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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    774
    I love having several children, however, that is my choice. All I wish is that parents will give love to their children, whether one or 10, that each child is made to feel loved, wanted and is provided for....it annoys me when people get crazy about how many kids a person does or does not have. My one BIL and his wife plan on having no children and my inlaws are all up in arms about this, so what! They are admitting they do not want any and not bringing a child into the world that they feel will not fit with their life. Good for them for acknowledging this and putting up with everyones assumptions.

    All this to say, what I choose is best for *my family* and what another person chooses is best for them, and who am I to say what another family should do, and who is anyone to say what I should do, kwim?

    People also never know (unless they are close to you) what a woman goes through to have children. Infertility is horrible, I wish it on nobody and unless somebody has had this happen to them, or, knows a person who this has happened to they need to think before they speak. While I am so very lucky to have only had 1 miscarriage, I have also had 1 stillbirth and already random stupid strangers are saying things to me and my DH while we have our 4 children in tow about our family size and if they only knew the struggle to add a much wanted 5th child to our family (we had the mc almost a year to the day after our son was born dead) they would shut the heck up and consider what is coming out of their mouths. I am sorry that people feel the need to comment on your family size, I have several friends who have one child either by choice or not by their own choice (infertility) and the things they hear make me cringe on a regular basis.


    Much love to you! Keep adoring your beautiful child!
    Last edited by jemama; September 15th, 2012 at 05:39 PM.
    Married to my love since August 2001
    --—————————————
    My lovely bunch of coconuts;
    Sebastian Elihu (7/02)
    Bronwen Eliza (2/04)
    Linus Ezra Graham (9/06)
    Violet Leona (1/09) and
    Wolfgang Levi (3/13)
    Always missing our Felix Emmanuel (10/10-10/10)

  2. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    9,657
    Quote Originally Posted by econo View Post

    I have an only. My friends who are onlies tell me that one thing that they do worry about is dealing with their parents' end of life health crises by themselves. I think therefore, that i f you have an only, it's important to have a will, living will, assisted living, retirement accounts etc. sorted out properly so that your child will have an easier time dealing with any crises that might arise.


    http://www.time.com/time/magazine/ar...002530,00.html
    Good advice to be prepared. I wish that I had been the only one looking after my mother because the other siblings caused huge problems it would have been much better for all if I had been in charge.

    rollo
    Psalm 23

  3. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    167
    I am an only child and was happy growing up. Never wanted a sibling.

    My DH has a sister and he and his sister were also very happy growing up.

    My point is: it really don't matter. Children are happy as long as you love them.

  4. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    302
    I'm really glad to see this forum. I am also an only child not by my parent's choice. All of my cousins come from large families, so when I get a new toy (ie the tablet I just bought for my birthday) or the 3,000 dollar cheerleading team I was on, they assume it's because I'm a spoiled only child. People don't know what goes on behind closed doors, such as the 1,000 dollars I pay my parents in rent a month (I'm 22) or the two jobs I worked in high school to help pay for the cheerleading.

    It's always been a source of pride for my mother that I was known in school and cheerleading for being polite, hardworking and compassionate. In turn, that has helped with the snide remarks from other people about being "spoiled".

    So long as you keep reinforcing in your son how proud you are of his compassion and how well mannered he is, any rude comments or assumptions will sting less and less.

  5. #19
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    302
    Quote Originally Posted by econo View Post
    Only children actually tend to do better in terms of educational attainment, and they don't seem to have adjustment problems. I'm attaching an article that references some of the research. The recent book "Nurture Shock", by Po Bronson discusses sibling rivalry, and it turns out that children learn bad behaviors from having siblings as well as good ones.

    I'm also really glad to read this, also. My parents were told to hold me back in first grade. They were "informed" that due to my younger age and the fact that I was an only child I'd be less socially developed than the other children. Funnily enough, my birthday is only the end of August, before the September cut-off. I'm 22 and never had "social-issues" through any of my schooling years, thanks very much, Principal F.

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