were always either my sister or close friends, so that may be different than hiring a random person, not sure.

    We do not live in a culture where women have access to family members near by who are able and willing to be there for the birth, in the way the mother wants to. We also live in a culture where many women do not have this support, thus, perhaps if they did a non-medicated birth (if so is their wish) would be possible. I know of many cases where the mothers/mother-in-laws just sit there and do nothing because when they had their children that is what they did as an active participant...sit there and let the drs and nurses tell them what to do. Perfectly fine in emergancy cases of course, but for those non-emergancy cases they were not the active participant they perhaps wanted to be, or, even knew that they could be. My mother is a retired nurse, and thinks she knows better than pretty much everyone, she was there for my sisters birth and I have never had her at mine because 1) She thinks I am stupid for not getting pain meds and 2) Her personality and mine clash. MIL is lovely but clueless, she was knocked out (twilight sleep?) for the birth of her oldest and for the others I know she was not an active participant for their normal, vaginal births because the hospital did not allow it at the time.

    For me, in my natural hospital birth my sister who acted as my doula did a great job. She didnt get between the dr or nurses and me, she made my wishes known and knew her place. Large majority of local doulas I know do this too, they do not get between anybody, but rather help out in pain management ways, fetching food and what not. Dont get me wrong, I know of a handful who try to tell the drs what is up, but these women hardly get hired and if they do, its because somehow their bad name did not get known to the unsuspecting mothers who do hire them.
    Married to my love since August 2001
    --—————————————
    My lovely bunch of coconuts;
    Sebastian Elihu (7/02)
    Bronwen Eliza (2/04)
    Linus Ezra Graham (9/06)
    Violet Leona (1/09) and
    Wolfgang Levi (3/13)
    Always missing our Felix Emmanuel (10/10-10/10)

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Wishing for Greece, stuck in the US
    Posts
    6,038
    Amending what I'm said ;; It's $1000 here to get a doula, but still. I can't spend $1000 for basically someone to get me food and rub my back. My husband can do that.
    Mother, Hellenic Pagan Priestess, and Resident Greek name expert ^_^ Call me Dantea or Remy

    http://covertocoverediting.webs.com/ -- Editing services available for cheap.

    Proud Mama to:
    Persephone Elysia Willow -- June 5th 2013
    TTC #2 by Christmas 2014

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