Finding Out

[janell]

I was just wondering what people think about finding out the gender of your baby? I am pregnant with my second, and the all-important ultrasound is coming up and I can't decide what to do. We found out with our first, and I have no regrets about it, but I feel like maybe it would be fun to let it be a surprise this time. A lot of my friends who are expecting or have recently had babies have waited, and swear that its the best, but then, they never did it the other way either.

So I guess I just wanted to know what others experiences are with this? Has anyone found out the gender with one baby and not another? What did you prefer? Anyone get a WRONG prediction? If you are pregnant now, will you find out?

I'm kind of nervous about not finding out this time (silly as it may be) because of the names. When I was pregnant before, I had a short list of boy's and girl's names already picked out that I felt confident about. But as soon as I found out I was having a girl, all the names on the list just felt wrong. So then I had to start from scratch to find the "right" name. So I guess I'm afraid if I don't find out the gender until baby is born, that same thing will happen again, only this time I won't have time to find a name that feels right.

Anyway, I know it's silly, but I just was wondering what everyone's thoughts are on this.

[dayjoysky2815]

We never find out the genders of our children until the day they are born. I have several reasons for this

1. It eliminates gender disappoint, although I do not believe this would ever truly be an issue in our family.
2. We actually enjoy designing a unisex nursery
3. It builds a sort of excitement and it is fun to sort of, fantasize with your partner about different possibilities. Will we have another girl? Or will this be our first boy?
4. I think it actually helps speed the labor process along as it is much more exciting on the actual day of the child's birth.
5. We love not only announcing "it's a girl" or "it's a boy" to our family in the hospital but also announcing the child's name (which we also do not share with ANYBODY) on the day of the birth. It brings the family together. It's really lovely.
6. Ultrasounds are very rarely actually medically necessary. And my husband and I are minimalists, so we opt out of them when possible.

[historia]

I'm currently pregnant and did find out at the 20 week ultrasound. I'm glad that I did. I refer to him by his name when talking to or about him and that helps with bonding. I had a strong feeling early on that I was having a boy and really wanted confirmation. I do have a girl name back-up (though I imagine it'd feel weird to use it after using another name for months) just in case the ultrasound was wrong. It doesn't change nursery designs for me because I like the look of gender neutral nurseries more anyway.

I'm not someone who lives for surprises, so finding out didn't ruin anything for me. In fact, I'm so anti-surprises that I want to know everything now, including things I can't, like eye color and if he'll have hair or not. I want to know everything about him. I've never been good at waiting and it's hard enough waiting to meet him and get to know his personality.

[strawberry shortcake]

I also would opt not to find out the gender, for the reasons given by @dayjoysky2815. Its just a couple more weeks, it isn't as though you'll NEVER find out the gender of the baby.

So much can be told by ultrasounds these days. 3d/4d scans give accurate portrayal of what baby will look at. Doctors can guess the size of baby based on fundal height and can also make weight estimations that usually turn out to be correct. The gender is one of the few things that can stay a surprise.

I was present when my sister gave birth to my nephew. I will never forget the look on her face when her husband said to her "Honey, its a boy, we have a son!". I want that for myself. The pure excitement and euphoria between them was so beautiful.

I do think that all births are special and if you do decide to find out, it won't take away any of the specialness.

These are just my thoughts. Best of luck with your pregnancy regardless of your decision

[strawberry shortcake]

Apologies, double post.

[tinabina]

I see no difference. Pretty much all the excitement is the same at five months as it is at 9 IMO. I know people who have done it both ways. Way I see it, if there is going to be any gender disappointment there will be some regardless. Knowing the sex does not mean you have to choose pink or blue. You can still go neutral! You spend the majority of the pregnacy guessing anyways. The only benefit I can honestly say is with the lack of research on u/s, if you want to be 100% safe skip them. Otherwise there is no benefit to waiting. Anyone who tells you one way is "better" than the other is full of it. It's all about personal preference, some people ENJOY not knowing, and many can't wait to find out.

To the OP if you're really worried you'll regret not finding out have the tech write it on a piece of paper and seal it in an enveloppe. Then if at 7 months you regret it you have a backup!

[gigigibbons]

I want to know the gender so badly and it has a practical advantage that you can prepare (mostly clothing, I hate cutesy gender neutral items, in fact I despise most cutesy items that are gender obvious too, it's so hard to find clothes I like) , but on the other hand this is our last child and it's also our last chance to have that "grand reveal" at birth.

I have found out with every previous pregnancy. I'm due in April and it feels a million years away. 32 more weeks! But I have to say today I'm leaning towards waiting until birth, but I'll be completely honest and say that I may just as easily change my mind tomorrow.

[vintage moon]

Personally we are not finding out, not for any specific reason - we just both want to wait. Mind we were very tempted to find out a with our cvs results as its an option & would be 100% accurate. It's a very personal decsion & there's no right or wrong way. I would never look down on someone for findind out. When I've cared for women in labour there's always something nice if they are having a surprise, perhaps it's just that I feel I'm more part of their experience that way.

Saying all this we are convinced our little one is a boy & I will be on total shock if not!

[hayley88]

Thought not pregnant myself, it is something I've thought about. I think I would rather not find out until the baby is born. With the exception being if I was pregnant with twins or more, just because it is probably more necessary.

All that being said no doubt when I do eventually have to make the decision for real, I won't be able to help myself! lol

[tiffanymessinger]

we found out with our first 3 but decided not to find out for our 4th. I have no regrets with the way we did it either! I am a planner and wanted to be prepared for the day they arrived. This time we figured we have everything for both genders so we'll see what all the hype is about with not knowing. The main thing I hate with not knowing is when we talk about "the baby" theres not a name or he or she the poor thing is most of the time called "it" which just sounds horrible to me!
I don't think there's a right or wrong way, its completely your own personal preference! Good luck deciding!!